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*NO* Shovel Knight 'Shovel's Lament' *RESUB*


Chimpazilla
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previous decision

 

ReMixer & real name: Eino Keskitalo
e-mail: 
forum id: 20708
 
ReMixer name: Jorito
Real name: Jorrith Schaap
e-mail: 
forum id: 3917
 
ReMixer name: Xarnax42
Real name: Jesse Deacon
e-mail: 
forum id: 37005
 
Real name: Trev Wignall (I'm assuming it's also the ReMixer name :))
e-mail: 
forum id: 32157

Names of games arranged: Shovel Knight
Name of Arrangement: Shovel's Lament
Names of individual songs arranged: The Requiem of Shield Knight, A Thousand Leagues Below
 
MP3 link: 
 
The arrangement:
 
This track combines two songs from the game Shovel Knight into a sad, lamenting song with vocals. It features the songs 'Requiem of Shield Knight' and 'A Thousand Leagues Below'. It was made in one week for the Knights of the ReMix doubles compo. Composition and arrangement by Jorito and evktalo, mixed and mastered by Jorito, violin by Trev, lyrics by evktalo and vocals by Xarnax42.
 
Arranger comments:

Jorito:

This was one of those crazy moments where everything falls into place naturally and gets driven by tons of inspiration and motivation. It already started at the very beginning. Initially we were debating between either a very frantic song or a calm song with orchestral elements. Inspiration struck me, and I went for a sad, lamenting piece, and within 2 hours the basic song and mood were setup. In another bout of inspiration I contacted Jesse (Xarnax42), who had to drop out in the singles tourney, through the forums and asked him if he’d be willing to do the vocals. Turned out that Jesse was eager to do some vocals again and in a stroke of luck he also had time to deliver on short notice.

A few back ’n forths of the arrangement between Eino and me and some very constructive IRC sessions later with the 3 of us the rest more or less happened automagically and we all dig the end result that’s now in front of you to enjoy.

Eino:

Throughout the two rounds of the Shovel Knight tournament, I was amazed by Jorito's drive and work ethic - I did my best to step up my game to keep up with him!

It was very educational to work on lyrics for someone else to sing. The writing process was iterative with lots of useful feedback from the whole team, getting everything to fall into place. Jesse being able to do several work-in-progress takes certainly helped with the satisfying end result. All the awkwardness in the lyric was worked out while keeping the intention intact. The lyric should be meaningful without knowing the game, while those familiar with it hopefully appreciate the references.

Jorito remixed the track for the resub and also asked Trev to record live violin, and Trev delivered in spades. Everything here definitely clicked - everyone was clearly inspired to put forth their best. Very proud of this one.
 
Trev:

I'm glad Eino and Jorrith approached me about doing this as I love adding violin with a human touch wherever I can. The lilting and melancholic melody lent itself extremely well to the instrument. Thanks guys!

Source breakdown is outdated (instrumentation may be a bit different, especially the violin) but the structure is the same. I don't think the source usage was an issue in the first submission so I'm not spending time re-checking :)

0:00-0:07 Celeste intro, based on the Requiem lead at 0:03-0:05.
0:08-0:16 Cello enters, riff is from A Thousand Leagues Below @ 0:55-0:57.
0:16-0:32 Variation of the main melody from Requiem with different bass.
0:32-1:04 Two first thirds of the first verse, based on Requiem's 0:02-0:24 (though on 0:02-0:12 more clearly); ATLB 0:55 riff from the intro features at 0:55-1:04.
1:04-1:35 Final third of the verse follows the 0:25-0:47 portion of the Requiem (ATLB 0:55 riff again ata 1:12-1:20).
1:35-2:08 The chorus is based on ATLB 0:55-1:05, which is easiest to hear 1:43-1:52 and 2:04-2:08. The vocal melody is based on 0:57 and 1:00 of the source.
2:08-2:40 The second verse follows 0:25-0:47 in the requiem. The cello adds some ATLB from 0:19-0:24 at 02:31-02:39.
2:40-3:10 The second chorus.
3:10-3:44 From ATLB 0:19-0:36.
3:45-4:00 From ATLB 0:36-0:46 (acoustic guitar), trumpet solo based on the main Requiem melody.
4:00-4:16 The same, actually. especially audible at the end.
4:16-4:32 From ATLB 0:46-0:55.
4:32-end Repeats of the chorus (neatly continuing the ATLB coverage from 0:55->).
 
