Liontamer Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Hi, I have not registered to your website since I was only recommended to upload the file to the website, but I hope you'll take submissions regardless of whether or not i'm registered. My remixer name: Otreum Real name: Nathan Francis Email address: nf25488@hotmail.com Website: http://www.moddb.com/members/192515/otreum userid: don't have one Submission Information: Name of game arranged: (???) SNES Jurassic Park? Name of individual song arranged: SNES Jurassic Park mountain song remake? Additional informaiton: I have no idea who the composer of the original song was called. The original song was for the Super Nintendo top view Jurassic Park game. Original sound track: My own comments: Well, I was looking at the Jurassic Park mod and read that they would rather just get a JP game out there rather than worry about who makes it or any of that, they didn't care who got it done, as long as it could be finished and playable. Since this song was an all time favourite song from the JP game and since I initially started making a JP total conversion (now i'm making a different TC), I figured that I would remake the song. That's really about it. The song was for that mod, but now i'm not sure I want them to have it for reasons I will keep to myself. That's about it, enjoy the song ---------------------------------------------------------------- Man, that source is full of groove. http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=jp - "Triceratops Trot" (jp-05.spc) Nice intro with the vox, with the source tune already fading in, then crossfading into a pan flute-type deal at :14. The melody was slightly simplified, but pretty straightforward. Some good buildup at :38 via an added countermelody and light percussion. More buildup from :57-1:16 with some really flimsy sounding drums that sounded stapled on in the back, and some addition percussion in the lower frequency ranges that ended up distorting. Not good. Had a solid idea for a dropoff at 1:16, but the texture was too empty, IMO. I thought everything was pretty poorly balanced. The main drums have no meat on them, the other drums were muddying up the background and the woodwind lead was lonely. Also, the harmonization was nearly inaudible and doesn't have any synergy with the lead. Both the vox and the brass weren't a factor, they were so obscured. I liked writing of the changeup at 2:33, as well as the string harmonization from 2:53-3:12. The harmonization at 2:38 seemed out of key with the lead. The drums at 3:21 were just as poor of a fit there as they were anywhere else; they never sound like they're in the same soundscape. What the hell was that writing that first crept in at 3:31? It just sounds awkward. Same with the countermelodic string synth writing at 3:50; "capital U" Ugly. Wish I could be nicer about it, but it's just extremely poorly written and doesn't sound musical at all. It all showed up in the latter half, but it seems like once you went to add in more wholly original flourishes, you fell pretty hard. Retool all of that. A lot of the problems here had to do with the mixing and effects not being properly balanced. Once you do that and then flesh out the soundfield a bit more, this'll be in a lot better shape. Decent base so far, Nathan. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zykO Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 yes, the intro was beautifully put together. the vocals were dreamy and your entire atmosphere was spot on where it needed to be. once it picks up, though, it's obvious that while you have a great idea, you're still a ways away from making this ready to go. for one, once you go into the middle break section, you are very sparse but not quite dramatic enough for the instrumentation to carry the weight of the section... topping it off, you enter the next section without much in the way of variation from the first one. after 3:30, you start getting very daring with some of your variations but the flute lead is still plodding through there. the track should have probably ended at 3:30 as the whole last minute is very confusing and doesn't bring much more to the track (And then the flute just runs out making the end really awkward) before it sputters away. 3:20 is really where this should have ended if you worked on developing the stuff up to that point to more or less tell more of a story cuz frankly, that's waht this was doing up till about a minute in when the groove took over and didn't let up for the rest of the track. speaking of the groove, the drums need more meat on them and slap some funky bright bass in there and make that groove a real one... right now, it is just supporting the flute (everything is, actually) and it needs to anchor the whole track. i don't normally give so much in suggestions but i think this is particularly close to being very good artistically but is very far technically from meeting our bar. but really, you're onto something here. NOrework/resub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big giant circles Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I liked the ambience in the beginning. After that, the track sort of takes a steady walk downhill. I was a little disappointed that you clung to a pan-flute-ish lead just like the source has. The source has a nice hook, it's definitely got room for you to kick around a different patch there. Also, the lead was way too repetitive. I was pretty awful sick of it by the end of the track. I'd suggest changing up not only instruments, but also maybe switching up the near-verbatim melody once in a while to keep the track from getting boring. The drums are definitely too thin, and there's no effective separation between any of the instruments. The part-writing towards the end was actually, well, pretty awful. The synth does not compliment the flute in the slightest way. Pretty amature stuff, you sound like you might be fairly new to remixing, which is fine. I've definitely heard worse from people who've been at this a good while. Keep practicing. Try to stay away from too much repetition, and hit up the WIP forums for advice on mixing your finished track more cleanly. And trust your ears--if something doesn't sound right, it's probably not. And if for some crazy reason your ears are lying to you, grab someone else and use theirs. Most people can tell when notes are clashing, whether they're musical or not. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts