Seiken Densetsu 3 'The Forbidden Path' (Few Paths Forbidden)

[Supercussionist]

http://www.myspace.com/supercussionsremixedmadevideogamemusic this is my first song.

the song is from seiken densetsu 3

the first song is the one that ive submitted before i knew about here.

i know that there are a lot of sound balancing issues

anyway the song is notated on finale, then midi transfered onto garage band.

the beginning starts out slow, then the beat comes it with a simple bass drum, cym, snare intro.

the drum part is entirely made up by myself. i emphasized the octave drop in the bass line on some parts. there is also a drum solo in the middle.

the bass line is entirely made up with some hints of the original D octave drop to the Bb run.

during the second melody verse i came up with my own bass line because the original had NO bass line at all there.

during the drum solo the bass line plays a constant same rhythm and notes. why? because ive seen jazz artist chris botti use this type of soloing in one of his songs featuring his drummer.

tell me advice and lemme know what i can improve.

you may listen to the others, but they are quite repetative.

EDIT: the original mp3 does not sound like the one on myspace.

[Rozovian]

It's a little muddy. Part of it is the myspace compression, but you could improve it with Apple's multiband compressor AU. It can take a little tweaking to get it right, but try the presets. You could raise the third and/or fourth band EQ slider, and/or drop the second a bit. That's what I'm guessing would be best, but you should go with your ears rather than my guess.

I'm not sure the arrangement could get this on OCR. There's some production issues, but mostly arrangement things. The source is used well, imo, and the drum writing is great. The melodies from source are used verbatim for most part. Then again, the arrangement is significantly modified for your drum-oriented approach.

Still, there's little clicks in some instruments, there's the overall muddy sound. I also think it's a bit quiet, but as I can't download it I can't say for sure. Actually, the whole post can be summed up as "I'm not sure".

I'm enjoying the track, and it's a few production fixes from being _good_, imo. But even then, it could have arrangement issues that the J's are gonna reject it for (such as the lack of interpretation of source). It does have a lot of good qualities, so it's certainly worth working on, improving. Good luck!

[Supercussionist]

should i add in some melodic solos or melody curves into the mix?

[Rozovian]

Dunno. You could start by fixing the production problems, so you have a good version of the current arrangement before doing any changes to it. better yet, take a backup.

Then add more melodic content, or change the stuff you got. Jeremy Robson's Not So Ordinary People is a good example of how you can take a short bit of a source and use it in different keys, different rhythms, and get a lot of variation. You don't need to make drastic changes, but lace the emptier sections with references to the source, and vary the melodies you did use (just not too much).

[Supercussionist]

I know it's been a looong time. and theyve finally evaluated my song. i submitted the old version about 3 months ago. now ive beefed it up a lot.

the drums are now on separate tracks, and everything is finally panned out so that things are not clashing.

0:15-0:45, ive added a drum solo. instead of just hi hat sixteenths

0:46-1:05, added another synth voice and made the melody louder

1:43-2:29, it was a cut and paste of the first verse, but i made the main melody a background and added my own melody and countermelodies within this whole section

2:30-2:48, here ive put in a melody that hints "meridian dance"(mana beast boss theme in secret of mana) and changed it up to fit the chords

2:49-3:50, drum solo stayed the same, the judges liked it.

3:51-4:13, at this part, i put in a the melody of "still of the night"(pure land theme in secret of mana). it has a different rhythm. ive used the main few paths forbidden melody as a countermelody, and for the second time around, i made the notes different, while rhythm is the same.

4:33-5:16, all i did here, for the ending, is add in a little backgrounds. and the panned out synth spin at the break

i still need to fix the drums at some parts. and master the track a little better.

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/filestore/m/mbvt-The%20Forbidden%20Path%20(mp3).mp3 *old version

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/filestore/r/rdbi-The%20Forbidden%20Path%20MELODIC%20EDIT.mp3 *updated version

[Rozovian]

Hihats and crashes feel a bit too high, you could give them some more mids. Currently, the frequency balance seems to be that the low mids and the high highs are emphasized. I'd give the kick some more lows, snare the snare a little more mids. And compress those two more, see if you can get them more punchy. Actually, you could give them a boost using the 31-band EQ AU in the 100-200 range, see what gets you the best punch. I recommend you bring up each frequency band to max to see which gives you the most punch, then taking it to just a few dB above normal.

