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JH Sounds

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    WCT - [COMPETITION OVERHAUL - NEED IDEAS] The Writing Competition Thread

    in Competitions

    Posted

    In lieu of a more dedicated submission from me, here are the scripts for my comic strips of this week.

    CRACKTON, August 1-5

    PATIENT: So I was at the dentist's office, and on the TV there was this familiar-looking teen actress, right?

    SHRINK: Okay...

    PATIENT: I knew I had seen her in a film, but I couldn't remember where, exactly.

    SHRINK: I follow.

    PATIENT: Then it hit me, and I yelled out the title in front of the patients in the waiting room.

    SHRINK: How did you feel after saying that?

    PATIENT: Well... How would you feel if a five-year-old in braces gave you the stinkeye?

    - - -

    PATIENT: Hey, you know what this session could use? Some incense.

    SHRINK: Incense? I'm allergic.

    PATIENT: To what? Fragrance?

    SHRINK: To smoke.

    PATIENT: Incense isn't smoke. It's a pleasant scent.

    SHRINK: It burns, irritates me and makes me terribly ill.

    PATIENT: All that, and it comes out smelling like a rose!

    SHRINK: A burning rose.

    - - -

    SHRINK: You know, we've had these sessions for quite some time now.

    PATIENT: Years at this point.

    SHRINK: Well, I don't think I've gotten to know you well. Or at all.

    PATIENT: How so?

    SHRINK: I really can't tell if you're being sincere. Whether you're revealing parts of yourself, or spinning tales.

    PATIENT: Sounds like something my ex would say.

    SHRINK: You have an ex?

    PATIENT: No. I just thought that would be a cool reply.

    - - -

    PATIENT: So I was at this store and there was this woman. She totally likes me.

    SHRINK: Oh?

    PATIENT: Yeah. She smiled at me, but then avoided me when I tried to talk to her.

    SHRINK: Well, maybe she's just smiley, and doesn't actually like you.

    (stunned pause)

    PATIENT: Nah, she totally likes me.

    SHRINK: (scribbles notes)

    - - -

    PATIENT: Where am I?

    ADMIN: The hall of shrinks. You do not belong here.

    PATIENT: Hall of what?

    ADMIN: It is a place of official business. Only shrinks are allowed.

    PATIENT: But I know a shrink. We've been pals for years.

    ADMIN: You are a patient.

    PATIENT: So?

    ADMIN: Shrinks are not to converse with patients at the administrative level. Now, see your way out. I'm off for a hot date.

    WCT - [COMPETITION OVERHAUL - NEED IDEAS] The Writing Competition Thread

    in Competitions

    Posted

    Posted on behalf of Mirby, who is having trouble signing in to the forums.

    Humanity Is Queer by Taylor Brown

    “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” Oscar Wilde said these words many years ago, yet they still resonate strongly today with people of all ages. But in particular, I think these words have the highest resonance with those who don’t fit into the fallacy of the gender binary, with people who are gay, bi, trans, gender variant, and anything and everything in between. Yet despite this, people get attacked for being themselves. People get raped for being themselves. And, saddest of all, people get killed for committing the supposed crime of expressing who they truly are on the inside, for being themselves. Is it society that has conditioned the approval of such violent behavior? For that matter, does society even condone such abhorrent acts?

    Personally, I don’t think it does anymore. Once, long ago, it did. During a time before the legendary Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and many other like-minded individuals fought for their civil rights and to end racism as it was. Maybe even way back when the late President Abraham Lincoln abolished slavery and started the genesis for what would become the aforementioned civil rights movement a century thereafter. Maybe during a time when women were only viewed as property, deserving of fewer rights than the family dog or even the corral keeping the livestock contained. Yet with all these advances of civil liberties, with all this acceptance towards people from all walks of life, why then do people of varying genders still get abused so? Why is it that this substantial segment of the population is still considered to be second-class, or worse?

    We are no different from anyone else, be they white or black, rich or poor, or even fat or slim. And despite this, we still get shunned for things we deserve, even housing. Thousands of homeless queer youth sleep on the streets, in places where even the elements can take out some unspoken rage on individuals, each night. Something that, for some reason, isn’t really permitted by the law. I understand that cleaning the streets can make a city more appealing to tourists and potential new residents, but at what cost? Livelihood, safety, or even the sanity of a homeless youth? Since when was sleeping prohibited under the law, based solely on the fact that the location isn’t ideal? And even if we do find a place indoors, off the streets, just because a building is abandoned yet infinitely safer than the not-so-great outdoors, we still get in trouble for it. All because we’re trying to find a safe place to rest, somewhere away from the oft-vicious elements. How does this make any sense?

    We live in a time where the very system that has given everyone else what they need gives us nothing in turn. A place where the things we need to live are denied to us by officials full of bigotry and hatred towards something they only fear because they don’t understand it. Even things that we do manage to get can simply cease to exist due to budget cuts, possibly for a good reason, but more often than not because some public official decided they needed a new Lamborghini or something; an object more suited to vanity than practicality, one that costs more than the simple price tag on the rear window at the dealership. What most officials don’t realize is that once they get into office, they are thrust into a game where lives hang in the balance. Take away our rights, and you’ve very well taken a life. Maybe it wasn’t by your hand, but it was surely a consequence of your actions. And even if they do know, they can easily disregard it, chalk it up to another queer youth whose life was ended by something surely unrelated to what they’ve done. Take away our safe places, and lives are endangered. Take away our housing, and lives are endangered. Take away any vestiges of security, and lives are endangered.

    Yet even with all these actions endangering the homeless queer youth, nothing is done about it at the highest levels. Endangered animals whose habitats are ritually destroyed by deforestation and urban development are more protected under the law than we are, yet we face an even deadlier foe. Hatred, bigotry, and ignorance among those who are human just like us. Too often do people focus on what makes us all similar rather than the beauty of what makes us all unique, and that is usually the root of the problem. We’re all different, and thus we are all a bit queer. After all, the dictionary entry for queer states that the world simply means strange or odd. And we as humans are rather strange compared to the rest of the animals. We have many different languages, we walk upright and can build things, we have the mental capacity to do anything we set our minds to. All in all, rather odd creatures we make indeed.

    Yet people use these words as insults, which usually fails because by now we’ve taken that word back and it’s no longer derogatory. Similar to the infamous “n-word” which simply means “ignorant person.” Which is ironic, because in using that as an insult only shows that the user is the truly ignorant one, which in turn makes it hilarious to hear. To summarize, too many queer youth are attacked for being who they are. To quote the band Audioslave, “To be yourself is all that you can do.” Yet just for that we’re attacked, shunned, and denied basic needs all too often. Just because we’re homeless doesn’t make us any better or worse than those that are housed; just because we’re queer doesn’t make us any less deserving of anything than those who feel they aren’t; just because we’re youth doesn’t mean we lack the experience or drive to get everything together. In fact, we’ve probably learned more living on the streets than those who have had steady housing, income, and/or work for their whole lives. I’ll leave you all with a poem, written by yours truly.

    We’re all a little bit queer,

    If you’re not, then you’re not really here,

    No need to be snide or to sneer,

    Or even to glare or to leer,

    Whether you’re far or you’re near,

    There’s truly nothing to fear,

    So pull up a chair and a beer,

    And let’s toast! To being a bit queer!

    Here here!

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