Chimpazilla Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 (edited) -- Remixer name: Athoz Name: Alan Email: ID: 52540 Game: Paper Mario 64 Arrangement: Make a Wish Song: Star Spirit's Request Original sound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mbwCBjM9lY Edited July 8, 2015 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Oh gosh, I like this remix so much better than the original, it has so much more life! The arrangement is really nice with good piano playing, interesting arps and unique original soloing over the clearly recognizable backing and chord structure. Simple source writing but lots of nice details added. The bass is mixed really well, I find this impressive. It has just the right amount of presence without being overpowering, and it is very smooth. I think some of the other elements could be mixed better though. The piano sounds high-passed, too much mids/highs and lows missing. The bells in the intro are piercy. At 0:37, there is a sustained synth with a distracting high-end buzz that just ends up sounding like a rendering error because it doesn't do anything other than play whole notes, it isn't adding anything to the groove. Starting at 0:55, the pan flute lead has way too much in the low end, it sounds bleedy against the bass and it is too loud and too reverby. The pad that joins in at 1:13 makes this worse. The drums are a bit repetitive and I'm not sure that's the best snare sound, but it is working ok. At 1:31, the pad and bells sound really nice! I wish there was a smoother transition after the pan flute though, it stops cold. I adore the lead starting at 1:49 but it is just a touch loud/piercy and could use some modulation (but it doesn't play long enough to be an issue). Then the high-passed piano returns. From 2:45-3:21 the pan flute and backing pad are conflicting and causing some mud. I think taking the lows out of the pan flute and/or the pad will fix that. I really do like this arrangement and the sound choices. There is some repetition in the arrangement, but I feel like there are enough subtle changes added to keep it fresh throughout. I feel like this track could use another shot at the mixing though. Also, the track cuts off too soon, make sure your render captures the end of the song and any reverb tail. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 The wind lead for the melody at :55 sounds decent, but has mechanical timing nonetheless. Everything does, but with an organic-sounding instrument, that shouldn't be the case. 1:14's and 3:03's sections sound like a cut-and-paste as well, though that was brief. Yeah, that beat from :48-2:07 & 3:03-3:39 just plods and doesn't add much to the song; it's bland, repetitive, and the snare tone doesn't quite fit. Dynamically, the arrangement feels very flat/samey due to the beats never changing. You need more dynamic contrast in this arrangement, Alan, even if it's subtle; getting more sophisticated and varied with the percussion writing will help. Chimpa really summed up the pros and cons well in good detail, and I agreed with everything she said on the arrangement and production. The arrangement's cool, but the mixing could use some work. The main issues though are that beat is lifeless & repetitive, and the timing of everything is too rigid. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jivemaster Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Feels like a modern take on the original. There are a couple problems I think that should be addressed before you're green lit. The first is you have some mixing problems (specifically: high end frequency clutter), which has already been brought up twice, but doesn't hurt to speak about it again. Your chimes get close to piercing frequencies at times (especially the high notes), some tiny EQ notches would sort that. I also noticed you also have a buzzing saw synth panned dead centre in the background across a lot of the track - this really could be removed to open up some high end space, as it doesn't add much value to the overall arrangement and at times almost works against the track in obtaining clarity, working in unison with your chimes to exacerbate that piercing effect. Conversely, I felt your piano could've had more low end as it was lacking in body. The second thing is popping some variation into your drums, which has also been stated. I actually like your drum sounds, I think an occasional change of hit here and there would make your track more organic. This isn't as important to me as the mixing, but would be beneficial to strengthening your overall sound. Mixing is your big one here, but I don't think it'd take long for you to get this one polished. NO (please resub) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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