Emunator Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Your ReMixer name: Unknown Alias Your real name: Nick Williams Your website: https://nickwilliamsmusic.bandcamp.com/ Your userid: 53465 Name of game(s) arranged: Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil Name of arrangement: Sorrowful Ocean Name of individual song(s) arranged: Seaway, Opening Theme, Calm Sea, Going to Lunatea Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil is one of my most fondly remember games from when I was younger. The dream like atmosphere to the visuals and music always just had such an effect on me. One thing I always loved was the dynamic music that would play when going into a cave, everything in the song would become much slower, more simplified, and have much bigger reverb. Because of how much of an impact this games' soundtrack had on me, when I decided to join the forums and try to make something for the site, Seaway from Klonoa 2 was one of the first things that came to mind that I should do. Source material used: Seaway: http://youtu.be/zvj3BLNYNk8 Opening Theme: http://youtu.be/-Qqhfq7YkwQ Calm Sea: http://youtu.be/LVRSlX183GE Going to Lunatea: http://youtu.be/9HSIg9L3J-U Here is where the source material is used throughout the mix: - Opening 2 chords of Seaway at 0:00 to 0:15 - Main melody of Seaway at 0:15 to 0:30 - Bass solo at 0:30 to 0:45 with Seaway's main melody at 0:37 to 0:40 - Second section of Seaway from 0:45 to 1:19 - Transition from Seaway to the Opening Theme at 1:19 to 1:27 - Opening theme from 1:27 to 1:42 - Transition from Opening theme to Calm Sea at 1:42 to 1:53 Using the opening arp from Calm Sea - Using the idea and bassline of the Calm Sea track to create a breakdown from 1:53 to 2:23 - Piano solo using new chords, similar bassline, and same melody to Calm Sea 2:23 to 2:39 - Solo continues and picks up speed at 2:39 to 2:54 - Drum fill from 2:54 to 2:58 that transitions back into Seaway's main melody - The chords, melody, and bassline from Seaway with some added strings at 2:58 to 3:28 - Going to Lunatea's melody is used from 3:28 to 3:58 with the solo violin playing Seaway's melody from 3:28 to 3:32 - Original part to break out of Going to Lunatea at 3:58 to 4:14 - Piano solo from 4:14 4:29, Seaway's melody is played from 4:21 4:23 - Seaway in a different key and the solo violin with some more intensity to the drums and piano at 4:23 to 4:59 - Climax from 4:59 go 5:14, solo violin plays Seaway melody one more time from 5:07 to 5:14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 Not sure how I feel about this yet, so I'm going to drop some random bullet point thoughts and revisit this later... - Arrangement is very long and feels directionless, despite a lot of variation in the patterns and lack of direct repetition, the arrangement feels repetitive - Ambiance is strong and well-mixed - Piano sample is a weak point, tinny and low-quality. Unfortunately since it takes the lead role so often. - Strings sound well-articulated and help "punctuate" track - Lot of intelligent writing and transitions, great mixing of sources No idea how I'm going to vote on this one yet, but there's a lot to like here. EDIT 8/23: I'm revisiting this track after some time away, and reading Palpable's vote really helped crystallize my thoughts on what is keeping this from working. I don't want to detract from the good work you've done here, because this is a solid track that you clearly put a LOT of effort into, but the lack of focus and haphazard melody/chord writing is preventing this from clicking. I won't retread too much on that because he really nailed the feedback there. I'm still having a big problem with the piano sample here and I can't tell if I'm just showing my piano bias here, because nobody else has really commented on it, but I'm getting a very tinny, low-quality "FL Keys" tone from it and it just takes me out of the ambiance of the track. It sounds like the current sample you're working with has been nicely massaged with EQ already and you're just running up against the limitations of your samples. Perhaps if the arrangement/part writing were cleaned up and focused I could sign off on this with the current production quality, but I do feel like the piano sample quality is dragging this down. To recap though, I think the arrangement is probably the biggest hurdle that you need to overcome with this track. Keep at it, if not with this remix then with another submission, because you've clearly got chops! I just don't think this is working 100% in this form. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 This is going to take several listens, clearly. Four sources to consider, and the arrangement is indeed nebulous in it's structure. I can see why Emu said it sounds directionless. I don't think it's necessarily directionless, but this type of arrangement is an acquired taste I think. It is mixed well. I don't find the piano too problematic. Gonna have to let this one percolate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 There's a lot going on in this sub, and a lot to talk about. It's a free-flow jazz arrangement that combines four different sources, adding new structure and instrumentation, as well as original material. Clearly, there was a lot of effort put into this and I want to give as detailed an explanation for my vote as I can. Source usage is the easiest aspect to consider. There are changed chords and a totally new structure, but the melodies are kept mostly intact. I didn't timestamp it, but it seemed like it was over the 50% mark, considering chords and melody. I liked the balance of what pieces were carried over from the originals and what was added. Production was solid. It's maybe a little too clean, and the string articulations aren't always the best, but overall, it seemed to meet our standards. Some instruments could have been brought up in the mix, but that comes down to writing choices, somewhat. And let's get to that aspect. My biggest problem with the mix is that it's directionless. This is somewhat a personal preference, but to me there's not always a clear focus, and it's not the type of song that gets by on groove or mood alone. The song has pretty simple melodies and when played on the quite delicate piano instrument you've chosen, it barely registers as a lead. I would have chosen a fuller piano sound, maybe doubled in a lower octave, at which point it's possible the focus would be stronger. The violin lead had the same problem. When it plays at the same volume as the bg strings, you confuse the focus. But let's also talk about the musicality of the song. 0:15-0:30 has a strange new chord change that takes some getting used to IMO, with some bg notes that sound dissonant, especially the ones that linger into the chord change. 0:38-0:42 has some fills with the drums and bass, but the placement is really odd - it doesn't mark a chord change. That's very distracting to the listener and should be done sparingly. By contrast, at 0:45, there's no indication of a change, but the song introduces a new melody and chord change. Another example worth pointing out is how at 3:36-3:43, you've got a few different leads fighting for attention and they aren't complimenting each other. (3:28-3:35, 3:44-3:58 are examples where I thought you did it right - your lead writing there really works well.) I found strange musical choices like that peppered throughout the song. Sometimes I thought you added writing for the sake of having complex writing rather than deciding whether it served the song. I'm afraid it's a NO for me. There's just too much of the arrangement that doesn't work for me, even though I know you are going for something more on the abstract, dreamy side. I think you can keep the concept but deliver something with more focus and musicality. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Vinnie really explained this one nicely, I'm pretty much in full agreement with him. To add a bit yo what he said, there are sections where it feels like a lot or all of the instruments are just noodling around, which I think might be the underlying issue of the directionless feel. Maybe adjust done if the writing to have a sting lead melody playing will help, though I don't know if that would lose your ambiance here. Regardless, it is super obvious that you put a lot of work into this mix, and I really hope you either resub it with some tweaks or send us something new, would love to hear you again! No (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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