DragonAvenger Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) Your ReMixer name: Kammo64 Your real name: Cameron Steele Your email address: Name of game(s) arranged: Golden Sun Name of arrangement: The Grand Beacon Of Venus Name of individual song(s) arranged: Venus Lighthouse Link to the original soundtrack: This is a Resub, when I first submitted this piece it was not very good at all and that is because I was just starting out. I feel I have improved a whole lot since then. I would love any feedback at all to further improve myself. Edited April 4, 2013 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 The previous version I heard of this a few months ago was a direct reject, and I feel like you've come a long way since then Cameron. I still think you've got a bit of a ways to go, but I felt like this has improved to the point where you could use some extra feedback from the other judges. The arrangement overall has improved quite a bit in terms of adding your own flair and making it your own. There are some sections that work better than others; 0:40 is a good start to a transition, but I think you could add a better lead-in synth to that to smooth things out, 0:59 works pretty well, and I'm tempted to say you should move it closer to the beginning, 1:14 has some nice little melody alterations, but maybe change that descending synth to something less piano-sounding so it isn't clashing as much, 2:12 is pretty enjoyable, 3:04 has some good melody alterations as well. Other sections aren't looking so hot: The opening feels very blocky with that synth chords, and the part coming in at 0:16 is overpowering, 1:42 has some funky note choices that aren't fitting well, and the same at 1:58, 2:52-2:55 has a weird note lead in. Overall it's a lot of little fixes and alterations in terms of arrangement. Production overall isn't too bad, a lot of it stems from some clashing instruments in terms of frequencies or sounding similar. I'd also suggest looking into adding some more humanization to the parts, and expanding on the soundscape a little more. Hopefully some other judges will have some more advice on that end of things. Overall I think you've got a mix that is definitely on the right track and just needs some more polish. You should take this to the WIP forums to get some more advice. Nice improvements overall, keep going! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vig Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Okay so right off the bat I'm noticing that the piano is sequenced quite mechanically, and mixed quite darkly. Need some more presence and less mud. Ultimately the intro just doesn't work. There are some cool synths, namely the arpeggiated part, but the lead is pretty static and dull. The piano is a nice sonic addition. The mixing isn't really good enough at this point though. The drums have no energy, and some synths stick way out while others are buried. Gotta bring out the kick, and generally get the levels a bit more even. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Delay on that piano doesn't really work in the opening. It's very mechanical and the delay is just causing a lot of overlapping notes that don't need to be overlapping. That lead synth you've got initially just does not work. You really ought to consider changing it. This whole piece feels like it's on auto-pilot, like you just jump from one idea to the next without a lot of thought given to transitions. You've also got this thing happening where the lead instrument will just try to embellish itself by going on of a melodic tangent when there's any sustained note. It sounds very weird. Try to separate embellishments from the lead and learn to balance them accordingly. This isn't bad but it needs a lot of work. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts