Palpable Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) Hello judges! This is my first time submitting a remix to your site, so I'm both excited and nervous. I was concerned that this remix would not be up to par with your submission standards, but my friends have encouraged me to give it a shot, so here I am. If it is indeed substandard, I would love some feedback on how I can improve! I still have a lot to learn when it comes to sound production. Game: Animal Crossing: New Leaf System: Nintendo 3DS Remix name: Pour Avina Song arranged: 1 A.M. ( )Composers: Kazumi Totaka, Manaka Kataoka, Atsuko Asahi Comments: This remix was a request from a good friend of mine named Avina, so I named it Pour Avina, which means "For Avina" in French. Why the French title? Well, I'm a bit of a Francophile when it comes to classical music. For this arrangement, I took the simple yet elegant theme from "1 A.M." and expanded on it, making it quite Romantic. Link: I hope you enjoy it! Norphan User ID: 52037 ------------------------------------------------------------------ Edited January 27, 2014 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Hey, cool stuff. The piano being so similar to the original song was a minor negative, but you did personalize the arrangement with the seamless addition of the string writing. With the piano, it might not be a bad idea to do something else interpretive with the melody in a few places, but this wasn't a dealbreaker issue. If I hadn't heard the original, I could have easily assumed this piece was an original composition from some obscure Japanese RPG, since the sample quality and articulations sound just like some of those pro soundtracks. They're a bit of an acquired taste sonically, because (just like those soundtracks) your instrumentation sounds pretty fake. It's not that we require ultra-realistic samples, but the piano note articulations are noticeably mechanical and the timing is too rigid, with the worst offender being :50-1:21's extended section with the piano alone and exposed. Also, as you transitioned to :50, the strings abruptly cut out, which again is just unrealistic. Some of the note changes/attacks by the backing strings are also very problematic, because it doesn't sound like a bow sliding, with the worst offending section being 1:41-2:13. 2:15-2:30 being a copy-pasta of the intro rather than a variation was a bit of a letdown, but it wasn't a dealbreaker. If you can smooth out some of the timing issues, you could be good to go, as the arrangement itself was pretty sweet. Hopefully the musician Js can give some specific tips there to help you better realize the potential of this otherwise sweet arrangement. Good job so far, and definitely thank your friends for encouraging you to submit this! It's not THAT scary. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I think the arrangement is very nice, refined and nuanced, but the humanization of the parts or the performance of the piece is where it falls a bit flat, and a lot of the little details like the tails of the strings cutting out early and not fading completely, or the velocities of the piano being hit a bit hard. Adding some more delicate touches to the piano as far as how hard the keys are being hit would help he feeling, and a little bit more of rubato here and there would be nice as well. THere is some that makes it feel a lot nicer, so anything you can do to really up the emotion is good. I look forward to a resub, this is overall nice! No, please resubmit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 This is a sweet take on a sweet source. Very nice arrangement. What is holding it back is the samples. Since the mix is only the piano and strings, those two instruments have to really shine, and they don't here. The piano is played with completely mechanical timing and velocities. You would need to vary the note velocity values and start/stop times quite a bit to give it a human feel. Some samples are velocity-sensitive, and others are not. For a song with the piano this prominent, you've got to have a velocity-sensitive sample. These strings are terrible, let's just face it. But they can still be workable, but it will take some, well, work! Make sure there is velocity variation within your chords, first of all. And since the sample ends so abruptly, you'll need to make all of the string notes longer, and use automation to create "swells" with the volume, to emulate natural violin playing. You can also eq this sample to sound more natural by removing a lot of the midrange (which is also serving to drown out your piano). Also as the other Js have said, some writing variation will really help this piece not be repetitive. Take one of your same-y sections, and give the melody more of your own influence somewhat. I hope to hear this again with these issues addressed! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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