Liontamer Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Contact Information * Doctor Attitude * Christopher Rose * Karisu06@gmail.com * www.myspace.com/leopardinprint or www.doctorattitude.newgrounds.com * User ID Number 24631 Submission Information * Title : Wave Rip * (You can download directly from the side; if you need me to upload it directly to a storage server let me know but I'm sure that should work just fine.) * Super Mario 64 * Dire Dire Docks (Yes another Dire Dire Docks remix, haha) * This track was always one of my favorites. Interestingly enough, Liquid Mario, one of the old school OCRemixes is a track that really got me thinking about producing my own music, and really was one of my "Rock the fuck out" tunes for quite some time. Another reason for the remix, is after learning old VG tunes on keyboard I started improving over the progression with the melody and decided maybe I would give a pseudo jazz rendition a go, because I'd never seen one. ----------------------------------------------------- http://www.zophar.net/download_file/12246 - 09 "Dire, Dire Docks" Fairly good, interpretive ideas here, just wish this was more cohesive. A few of the sounds chosen sounded on the cheap side, like the e-piano first used at :15. I liked the instrumental variation/changeup at 1:04, but the beats added in at 1:16 didn't feel like a good fit. They were flimsy and didn't really make for a good texture with the rest of the sounds. I did like the melodic variation at 1:40. Leaving the beats carrying the track from 2:08-2:22 wasn't clicking either; the writing is fine, but the sound choices need some rethinking. Less so for 2:37-2:51, but those beats still need some meat on 'em. I liked the interpretive e-piano countermelody brought in at 3:05. The melody was a little too quiet there though and mudded up a bit. But yeah, short and sweet, I'm liking most of the ideas. Some of the interpretive ideas in the arrangement felt a little meandering, but I wouldn't change much, if anything, of the arrangement. IMO, you've just gotta polish up the sound choices and production of the final product to make the most of the writing and dynamics in the composition. This would have made it 5 or 6 years ago, but you've gotta go a bit further now. Don't give up on this one, Christopher; see what further advice you can get on this one from the community here and resubmit this. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishy Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Things started okay, but it becomes evident production is an issue early on. 1:04 was very empty and dry. Sounding like keyboard plonking. The beats that came in were jarring. They were swung too much and felt out of time with the track. The snare/clap thing was hitting too often, making the beat quite hard to follow. Again at 2:38, its just drum sounds being hit fast with a lot of swing, doesn't do the track any favours. The quality of the sounds is varied. Some of the keyboards are great, but stuff like the drums and strings sound really thin or cheap. I think you need to tone down the swing, and try and make everything a little tighter. 2:09 was supposed to be jazzy, but because it didn't fit the drums, it sounded really sloppy. Make sure all the intruments are in sync. You might want to experiment with some new drum sounds and patterns too. Like Larry said, the arrangement ideas themselves aren't bad, its the execution really letting it down. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zykO Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 this actually had a ton of potential... i liked the intro... fairly interpretive ideas throughout but the momentum sort of dies out when the drums come in. the rhythm itself is fine but those drums need a facelift. they're really not able to carry the entire track for so long of stretches. the lead work is nice when it is there but it doesn't have much supporting it while the drums overpower everything else. this needs work; see if you can work on getting the drumwork to gel better with your track. just so you know, the ep is the best part of this... and your ending is awesome but leading up to it, there is too much lackluster production to work. resubmit this when you're done tweaking it. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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