Cyril the Wolf Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I submitted this to DoD and got 26th place... what could I do to it to make it 1st place? It's on my youtube because it is "done" but I'm thinking of doing an albumish thing so I have some time to improve it before I release that... Remix: Original: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tables Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I love this idea, this arrangement in general, the instrumentation. So funky! Listened to it three times now... the only things I could think of to improve it -- it might just be youtube but it doesn't feel like it's the highest quality it could be - feels squished in an unintentional way. And maybe the arrangement could be tightened to make the song shorter, I feel like it says everything it needs to say before it's over and the extra length is just bonus, you know? (This might have to do with the quality youtube thing, but it also felt like the tempo was slightly... wrong? Like it feels slightly rushed, trying to fit too much at once, but only in a weird background-nagging way that doesn't make sense I also don't know what I'm talking about most of the time ) But, so it's clear- I really do like what you have right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 lol, it has nothing to do with youtube. I think it gets repetitive in the beginning until 1:10. I get that it's supposed to be some sort of semi-scary groove thing, but the groove gets repeated quite a bit. Maybe add in some syncopation here and there to change up the rhythm a bit. The drums are a tad plodding too. I do agree that it's a bit quiet, but again, not because of youtube, but because of how it's mixed. I think the drums are fine, though 2:44 is rather weak on the impact in the guitar department, oddly enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Yea I think I trapped myself in the disco thing, I bet if I changed up the drums that would be enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uffe von Lauterbach Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I agree with what Timaeus said. Syncopation to the melody could have done some wonders. I would even suggest that maybe change up the melody a tad to give it some of your own flavor. I think the genre you chose is an interesting one. There was a Brinstar remix someone was working on that had sort of this style, at least a 70s style. Was that you? Anyway, I like it for what it is, but try to change it up a tad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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