OMGitslewis Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 So I have been fiddling round with this for a while now. Got a bit of writers block so I decided to post it and get some feedback from you guys The track is Route One for the 2nd gen Pokemon games. ORIGINAL REMIX Mk. IMk. IIMk. IIIMk. IV Thank you for reading and do feel free to comment, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeastarb Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 It was really nice to listen to! There should be more!! 1:44 is just too short. The part at 0:18 gives you a really nice backing track. I also like what you did with the part from 0:00 to 0:18; it's a good introduction to the sound and feel of the track. I think it would do good though to throw some more of the source melody (with some variations of course) in though because, for a while, I wasn't sure if I had the right link or not. I'm excited to hear what gets posted next! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelPanic Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 I agree with Mike all the way, and also you may want to lower the reverb and lower your pads/pianos. The song sounded like it just started, I want more! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted July 24, 2012 Author Share Posted July 24, 2012 I agree with Mike all the way, and also you may want to lower the reverb and lower your pads/pianos. The song sounded like it just started, I want more! Noted . And lower the volume on pads and piano you say? And yeah, just trying to figure out the arrangement at the minute. Do you guys think I should try and get the other part of the source file in somehow?, Because I don't think it fits that well unless i find a way. :\ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeastarb Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I definitely think you should try to fit it in. It doesn't have to be note for note, or even have the same rhythm though. Between 0:35 and 0:48 (where you have the melody line come in kind of quietly) the song starts to build some energy. At 0:48 there's an opportunity to transition the chords to something new/different where you could fit a new phrase that has the other part of the melody in it. I've been in your position before where I've written something but it's short, and I feel like things just won't fit into what I already have. What happened with my song was that I got used to how the unfinished song sounded and because of that, anything I did to it sounded "wrong". To fix that, I had to force myself to change it and keep that change (even though I didn't like it). Eventually after to listening to it a bunch, that change became normal to me and it didn't seem so wrong anymore. It wasn't the best thing ever but, instead of thinking "This doesn't fit, it shouldn't be there", it turned into thinking "Ok, the song goes this way but, I could tweak [X], and do [Y], and move [Z] and it will sound better". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 MK II https://soundcloud.com/little_bit/that-one-route-mk-ii Sounding quite rough at the moment but I really want to try and get the arrangement down first so the mix is really quite muddy imo at the moment. Still think its rather short. And please do tell me what you think about the intro haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeastarb Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I like the intro! It does a lot to set the mood and I think it's a really nice touch. I would take out the music from it though and keep it with just the voices and swirling air. Something about the town music is just a little too... energetic for the rest of the track, if that makes sense. I really like the new instrument at 0:53, its the little things that make a track. Also, way to go on fitting in the melody! That's such a good addition and you did it perfectly. It's still a little short but, you've got so much more content now than you did originally. Now, what I'm left craving is just a little more variety. At 1:40 I think you have a lot of room to work, tinker, and create. You've got the melody (and source) fresh in someones mind. Now cut it, fold it, tear it, and glue it back together and show us just how much better it can be from the original! I know you've got the skill set to do it so, don't be afraid! I'm really impressed to see so much change from version 1 to version 2 and it makes me even more excited to see what comes next. Also, just to comment again, I really like the idea of the intro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evory Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I have to say I love the piano track The instrument that comes in at 0:53 though seems to clash a little with the piano register, although the melodic idea is nice. I felt that once the Route 1 melody came in in its entirety you could have done a little more to push the mix just that last step up, for example the B in the bass at 1:35, I was hoping for a more gratifying harmony based on the tonic, right now it just feels like there's something missing. Trying for less of a countermelody than a harmonic anchor is what I'd suggest, and maybe the strings could maybe come out a little more. The last bit (before the footsteps) sounds really nice though, I really like the chord sequence you've got there, and the instrument at 2:45 is absolutely perfect. I'm a little split on the opening/ending though, I'm fine with the beginning, but the ending is a little too disjointed from the overall mood of the piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electric concerto Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Production aside, this is a very well done arrangement. Only complaint I have is the bass in some places is compositionally off, like bad notes (1:26). Other than that, I can't wait to hear how this comes out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 Production aside, this is a very well done arrangement. Only complaint I have is the bass in some places is compositionally off, like bad notes (1:26). Other than that, I can't wait to hear how this comes out! Yeah, I am having a bit of difficulty with the bass at the moment, just can't quite find the right bass line to fit the melody, I will keep playing around with it and see what I can create . I felt that once the Route 1 melody came in in its entirety you could have done a little more to push the mix just that last step up, for example the B in the bass at 1:35, I was hoping for a more gratifying harmony based on the tonic, right now it just feels like there's something missing. Trying for less of a countermelody than a harmonic anchor is what I'd suggest, and maybe the strings could maybe come out a little more.I'm a little split on the opening/ending though, I'm fine with the beginning, but the ending is a little too disjointed from the overall mood of the piece. So bass to be improved it seems. Think I may remove the end then, I was also thinking to myself the wind gives it a rather dark sound, whereas the song is quite chirpy. I may change the wind sample to a more happier sound. Now, what I'm left craving is just a little more variety. At 1:40 I think you have a lot of room to work, tinker, and create. You've got the melody (and source) fresh in someones