Lyrics:

sky is clear
the thunder gone
no gold at the end of the rain

we fought hard
we fought long
nothing left at the end of the day

I'd be king
you, the queen
we'd beat them, we would drive them away

turns out we were not
the heroes we were made out to be

chorus:
if I lose my place
you're there, you'll catch my fall
promises break
and you are still my all

with you there
shielding me
I have faith, I can dig our way through

we've got all the treasure we need

if I lose my place
you're there, you'll catch my fall
promises break
and you are still my all

(middle part)

nothing remains
apart from the ash, still warm
ambitions fade
and you are still my all

though I've lost my grace
you're there, you'll catch my fall
catch my fall
catch my fall
catch my fall


That's all. Cheers!

 

Edited by Liontamer
closed decision
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  • 2 months later...

I gave this one a lot of thought and deliberation, because there's only one aspect holding this one back, and it's the vocals.  I didn't have the opportunity to listen to the previous version to compare, but the mixing and mastering seems good on this version.  The arrangement is emotive and creative, very good selection of sounds, good amounts of humanization on the performances and excellent ambiance.  The pacing is good and there are defined peaks and lows in the structure.  

So why am I torn on the voting? well, the problem is that the vocals just don't fit.  It's not that Xarnax's voice is bad, or that he's off pitch (although there are some intonations that feel awkward, specially right at the start), it's just that his tone and his performance style its too out of place within this arrangement.  The voice could've mixed in better, but somebody with a softer tone would fit much better with less effort.  I was torn on wether this is sufficient to pass/reject the remix, but after a lot of listening I think the vocals are too integral to the song and if they don't work then most of the mix is not working.

Not every singer can fit in every song, and although it's evident the love and care that went into this remix, I'll say the hard thing to say: this needs a different singer.  I'm truly sorry.

NO

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  • Sir_NutS changed the title to 2015/12/05 - (1N) Shovel Knight 'Shovel's Lament' *RESUB*

I have to concur with Mike's vote in it's entirety, his words cover my feelings perfectly on this mix.  The mixing and mastering have been much improved over the last version, so I have no issues there, but ultimately the vocals just don't fit.  I'll add that the contour of the lead melody doesn't help matters much, as the lead melody jumps up and down in octave a lot, and that would be a difficult lead line for anyone to sing effectively.  I do think Jesse's singing is competent though, but I believe it is not well suited to this style of song.

NO

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  • Chimpazilla changed the title to 2015/12/05 - (2N) Shovel Knight 'Shovel's Lament' *RESUB*

I agree with almost all of Mike's vote. I think the deal-breaker is indeed about the vocals, but I personally don't think the performance is the main problem. It may not be *the perfect match* for that track, but that's asking for a lot. My problem is with the mixing of the voice. The backing track is beautiful and well-executed on its own, but it feels like the lead vocal wasn't given nearly as much attention in the mixing efforts. It's not blending in the rest of the track at all. I feel like some EQ work could be done to help with that, and I'd suggest taking a look at the low-mids particularly, seems to me like that's where most of the weird stuff is happening. I also think the vocals could use a bit of reverb to blend in more. Reworking the overall levels by putting more consideration in the vocals could also be a good idea to try and blend them in better.

Maybe Mike and Kris are right, and what this needs is a different voice, but I do think it might not be the case, and that it's definitely worth trying to rework the mix with the current voice.

NO (resubmit)

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