I suggest you give the bass some more definition, at least in the solo section. 3:12, the hats seems phased. Distortion or overdrive can do that for you. Transition from the solo felt a little forced.

The 4:13 left-panned melody is in the perfect range to fill out the track. It's panned a little too far, imo, and having the bass panned doesn't work either, imo, but I didn't notice that until the 413L melody came in. I do recommend pushing both of them towards the center, tho they don't have to be dead center. The range the 413L is in is otherwise empty for most of the track. A faint pad could work here. It can be EQd to be without lows and cutoff to not have much highs, but it needs to cover that range. The organ-like pad you already have is nice, but you need something a little lower too. You could add soft little snippets of source melody here and there, reworked into another rhythm, fast or slow, in that range, too, just to fill it out a bit more.

You seem to have covered the specific crits the J's had. The biggest problem you'll have with GB (biggest I had when I used it, anyway) is samples. You could switch the snares a bit between the pop and rock kits. Automating compression and EQ can get you some nice sound variations through the track, but be careful with that. Also, take a backup before doing anything drastic.

My problem with it is the GB samples. Can't really help you much with that. Other than that, I like what I hear. Good stuff, good improvement.

[Supercussionist]

ive added a different rhythm at 4:13 and added another synth to balance out the panning. i also changed the eq's on the cyms, snare, toms, and bassD.

im thinking if i should submit this version

[MrSneak]

Wanted to slip in my support for your work on this track. I always liked the cave music from SD3.

I really, really like the arrangement. It captures the sort of meandering, laid back feel of the original. Your leading instruments sound a bit MIDI, which isn't always a bad thing, but I think in this case it may be hurting your mix.

The original track had a very authentic-sounding woodwind instrument of some kind for the lead, and while the shift in instrument choice brings your version to almost "Deus Ex" in style (a good thing IMO), it also feels like the budget dropped a little. Right now the only thing that sounds "real" is the drums (which sound excellent by the way). I wonder if you brought in a very realistic instrument as your lead, if perhaps the synth would be better interpreted as solid backup.

I'm not a musician, so I won't be offended if you find my suggestions to be silly. But as somebody who is very familiar with the source (I listen to the original on my car stereo during my work commute), I hope that my insight makes some sense, at least.

Thanks!

[Rozovian]

You know, I didn't pay any attention to it before, but the delay on the melody synth... COuld you move it a step either slower or faster, I think it's just playing on top of itself.

I think the master track needs more highs. Raise the 4th band EQ on the multiband compressor if you're using it. If not - USE IT.

3:12, don't hit the same crash over and over. Works for real, but not really with samples, it just becomes glaringly obvious that it's sampled. Check the other (non-electronic) drums kits for alternate crashes to use.

4:13 - great additions and changes. Aside from having the same chord progressions throughout, you've managed to reduce the repetitiveness of it. Kudos. It's still a bit repetitive as it's following the progression of the source, but it's not as annoying as it used to. I do recommend cutting up the source, replacing parts of it with original writing. Not just moving notes up and down. If you're too concerned about doing that, see if you can change the chord progression slightly, modifying it. Take a backup before doing any rewriting, tho.

Making good progress, man. Good job.

Please take the time to answer the questions in this post.

[Supercussionist]

i think i like the way everything is right now. all i need to do is fix the master track eq.

the crashes sound normal. after all i am a drummer and i know what i am doing with the drums. plus, i was not intending on making everything sound realistic, cause u know...the drum part is humanly impossible to play.

i think that all i have to do is raise the volume on the hi hat. cause it is that main sixteenth pulse throughout the song. idk if you guys have noticed, but the velocities on the high hat, when it is straight sixteenths, are emphasized on the down and up beats, instead of the off beats. i wanted to give it that moller technique feel.

i dont want to go tooo far away with the source, although many might say im still too close to the source i feel that if you switch things up, mainly the rhythm... you changed up quite a bit. i dont want chord changes. i want this to be to my taste, and i'd rather have suggestions be analytical rather than critical. i hope you guys know what i mean.

i want sound quality issues like EQ's instead of arrangement problems.

EDIT: i forgot to mention. i wanted this to be sort of "animusical" the animusic tunes have real drums as the only real instrument in most of their tracks, everything else is basically synth. plus, the real instrument(horns, woodwins, etc.) samples on GB are awful. i want to keep this, synth/real drums.

[DramaNoMore]

one of my favorite wips...

from one of my favorite soundtracks...