Liontamer Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Hello Larry, Thank you for taking the time to review my song. If it's not too much of a bother.. I have finished a nice mix of the Yoshi's Island theme music. If you have some time, maybe you'll find this one more to your liking. ReMixer name: Paper Sailboat Name: Christopher Paine Email: chris.paine@gmail.com Website(s): www.thesixtyone.com/papersailboat, or www.papersailboat.ca User ID: 30822 Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island (SNES) Yoshi's Island Title Theme (Garden of Peril remix) Composed by Koji Kondo Thanks! Christopher ------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV8WyFhQtvI - "Yoshi's Island" :30's section sounded cramped, with something flooding the low end, especially in the left channel. Some beats came in at 1:00 that sounded sampled. The light electro-synth on counter-melody at 1:20 had several dissonant phrases that didn't make any sense; also, I can see how that was derived from the ethnic countermelody of the original. The track coasted for quite a while, from 1:00-2:51, with no melodic activity. Not sure why, but where's the beef? Gotta give some more substance somewhere beyond using the countermelody for nearly 2 minutes with basically nothing else going on. 2:51 finally went back to the source (as well as using the water & nature SFX directly sampled from the source tune's intro). 3:39 brought back those sampled beats to move things forward, but the ideas from before were being retread. The textures throughout the mix weren't bad overall, but the basic structure here was using just very brief melodic passages of the source, then dropping that out and coasting for a while. The fullest sections sounded very crowded & muffled, and the arrangement didn't feel substantive enough. And a random shot of light drums at 5:39...oooook. I'd recommending cleaning up the muddier sections, seeing what other references you can add to the more minimalist sections to tie this to the original more strongly, and less wholesale rehashing of the prior ideas for the last couple of minutes (otherwise it's hard to justify nearly 6 minutes of music). Not a bad start. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Yeah this kind of gets overbearing, especially in the mid- and low-end. I can understand what you're trying to do; evolving textures and all that; the problem is that your evolving textures have very little to do with the source music and they take up the majority of your piece. I think this needs more melodic sections to keep it on track. Soundscape is weird; lots of muffled, boomy sounds. Might want to adjust some EQ and levels. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I definitely like what you're trying to do here. Some nice ideas for textures and mood. The only problem here is that the execution is a bit lacking, especially as far as OCR is concerned. You need to present some more of the source material, put your own spin on it but keep it fairly recognizable. Right now your (quite nice) soundscapes and beats take up most of the space. The mix is quite bass heavy, pushing that back a bit could be a good idea because it gets a bit too hot at times. Your evolving textrues are nice but the resonance seems really high and they get a bit too loud. Try evening the soundfield out, get some balance. Overall I like your approach but you need to polish this a bit more, especially in terms of using the source material. Good luck! NO(resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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