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Lament of Highborne


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If you want to keep the simple musical structure of the project, I suggest that you expand the sound scape by adding several background and ambient elements.

If you want to keep the current (simpler) sound scape, I recommend that you become more familiar with the harmonic structures of the source and use that to add more melodic and harmonic variety.

Or, if you are up to the challenge, do both. Just some thoughts.

:-D

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Basically, since you are working with a relatively simple source, you can either try to expand the sound scape like "No Such Thing As The Promised Land" by SGX and sephire or expand the melodic elements more like TheWingless did with "All the World in One Girl." I know this advice is somewhat abstract, but the idea is to expand a simple source to something that can be submitted to the judges panel and pass. Good luck.

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Okay, as far as ambiant sounds go, this isn't bad at the beginning. Though I would lose the drum (and as a drummer that hurts to say) It's not really fitting because it comes in on a very predictable time/note and that's just how it's gotta be.

I could see a really need thing being to get some pad sounds and play the melody through them in addition to what you have leading.

Remember, the ambiance is there more or less to fill the space, you'll want to tone it down when you have the main thing we're listening to coming in.

Length and work: This is 4 minutes long, and only really about 30 seconds of lament. It's pretty repetitive and at that length, it can't get by on atmosphere alone. It's going to take a lot in the way of original material. I'm not a fan of ambiance, so I don't really know where to tell you to go if that's what you want to pursue. I just don't see the genre in general with much interest. I love some of the things that can be done to really expand and change a sound scape. But just... more.

Also, you're not getting much feedback likely because this is so simple there isn't much to say about it, very simple, 4 maybe 5 tracks total, not much variation. I do still hope this helps.

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hewhoisiam (I hate trying to spell your name on memory, it's like a damn tongue twister:evil:) is right with his critique. The drum/shaker thing should probably go. The arrangement is pretty repetitive and simple, which is not a bad thing, but tough to say much about :-/ I would add changes throughout, to keep the track from sounding like it's a min long...but on repeat. Maybe adding some pads or a solo vocal harmony in some spots would help create a feeling of progression through the song. I DO like the use of the rainfall patch throughout, as it gives the track a little life. Also, I would ask you not to submit a track like your first rendition for feedback. Without any backing melody or rhythm to support it, there's NO way to give a proper feedback. You will most likely receive the same response that you did ("did you upload it wrong?") every time you do. Anyways, good luck with it and just keep workin at it ;-)

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The pads are an improvement, but they're going to need a lot of work. I see a much longer attack, and some distortion/funky effects on them going a long way. Also, for pure creepy, they could use some detune. Now, detuned in the synth is a lot different than wrong notes. A few wrong notes, transition notes, notes not on chords is one thing, this has got areas where the chords just feel wrong. (not much of an expert on this, sorry)

Now it's time to add variation as well. Move the melody up and down octaves, move it to new instruments that are similar, but different enough to keep interest. Same goes with the chords, they need to change instruments or effects throughout this piece so it's not so static. Going to take a lot of work because of the nature of the beast, but this is a major improvement.

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When you're adding a beat to something, it's actually moving away from an ambiance and towrds an actual song. If you like that groove, do something with it, add a bassline, do something fun :-)

I tend to think that almost nothing can loop an entire song and sound good. The drum groove is a nice touch, a new direction. But it can't just clip loop through the whole song.

You're popping out an update here and a pretty quick pace, slow down, look at the critiques and decide if the changes you make are IMPROVING the song, or just making it different. I hear a lot of different tracks here, but not tons in the way of improvement. Use some of the fine examples of ambient tunes here on OCR to help you. This guy: http://ocremix.org/artist/4283/children-of-the-monkey-machine is a good one. Like I say, it's not really my style...

http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01028/

Hope that helps.

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Agreed hewhosnameicannotsay . These are all simple additions that shouldn't need to be critiqued at every turn. In this latest edition, the drums seem out of time with the rest of the track. I get the feeling that you didn't set a tempo map at all and are trying to over lay a simple pattern over the same track you posted 3 hours ago. Also, the verb (and what I fear may be an echo) on the snare has gotta go. The kick setting might work, but the rest just seem very amateurish, and I know that there is a forum on this site dedicated to better free VST plug-ins for whatever software you're using (sounds like FL). It's cool to be excited about getting feedback on your new song (I'm the worst with it:oops:), but this is a little over the top, and I'm not feeling the love here:neutral:. You've gotten consistent feedback on your posts, which is pretty good if you take a look in these forums, but haven't really responded to them. I won't say anything else about it, as it's your choice on your method of sharing. To conclude, I would go shopping for some new VST's and implement some good change-ups/revisions to the track, which has been getting progressively better since you started. Good luck:-)

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:lmassoff: Okay, the name. I thought I was cleaver at the time...

He

Who

Is

I

Am

Just no punctuation. Once you know the words it isn't nearly as hard. If'n I could go back and change it, I might pick something a tad simpler. Sadly can't change the names on OCR... But there you have it. And now you know it, just no spaces and no caps. I lol'd :mrgreen:

On a note related to the track, going here: http://www.kvraudio.com/get.php might yield some ideas. I know I really want to play with CYGNUS. It's free and creates ambient noises. But they're much more space like, but it's got a lot of flexibility (so I'm told)

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Can change names... Just64Helpin became JH Sounds and it reflected in all his old posts. And I meant your real name dude. Like me Chris, you....Jane? lol j/k I know that it's a full phrase mashed together, it's actually the words themselves that get jumbled when I try to think and type them, but I'm starting to remember. Till the next time we meet He-a-who-is-he-man:-)

Did a little thread searching for both of you-

Steve (good save bro:-) ) CHANGE NAME THREAD

Mizu- PLUG-IN THREAD

GENERAL DAW GUIDE

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I'm keeping my name, you may call me Steve if you choose. Can't garontee the effiktevnezz of it. Tiny, tiny name is tiny. I'm not changing my name cause I still think it's cleaver. When I said that earlier, I have been to forums that had open name changes. I was going to wear a comedy tag around if OCR allowed it.

NOThewhoisiam :mrgreen:

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Well, now that's some ambiance that I can get behind. It sounds full. As far as just the ambiance goes.

It still stutters a bit in places where that low synth cuts out, some secondary and tertiary effects and sounds would help smooth that out.

Repetition, repetition, repetition. Too much of it for my taste in this. I'd advise you in a piece like this to check out some of the effects and ideas used on the DOOM soundtrack done by OCR. As well as monkey machine stuff. I'm not a sound designer, but to me it sounds like TONS of automation. And I really don't hear automation in this. We're talking LOOOOOOONG evolving effects here. A sound that changes and changes, filters, cuts, effects, crushes, distortion, tubes, phasers, flangers, compressors. Tons of stuff.

Did you look at Cygnus like I pointed out? It does a good job with ambient noises, but I haven't figured out how to work it into anything I'm doing. Maybe you can get something you like with it.

EDIT: That must have been someone else I suggested it to... anyway, it's here http://www.kvraudio.com/get.php?mode=results&st=f&q=cyg and free.

EDITEDIT: Here's it actually working:

EDITEDITEDIT: Forgot link in last edit:

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