*NO* Chrono Cross 'Where Force Stood Still' *RESUB*

[GrayLightning]

Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=56127

ReMixer name: Rexy

Real name: Bev Wooff

Email: bev.wooff@gmail.com

OCRemix user ID: 7528

REMIX INFO:

Remix title: "Where Force Stood Still (Version 2.0)

Game covered: Chrono Cross

Individual song covered: Frozen Flame

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Whew, again I want to pass your thanks towards the past variation on the track. Mind you, even though you scared the crap out of me with 4 NO's I still felt that this'll stand a better chance against the panel than the other two submissions there at this moment in time.

So anyway, I managed to follow your input relating to the track. So much has been done in the mix to make this stand out from the original - softer dynamics (and soundfont, may I add), use of a foot pedal I wired in not too long ago for sustain control, a better developed left hand performance, a moderate reverb setting (all thanks to the conflicts between Gray and Compyfox), and just basically... a more fluent performance than what the original version had down, I assure you.

Well I think that's about it when going through this mix. Should you want yet another revision out of this if it doesn't come through you'd have to wait a few months before the college semester starts again. But I still think that I preferred this over the original take, in all honesty.

Thanks again for your time, and may the "force" be with you.

Peace out,

-Rexy-

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[Liontamer]

Whereas I think Bev's orchestral pieces need more work overall in the execution, her solo piano stuff tends to be stronger. I don't mind the timing being a bit off as it relates to my decision. Though I nitpick over it, it was nothing major overall, and, agreeing with Gray in conversation we had about this one, I also felt it lended humanity to the piece.

Some quick fix things: There was an awkward note at 2:15. There were some unnatural aburpt note cutoffs at 3:20 & 3:24 that need to be smoothed out also.

I felt much of the left-hand activity was simplistic enough where it didn't fill up the space much. Of course, the left-hand actitivy was gonna be a repeat issue since the composition was basically the same. My major issue with the piece though, which may come across as subjective, but which I felt ultimately proved too much of a detriment to merely be subjective, was that the texture was awfully sparse. Agreeing with DarkeSword's vote on the previous version, I could see how the relative emptyness of the composition could discourage other Js as well.

The track may simply need more sustain going on to create a fuller sound in order to compensate for any thinness in the performance, although the bass levels were a bit flooded to begin with, so it's a delicate operation. I hope others have some good suggestions here on how to tweak the production on that level.

I dunno why the track sounded thinner here, but comparing the new version versus the old, that was indeed the case. The arrangement and performance are certainly on point for me, but I need a bit more tweaking for the YES. I think making the composition itself more intricate would also help, but it may be an impractical suggestion at this point. No qualms whatsoever if this passes.

NO (borderline/resubmit)

[Sam Ascher-Weiss]

There are many things wrong with this mix.

You start off with a bunch of 1 5 1 stuff in the left hand and simple chords in the right hand. The Eb Ab one [spells out a minor 7th when combined with the bass] sounds nice. Then you have your left hand playing root chord chord chord chord chord [all 2 note chords outlining triads] with a simple version of the melody in the right hand featuring the ocassional partial triad.

At 1:00 you have a repetitive figure in the left hand once again consisting mostly of triad fragments. There is alot of sloppiness in the right hand here. Strangely placed accents and confused inapropriate phrasing. At 1:50 you take the 1 5 1 5 1 stuff to the extreme. This creates an incredibly bland feel. Then come some choppy sounding stuttered fifths. You continue to use these stuttered chords throughout the remainder of the piece. If you're going to use stuttered chords you must gain enough wrist strength/control to keep them from sounding so jarring. Either that or adjust the velocities after your performance.

There are hardly any non triad based chords in the entire mix. The only exceptions are: at the beginning F-7 at 0:27 Csus at 1:04 Fsus2 at 3:17 Bbadd9 and at 3:56 C7b9. That's only five non triad chords in five minutes. Learn to use more than just triads especially when the source tune is this rich harmonically and find new ways to employ your left hand. You could have it play patterns that descend repeatedly rather than ones that primarily move up and then down again. You could also have it play figures that evolve as they progress rather than repeating the same pattern over every chord change until the next figure begins.

There is nothing I can find in this mix that would make me give it a yes so I have to say

NO

Keep at it. You have a very expressive playing style that could work great if applied more effectively.

[Vig]

That's only five non triad chords in five minutes. Learn to use more than just triads especially when the source tune is this rich harmonically and find new ways to employ your left hand

Now the kids today they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. They're a hippin' and a hoppin' and a bippin' and a boppin', and they dont know what the jazz, is all about, ya see!?

[GrayLightning]

Now the kids today they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. They're a hippin' and a hoppin' and a bippin' and a boppin', and they dont know what the jazz, is all about, ya see!?

Tell that to Larry.

[Liontamer]

Now the kids today they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. They're a hippin' and a hoppin' and a bippin' and a boppin', and they dont know what the jazz, is all about, ya see!?

Tell that to Larry.

Hahaha! Got the Simpsons on loop I see.

[danny B]

ALL OF THIS FOOLISH BANTER ASIDE,

I think there's a lot of interesting ideas here. Of course, Shnabubula's dissection has pinpointed all my objections with staggering accuracy. I feel no need to reiterate them. I can't compare with his piano-ness!

NO

-D

[Harmony]

First thing that strikes me is the piano’s EQ. To give this piano a brighter and more open sound without taking away any of the darkness, try adjusting the EQ by increasing the 3-7kHz range and slightly decreasing the 600Hz range. It’s not crucial to my decision but tweaking the EQ can be an important affair for solo piano.

The theme is well incorporated and expressively interpreted. The performance certainly has a human touch to it in terms of tempo and timing. I’ve got issue with some of the note velocities however. The piece sounds like it was played on a partially or unweighted keyboard, causing some of the notes to be played unnaturally loud or soft. Hey, not all of us have the luxury of a weighted keyboard but if you’re without one that just means you’ll have to spend some time editing velocities post-performance.

Also, the sustain doesn’t feel quite right in a few parts. Points like 3:22 have an unnatural choppy feel and the sustain on sections like 3:31-3:40 allows chords to bleed together that really shouldn’t. That pedal of yours should help so keep practicing with it.

Larry and Shna covered most of the other issues. I don’t feel that the mix is detrimentally sparse but more interesting composition for the left hand would certainly make for a more rich texture.

Overall though this is an enjoyable piece Bev. A little more work here and there would do heaps of good.

NO (Please Resubmit)