mind. Now cut it, fold it, tear it, and glue it back together and show us just how much better it can be from the original! I know you've got the skill set to do it so, don't be afraid! I shall start adding to it now then I guess haha, might make it a little longer as well . And with the intro I was going for the style that whenever you leave an area in Pokemon the last areas sound fades out and the new one begins. But if it doesn't fit in with the song I;ve made I shall take it out . Think this sums up most things then, and thanks a lot for all the feedback guys! I shall begin MK. III sometime tonight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OfficialJab Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Beginning sounds like South Park characters. Wicked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted August 3, 2012 Author Share Posted August 3, 2012 Beginning sounds like South Park characters. Wicked. Yeah, I realised this a few days ago haha. Completely accidental :') Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted August 6, 2012 Author Share Posted August 6, 2012 MK III Changes: Added own solo part during main theme. Made a little longer. Removed New Bark Town theme at start and ending all together. Changed some synths Brought forward Lead and Orchestra a little. I think the arrangement is done now I think, Unless you guys think its too short or doesn't have enough personal style, or if the solo doesn't fit. Also, the production isn't the best I don't think, I am still only beginning in the production side, so if you guys tell me what I have done right in this mix and what isn't so great that would be fantastic . I really wanna get the best mix possible out of this song as I believe its come along really nicely. TL;DR Feedback on arrangement and production will be extremely helpful! Then again, any feedback would be **EDIT** I forgot to change the bass in this mix, To my ears its seems to work with the new improv bit, but I guess you guys can tell me whether it still needs changing or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted August 8, 2012 Author Share Posted August 8, 2012 MK IV *UPDATED* So here it is, another new version in the space of a day! I currently can;t get this song out of my head, so I thought why not mix it while I still love it. As you can hear I have changed a few things since my last version and I also played around with the bass a little in this one. In my opinion I see this as nearly finished now, unless you guys can think of anything I need to change. Anyway, I would love to hear anyone's feedback, so ENJOY! *Edit*, fixed the bass up a bit and did some more EQing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelPanic Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Oh jeez this has come a long from where it started It sounds very nice, it sorta reminds of the Bit.Trip games but more ambient! I definitely think you need to raise the snare, and percussion in general. Along with that, we need some more variation. I think the Pokemon samples at the beginning are a little unnecessary. They don't detract from it, but it seems more coherent to not go from chip sounds to piano and percussion, rather than doing that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted August 8, 2012 Author Share Posted August 8, 2012 I definitely think you need to raise the snare, and percussion in general. Along with that, we need some more variation. Thanks for the feedback! And more variation in the percussion, or overall? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelPanic Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Percussion, the rest is nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 The intro until 0:18 should maybe be reworked. I feel like it doesn't quite match the feel of the song overall. It might make sense to the judges, I dunno. If I'm correct, you are generally using some sort of lo-fi effect on the drums for the most part, or at least using some sort of lo-fi EQ or samples. At 0:45, it would make good sense to bring in some stronger drums. When the piano is playing before then, the lo-fi drums make sense because they leave room for the piano to breathe. I agree, at 0:53 the triangle wave that comes in has too much in the mid frequencies and is interfering with the piano's naturally wide frequency range. Try high passing it just a little bit, and possibly lowering the mix level about 2%. How it ends at 1:03, however, is quite fitting. Do a little experiment and up the decay some on the reverb and see how it works out. Or, alternatively, you could export a wav file of that triangle wave sequence only and I'll apply my own reverb and send it back for you to see what my go at it would sound like. It really sounds like a long decay at 1:03 would create a really awesome feel. At 1:03, maybe you could even increase the volume of that cymbal with an extra long decay to lead into that breakdown section. At 1:06 - 1:18, the sweeps are quite nice. If you haven't already, try experimenting with some jazz chords on the sweeps. For example, an Fadd2 third inversion in whatever key fits this song (Fadd2 third inversion is C-F-G-A). Chords like those would fit the sweep pad really well. At 1:22 - 1:56, maybe you can change up the lo-fi drums and have a variant in which you have soft snares with a high decay reverb with, maybe, a 70-30 wet-dry ratio. At 1:56 - 2:15, you can transition into more powerful drums there too, if you want. And ending that section by putting another cymbal with a high decay reverb at 2:15 would also work nicely. At 2:52, the portamento triangle wave lead is really high. Maybe you could add a subtle low pass filter on it? There and any other instances. 3:01 could have a smoother lead in, since I don't think a lead with such a contrasting volume would be expected in a section like that. Maybe you can fade in a quarter-measure intro sequence? The ending is actually a bit cheesy, though. But you could make it work by, perhaps, adding some upper harmonies to the lead starting at the last three notes. Maybe a note a fourth up, then a major third, then a major second, then a major third? The second and third note would add up to be the same length as the second note in the lead. The fourth note should be short, but with a good decay on the reverb, it should have a nice tail at the end. Because of the really cool ideas on this, I'm wondering what DAW you use. I would love to collaborate on this, regardless. xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGitslewis Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 The intro until 0:18 should maybe be reworked. I feel like it doesn't quite match the feel of the song overall. It might make sense to the judges, I dunno.If I'm correct, you are generally using some sort of lo-fi effect on the drums for the most part, or at least using some sort of lo-fi EQ or samples. At 0:45, it would make good sense to bring in some stronger drums. When the piano is playing before then, the lo-fi drums make sense because they leave room for the piano to breathe.... Thanks for the quality feedback , I shall try and take everything into account. And my DAW is Ableton Live at the moment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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