Thanks a bunch for your critique! I've been posting this every few months for the past year or so and I have gotten some really good critiques and having your thoughts on here really makes me encouraged to keep trying. Most of what you have said was a reiteration of past reviews in the WIP forum:
(8/9/07) http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=8586
(3/27/07) http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=10426
On this thread, Splunkle, Radiowar, and JMr all commented pretty much the same as you, although this was a prior iteration of my arrangement. The current one I was focusing on what you suggested, although since you said it for this arrangement, it means I still haven't resolved the problems of clarity, transition, meandering, ... I have had trouble making the flow of ideas seem a little more clear because production side, I don't have much technical ability with FL Studio or Reason, and Audacity/finale really don't cut it in the way of eq'ing and balancing the soundscape. Lengthwise, I'm sure there are excesses, but I left a lot of ideas in because I figured whomever I worked with on production would be able to work with me and give feedback about where to cut more and where to refine more so that the ultimate intention of the song gets communicated.
To respond to your question regarding instrument usage, I mainly used piano and the strings so that the listener could at least hear some interchange between leading arrangement and the supporting instrumentation. I have also listened to more arrangements with strings and piano from ocremix.org so my ear is better attuned to listening and reproducing those ideas on finale... haha. Not that it makes much sense to write that way.
The larger idea behind the arrangement is supposed to be a slowed down version of the source material. Since in the actual game, sonic is speeding through this entire thing, I wanted to mold it to have a more scenic understanding of the lava flow. I was intending to have lava reef zone be repeated 3-4 times as the main melody and the transition between each loop be supported by variation on the other parts of lava reef. I tried to emphasize the hanging chord structure variation after the end of each melody iteration because this was a motif other remixers seemed to be doing. Sadorf in his demos even emphasized a descending chord structure and then jumping back up:
I also tried to add a very slowed down melody of hidden palace in the background, it works, although it will take a lot more work to make it sound natural and balanced with lava reef. It also sounds funny to me sometimes because I took the two melodies and just sort of found a way to stick them together.
Could you hear any of this?
Regardless, I thank you for putting in the time to listen and critique this as I haven't had much luck attracting enough attention in the past for getting a lot of feedback, and so I am not sure exactly how to proceed. Now I know that production will probably help shave off the extra time and clear up the transition and ideas here and there. If you do end up reading this comment and have time to respond, I would really be excited to hear more specifically what you meant in your comments.
-Kevin