Plazmataz Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I don't think it needs much explaining. Feedback would be super delicious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 My first thought was that this mix sounds rather low-fi - that of course changes as the track develops. The track is relatively enjoyable. It has a good sound to it. The instrument choice is nice. Hmm, I think my first thought is that the instruments don't fall well into the "space". You have a percussion-like beat in the background that fades in and fades out, for example - when it's at its full volume, it still sounds very up-front and has a lot of presence. It also fades out. What happens then is that I'm not really sure what the story is supposed to be - is it instruments playing in a chamber while the guy playing the percussion kind of moves around? I like the clean guitar that introduces the song, as well as the piano. I think they are well-placed. There's an electric guitar that sounds a bit too sharp for my taste - in addition, there's some kind of explosion that happens in the introduction and I'm not sure it fits. The other issue I have is thematic - the same motif is repeated many times throughout the song. In fact, it's the only prominent theme in the song. I think some more variety will benefit the song greatly. Anyway, that's my quick take on it. Good work so far, keep working on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plazmataz Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 I had no "story" in mind. The confusion only stems from the fact that I don't think things through when I put songs together. How would you recommend this be repaired? And unfortunately, the source only gave me one theme to work with as far as a second melody goes. That would leave me having to compose a new one, and I can't compose anything original worth a damn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plazmataz Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 No one else has anything to say? Advice... please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannthr Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I had no "story" in mind. The confusion only stems from the fact that I don't think things through when I put songs together. How would you recommend this be repaired? If you want to do something differently, man, there's only one thing to do... Simply change by, you know, looking at the man in the mirror and making the change: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtGD6t75HS8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plazmataz Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 This has nothing to do with... anything really. At any rate, thanks for all the advice to the one person who gave me any. At least Arcana was paying attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-MZ- Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 The electric guitar near the end sounds a bit "harsh" and clashes with the rest of the tune IMO. Besides that, and the weird percussive stuff in the beginning, I think this could make it. No harm in sending it to the panel if you think it's ready though. They'll do a better job of critiquing it then I can. Also, it's bad practice to expect much activity here. You should try #orcwip if you want quick responses. That's always been my experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 I had no "story" in mind. The confusion only stems from the fact that I don't think things through when I put songs together. How would you recommend this be repaired?And unfortunately, the source only gave me one theme to work with as far as a second melody goes. That would leave me having to compose a new one, and I can't compose anything original worth a damn. I gave some ideas in my opening post about what you can do about your story. The instruments as mentioned don't sound like they're in the same space - you may want to give them a particular space to put them in and match the reverb and the levels accordingly. Instead of fade-outs on the percussion, have it thin out and stop. Things like that. You may think that you can't compose anything original but I think that this piece needs more. Add more variations. Make it culminate into something. I personally don't believe that this will make it past the judges yet, it still needs some fine-tuning. The track isn't bad but could use more to maintain the interest level with the listener. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dafydd Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Electric guitars sound fake, and I don't like the kind of sound they make either. Chords from about a quarter in has a lot of low notes that clash simply because they're low. I for one like the percussion. The acoustic guitar/piano part was very nice. I thought the guitars were Morricone-esque from the very start, but during the 3rd quarter of the mix or so it felt like it was very intentional. Fun Some real guitars wouldn't hurt. Probably doesn't help I recognize these patches... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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