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I laughed at that intro (but anyways, I laugh at everything)! ;P I'm just not sure if it works with your track. It has a nice hip-hop feel to it btw, and I like the way you control the drums. Like the break at 2:03, and the piano sounds quite good too.

But still I think it lacks some interpretation, and something else to fill the soundscape, maybe a nice lead melody. Even though hip-hop's supposed to have an harmony that repeats exhaustively, I think this is a bit too much. You might want to make sure there's enough interesting things going on besides that ;D

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