Liontamer Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 My real name: Alexander the Great...er Alex Remixer Name: HoboKa song remixed: WaterFall Area (Stage 3-2) Game: Castlevania IV Remix name: Cascading Falls style: Orchestral Link: "You and I have discussed what it means for a song to have direction and cohesion before, and I've shown you examples, so try to take that to heart before sending another piece our way, because what Jon said was right; thusfar, your submissions have all suffered from the same basic, fatal flaws." Quoted by the great Darkesword in regards to my Maridia remix. And so I've learnt from SOME of these fatal mistakes Mr. Darkesword and I've integrated them into this orchestration. Sorry to dissapoint you JJT, but you won't be able to predict how this composition goes this time :3 *Ahem*, anyways, enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------------ http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=scv4 - "The Waterfalls" (scv4-06b.spc) The phrasing from :12-:14 was decidedly awkward, but resolved OK. Source kicked in at :14, going for a lot more ethereal feel than the original. The piano could have used more realism in the tone, but there were some good ideas there in having it get louder and softer during each verse. The composition felt a lot more cohesive than your usual material, Alex, but to be honest, it's because it mostly held to the structure of the original. Nonetheless, a lot of the instrumentation ideas and new supporting writing seems to have clicked well. The pads and mechanical-ish vox reminded me of Israfel and GrayLightning's old material. You definitely were a lot more successful with this piece than any of your previous material. But while the mood of the piece was new, the overall structure was pretty close with the source. Though some of the instrumentation was similar to the style of the original, I'm a big fan of cover-ish pieces effectively changing the mood of an original piece into something new as long as some new supporting writing is there, and this was definitely positive on that level. And while the cohesiveness of this compared to your other work is helped by the structure of the original, you've still done some creative things in interpreting it. If you get the piano tone sounding more natural and introduce maybe one more concept to further add your own flair to the arrangement, it would push this over the line. Definitely resub this, I felt it was close and did a good job adding a more mysterious feel to an already cool track. Good luck with the rest of the vote! NO (refine/resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I gotta say, Alex, I think this is definitely a big step production-wise from your last submission. I was really feeling the mood here, and your instrument choices worked well together. The articulations were good. I think your writing has improved as well, but this one plays a little too similarly to the original in terms of instrumentation and notes. Maybe modifying some of the parts a little more might give this that boost of originality to put it over the top. I did like your original writing and I think it complimented; especially the harp part at 2:26. The transitions you added were somewhat dissonant, but the one at 1:46 was not bad, and they always resolved quickly. I also would have liked the section at 1:01 to be a little fuller, as it seems like a chorus of sorts - maybe you can add more original writing there. You're gonna get something passed one day, Alex, I can feel it. But probably not this time. Knowing you, I'm sure you will revisit this one and hopefully you'll take our suggestions to heart. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 Machine-gunning harp articulations with an accidental passing note sounds pretty bad at :13. Pretty ethereal throughout, though it begins to wear on the listening about halfway through. I don't feel like there's enough development here; a lot of this mix is just plodding eighth notes filling in the spaces swelling pads and strings. The punchy, bright piano doesn't help because it jars the listener out of the smooth pads. There are some weird dissonant bits here and there, and like the piano they break the flow of the song. I don't think they work. I suppose this is more cohesive than your other work, but it still suffers from meandering development. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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