DragonAvenger Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) Resub decision Original decision ReMixer Name: Fallen Seraph Real Name: Wina Kamlongera Email addy: userid: 10661 Name of game arranged: Dark Cloud 2 - Dark Chronicle Name of arrangement: Strands of the Future Name of individual song arranged: Battle for the Future Me own comments: There's just something amazing about 'Battle for the Future'. I think I started the first draft of this mix just experimenting, trying to see if the source could work in a Hip-Hop context. I took what I felt was the grandest section of the source and relegated it to work as a 'break' for the arrangement, serving as an anchor for whatever I felt could work next. If I remember correctly, the opening piano phrase and the beat patterns (used in the second half of the first verse) were what drove the various ideas within the piece. I think this might be the third version headed to the panel, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm grateful for the panel feedback and have attempted to incorporate a lot of it into this version. In addition to the great critiques from the judges, I showed one (later) version of the track to Mansoor (Dj Mystix) for some much needed feedback and guidance. So, thanks to him as well, he definitely helped me take note of other problem areas that were still holding the arrangement back. Hope I've done everyone proud with this revision! Um...what else? (I'm trying to remember why I called it 'Strands of the Future'...it might be the mental image I get for the way the Fruity Love Philter works on some of the instruments...or I just ripped off the original title...) I think I imagine this as a sort of credits theme...yep...credits. ----------- Edited May 10, 2013 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vig Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Awfully sparse. I don't think the drums are too loud so much as there's really nothing else to fill up the space. Then it goes from chill to comatose at 2:15. I think the final section is the absolute minimum energy level you should have in this track. So far this track needs a direction. Keep at it. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Timing seemed off with how the leads interacted with the background synth. Beats felt super flimsy at :26; a thicker sound may help there to fill out the soundfield. Even after it seemed like the buildup was complete at :34 with the cymbal swell transition, the overall texture felt too thin. Wasn't a fan of the flimsy claps brought in at :53. The beats providing the framework just sound too thin, even though they're complimented by some bass presence. Bowed strings at 1:10 really strained for realism. They didn't sound awful, and they weren't totally exposed. But the attacks and articulations stood out just enough to sound noticeably fake. Still not feeling the synth lead at 1:27. It's a pretty dry, shrill and exposed kind of lead and the instrumentation surrounding it doesn't really click much with it, IMO. Just wasn't feeling the synth leads or percussion, the textures were too sparse while not having much synergy, and I felt the dynamic changeups here were just awkward without much flow. I only read Vig's vote after writing all of this above. He was right about 2:15 and the final section's energy level needing to be the minimum energy level of the entire track. But even then, there's so much open space in the soundscape. The clock ticks at 2:34 were too loud and sounded like they were just stapled on top of the music. Everything else is so dry while the clock sound has all this delay on it; they need to sound like they occupy the same soundscape. You really need thicker sounds and/or some padding to achieve a richer soundscape, and you need instruments that actually work well together. If you get those working, the issue of dynamic contrast will take care of itself and you'll realize the potential of what's otherwise a legitimately interpretive and interesting arrangement. All in all, I thought this ended up being a step backwards from the previous submitted version. Nothing to be ashamed about there, but it'll take a lot more work to improve the instrumentation and flesh out the soundscape if you don't already have a decent ear for it. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 I didn't hear the previous version, but I have to agree with what's been so far. The drums took up way too much of the space, which hurt the atmosphere to some extent. The stiff strings didn't work in your favor like they can in some hip-hop songs. The parts where you laid on the kick were weak because the kick itself had almost no snap - without that crucial high-end, the rhythmic focus is lost. And that's not even taking into account the song as an arrangement, which was a little meandering. I generally like your style, Wina, and I think you took a few risks here, but this one didn't sit right with me. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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