Jet Grind Radio - "Manual Toothbrush" (Electric Toothbrush - Toronto)

[Jetlion]

Hi all,

It's been a LONG time I did not post something here. Sorry for that...

Anyway here is a piece I consider almost finished, but I am still not quite sure if it is good enough to be submitted.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

It is a piece from the Dreamcast classic Jet Set Radio/Jet Grind Radio: Electric Toothbrush by Toronto.

As a reminder, here is a link to the original:

And here is my version:

Hope you enjoy.

Looking forward to your feedback.

Thank you.

[Rukunetsu]

aaaah you beat me to it! Nice work here though, keeping the styling of the original but switching it up just enough to make it your own.

: o Personally though, I found the "da-da's" to be a bit much in the long term (perhaps making them a little more subtle could aid with that) but their initial appearance was a nice touch. Also - No expert here but should you want to submit this perhaps you could try adding an additional solo or harmonic element to compliment this. Nothing overly complex but just something to flesh it out a bit more...maybe subtle bells or an arp perhaps. I know ETB isn't the most complex piece, but that in itself leaves room for you to add/experiment a bit more : ).

[Jetlion]

Thank you for your attention and feedback. They are most appreciated.

You are right, the 'Ta-da's may get boring. I should have realized that as I personally HATE vocals in VG remixes But technically, they are not really vocals so... Anyway, I think I will cut them from the last bars or something.

When you said 'arp', did you mean like the 'harp' instrument or an arpeggiated theme?

Thank you again. And if anyone else got something to say, I am all ears

[Rukunetsu]

When you said 'arp', did you mean like the 'harp' instrument or an arpeggiated theme?

The latter : ) - : o although the 'arp' could consist of a 'harp' should you desire haha.

[Jetlion]

OK great. I am working on a little something then, maybe not as repetitive as an arp.

Another question if you do not mind. Any ideas on making my 'Ta-da's' subtler, as you suggested? For now, I just plan to make them less present by removing them at the end (and replacing them with the arp).

Thank you again. It is very helpful to have other pairs of ears to evaluate your work.

[Rukunetsu]

Haha no problem - though I don't feel I'm nearly good enough to give any type of proper evaluation. That said, I'd simply say the Ta-Da's could become more subtle (and could actually stay in the song) with the addition of another melodic element. : o perhaps the addition of some type of some strings (or whatever instrument is appropriate here) to play another melody or something to that extent. Basically, something else that would act as the lead sound that brings it all together : o

[timaeus222]

The EP chords and rhythm could be more varied. It could also be more rich in tone.

The kick is generic. Try layering on a few more to get some more punch out of it. I know you were automating a low pass, but it still isn't that strong yet.

The clap that comes in later could be shorter. For a song like this, I'd try to find a short clap-snare layered hit to put after the hi hats. Speaking of hi hats, typically I'd expect a hi hat, not a ride.

Good job so far.