DragonAvenger Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Dear OCR Judges... Here's the Link to my First Remix/Arrangement: Contact Information: * My ReMixer name - dabedaab * My real name - Steve Snider * My email address - * My userid - 32663 Submission Information: * Name of game arranged - Mario Paint * Name of arrangement - Pickin Colors * Name of individual song arranged - Title Theme * Additional information about game: - Composers: - Hirokazu Tanaka, Ryoji Yoshitomi, Kazumi Totaka - System: - SNES - Link to the original soundtrack: - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GdapZ1FZhI My comments about the ReMix: My 3 adult children all love VGM and introduced me to OCR. I like the fact that VGM is No_Genre/All_Genre (that's the way they put it). Your community is open to all types of music. All 3 of my children encouraged me to submit a song on OCR. I cruised the site and saw how the forums worked and how I could gain feedback from the larger community. Seems to me like this is a win-win situation in that it furthers the cause of VGM and I learn in the process. So, where to start I wondered (since I don't know much about gaming and the songs pertaining to same)? I asked my oldest son to think of a VG song that had a catchy tune (something he could easily hum). To that he replied the "Title Theme" to "Mario Paint". I listened to it and immediately began envisioning the arrangement in my mind. Since I have a background in Bluegrass, I quickly decided on using instruments from that genre. My first step was to map out the chords. Once I had those figured out, I laid out the "background/rhythm" tracks via "Band-in-a-Box". The background tracks are the Mandolin Chops, Fiddle Chops/Shuffles and Rhythm Guitar. All the rest of the tracks were products of my creativity and experience (including the arrangement itself) as follows: * Melody - Mandolin, Banjo * Harmony - Mandolin, Guitar * Improvisation - Guitar Lead * Bass I own and play all these instruments. Since I only (about 3 weeks ago) obtained the physical equipment to record live tracks, I was a bit shy about using them in the Remix/Arrangement. During the "WIP" and "Mod Review" phases I couldn't decide which I liked better (the Midized version or Live version of me playing the Banjo). My OCR peers have advised me to go with the live recording (which I have done for the Banjo Melody track). The other Melody/Harmony tracks are me (only midized and rendered via LMMS). Perhaps as I improve my recording skills I'll eventually be able to create all tracks as live (except for fiddle which I don't play). In all, this experience was a "Blast". I've already got my second remix as "WIP" in the forum site. I'll consider this a "Positive Experience" no matter the outcome. I don't know how the experience goes for everybody, but I personally found the feedback Wise, Prudent and Useful. I, and the OCR community in general, all agreed that the arrangement improved through the iterations as I incorporated the feedback sent my way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thanks.. dabedaab (Steve Snider) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 What a great story! I love that not only did you find out the site from your kids, but you used (and really enjoyed) the WIP forums to improve your track. I also am really enjoying where you went with the melody here. I wouldn't have thought of putting Mario Paint into bluegrass, but it fits in really well, and the arrangement itself is pretty fun. I do have some issues that I would like to see you address here. The first issue is that the melody feels somewhat mechanically played. I'd love for you to put a little more expression in your performance. Right now all of the notes sound like they are played at the same volume and using the same attacks. Having some dynamic changes and accents would really bring the melody to life more. On a similar note, the backing tracks feel cookie-cutter, and are lacking the expression that would really make this track interesting and energetic. I feel like the stylistic change and the arrangement itself are pretty close to bringing this over the bar, but the performances need to be upped just a bit to get this where it needs to be. I'm very excited to hear your next track, and I hope you look at this one a little more as well! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_NutS Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I LOVE this. Sadly I can't pass tracks just because I love them and this one has a couple things holding it back, and for this I have to side with Deia on almost every issue she has raised already. The performance on the lead was mechanical and lacked expression and emotion, but I disagree that the backings had issues, sure they sound cookie-cutter but they are performed naturally and fit the track very well. On the production side of things I felt the lead was a ta louder than it should. I also think some percussive elements could help elevate the track a bit more, even if it's just a few claps, a percussive hit or a shaker at some point to accentuate sections of the arrangement, it doesn't have to be a prevalent thing throughout the track but some percussive touches here and there would be great. FUN stuff but please give it the push it needs in the performance aspects, don't be afraid to push the arrangement more towards YOUR interpretation either.NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaMonz Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Yes, this is definitely a LOT of fun! I really like it, it immediately made me smile for the whole duration! It's a great adaptation idea, and a lovely arrangement! I have to agree about the mechanical interpretation bringing this under the bar, though. In my opinion, the mandolin is the only deal-breaker. Since it's so prominent, the mechanical interpretation is very apparent and doesn't suit the piece at all. Other than that, though, I really liked the backing parts! I was particularly impressed by the banjo and fiddle. This is nice work, but that mandolin definitely needs a rework. I really hope you will look into it and send it back, because this is awesome otherwise! Looking forward to hear more from you! NO (resubmit, please!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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