jordanrooben Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 http://www.box.net/shared/kv2mp8nj0g6sof2479dd I think I'm getting better with these remixes. Can someone come and prove me wrong so I can really get better? Edit 1: Here's a link to the new version: http://www.box.net/s/xa6zi0icqzagt4rynxd2 Changes: - Rewrote the drums and chords to 3/4 - Improved the chord structure - Added depth to the instruments in the chord structure - Added an arpeggio based off of the chords - Changed some instruments in the melody - Changed the intro to be more gradual - Moved the original intro to the middle as an interlude - Focused more strongly on the actual Zelda's Lullaby melody and removed the cut and paste work Edit 2: New Version: http://www.box.com/s/620m56lad31akkf3djmf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NegimaSonic Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 [i'm not one of those guys who can give you advice on your music but] Something is wrong with the link you posted. The only thing that shows up is: "Please log in to access Box Use the login form to the right to access your files. Don't have a Box account yet? Sign up for free." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garpocalypse Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Some of the best advice I ever got on one of my remixes went something like this. "Get a tindeck or soundcloud account, if people have to click more than once to hear your song they get put off." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phonetic Hero Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Some of the best advice I ever got on one of my remixes went something like this."Get a tindeck or soundcloud account, if people have to click more than once to hear your song they get put off." Guilty. BUT, Box works just fine, if you know how to use it. Click "File Options" and go to Share > Get link to file; copy the link and paste it here, that's it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Alright, fixed. I didn't know you had to click the share button (didn't even see it at first). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NegimaSonic Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 well it is interesting at least. I wasn't really hearing the source at all though until like half of the song had passed. Anyway, I leave you to the real music people now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 well it is interesting at least. I wasn't really hearing the source at all though until like half of the song had passed. Anyway, I leave you to the real music people now. Yeah, it's a short melody and i'm still learning how to balance the repetition. Thanks for the comment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Please, someone show me what I can do to make this better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 ZL is in 3/4, so most of your writing has the wrong length to fit. Yes, you can use multiple time signatures, but it takes a bit of practice and understanding of time signatures and bar lengths to make it work. Here... it doesn't. Either adapt the ZL melody to 4/4 (you have a pretty cool drum rhythm) or rewrite the track to fit 3/4. The thick texture pad you have in the background sometimes clashes with the melody, already at 0:24 you've got some weird harmonies going on just between those two. Of course you can write different chords for the track, but the chords should still support the melody - the chords should contain the important melody notes. It makes for a more harmonious track. And then there's the mixing. Your lead is way louder than anything else. While the lead ought to be the foreground instrument in a track, this is too much. Tone it down until it's just a touch louder than the others. Think about how loud the instruments should be, study some well mixed tracks for reference. There's some crits for you to work on. Good luck with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 ZL is in 3/4, so most of your writing has the wrong length to fit. Yes, you can use multiple time signatures, but it takes a bit of practice and understanding of time signatures and bar lengths to make it work. Here... it doesn't. Either adapt the ZL melody to 4/4 (you have a pretty cool drum rhythm) or rewrite the track to fit 3/4.The thick texture pad you have in the background sometimes clashes with the melody, already at 0:24 you've got some weird harmonies going on just between those two. Of course you can write different chords for the track, but the chords should still support the melody - the chords should contain the important melody notes. It makes for a more harmonious track. And then there's the mixing. Your lead is way louder than anything else. While the lead ought to be the foreground instrument in a track, this is too much. Tone it down until it's just a touch louder than the others. Think about how loud the instruments should be, study some well mixed tracks for reference. There's some crits for you to work on. Good luck with it. Thank you very much for the advice. I listened to it again, and I really don't know how I missed the clashing time signatures. *Sigh* Anyway, a new version is up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted December 3, 2011 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 Alright guys, there's a new version. I think this is much better than the last one. Keep those reviews coming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monobrow Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Hey, listening to the updated version. First impression... I like your highhat pattern, but the snare hit and kick is kind of drab and it too slow in comparison. I think you should see if you can make a beat that's a bit faster paced, and play w/ your bass and drumwork more. Play the two off each other, so the notes aren't so long and spread out. Your initial arpeggiation/delayed tinkly notes are kind of off key from your melody when it comes in. The two don't feel like they should be in the same song together. I obviously recognize the lullaby theme playing in the melody, but you really need to work on lining up your chord structures of your accompaniment to make the notes not sound off when everything is playing together. I'll mention again about the bass, don't be afraid to try to be more complex w/ your bass writing, notes w/in the chord your melody is implying are safe. You can even have a bass playing quarter or half notes, and still be safe, instead of lots of whole notes that I hear right now. Overall the mix is very sparse and thin, it needs to sound fuller. Just so you can can know what I'm talking about w/ those chords, 3:04 is a good example. The chords are very dissonant (don't sound pleasing, don't feel like they fit together), and do not gel at all w/ the melody you have playing. Work on getting those pads sounding like they belong in the same song. If you have to, examine a midi of the lullaby theme for reference of the chords in the song. Also, you generally want these four-five elements playing together through most of the song, give or take for what you're going (and atmosphere). Drums, bass, melody, chords, rhythm... Try to have an instrument (or instruments) play all these at the same time, and see what happens. Try to have all the notes in the chords or arpeggiations go up and down the same scale your melody is playing in, and same w/ bass, and try to have the drums create a rhythm for your bass and any rhythmic notes to follow. In other words, you are using each instrument to communicate a whole, something that is more than a sum of it's parts. They all relate to each other in some way, and the key is getting them to play their separate parts, but add to/compliment/fulfill a role vs. each other (and create music). This is all just for future reference, I'm sorry if I sound harsh Also a good way to do this is to listen to a professional song you're familiar w/, and a sound you are going for... Try to emulate that sound as best you can, notice how they write their drums, utilize their bass, establish rhythm, melody, and harmony. Play around w/ these. Good luck and feel free to post more revisions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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