Undertale - Megalovania

[JKeck]

Hi folks! I've been working on this on and off for a couple of months, now. This was easily my favorite song from Undertale, and I've had that melody stuck in my head forever. This was a lot of fun to work on, but I wanted to see what some more experienced musicians have to say about it. Something I feel like I've struggled with is variation. Any input on that topic would be most welcome, as it's a consistent sticking point for me in general, but of course I'm open to criticism on anything.

I've been casually making music in my spare time for a few years, now. I'm a bit of an amateur still, and this is my first submission to the workshop, so be gentle!

Remix - https://clyp.it/syxv12nm

Original - 

 

[HankTheSpankTankJankerson]

Awesome groove, dude.  I would have used a different synth for the melody.  You have established that gritty wave as the accompaniment from the beginning, so.... I don't know.  Maybe a super saw?

[MindWanderer]

I like the groove a lot, too, especially that quirky accompaniment that kicks in at 0:33, but it certainly calls for some switching up of the lead instrument.  I'd go one step further than Hank and say you should use more than one different instrument for the melody.  Even the original source does this--ReMixes usually mix things up more than the original, or at least the same, not less.

Also the first half is pretty much a cover except for the different bass rhythm.  The breakdown in the middle is nice, but it needs some more creative arrangement.

Soundscape is lacking in the intro.  Hard to put my finger on it, but it seems to me like that buzzy bass is popping up into the midrange too much and is only really half a bass.  Then when the melody kicks in, it's like it can't make up its mind whether to be a build-up or a main melody, it's a little strong for the former and weak for the latter.  It really needs that harmony that doesn't come in until 0:58--not for the interest factor per se, but for the depth.  Overall the transitions (build-ups, climaxes, etc.) are underwhelming--the intended energy level of each section needs more emphasis.

[JKeck]

Thank you both for the input so far!

4 hours ago, MindWanderer said:

I like the groove a lot, too, especially that quirky accompaniment that kicks in at 0:33, but it certainly calls for some switching up of the lead instrument.  I'd go one step further than Hank and say you should use more than one different instrument for the melody.  Even the original source does this--ReMixes usually mix things up more than the original, or at least the same, not less.

Also the first half is pretty much a cover except for the different bass rhythm.  The breakdown in the middle is nice, but it needs some more creative arrangement.

Soundscape is lacking in the intro.  Hard to put my finger on it, but it seems to me like that buzzy bass is popping up into the midrange too much and is only really half a bass.  Then when the melody kicks in, it's like it can't make up its mind whether to be a build-up or a main melody, it's a little strong for the former and weak for the latter.  It really needs that harmony that doesn't come in until 0:58--not for the interest factor per se, but for the depth.  Overall the transitions (build-ups, climaxes, etc.) are underwhelming--the intended energy level of each section needs more emphasis.

I've bolded a couple of parts I'd like to ask for more detail on.

When you talk about the breakdown in the middle, can you clarify which part exactly you're referring to? The segment from 1:23 - 1:57 is what I would call the breakdown, is that what you're referring to? Also, when you say "it needs a more creative arrangement," is that referring to the breakdown specifically or to the entire piece? If you have any tips or suggestions for arranging in general, I'd be interested in what you have to say. As I mentioned, it's a consistent hurdle for me.

"That buzzy bass" is, unfortunately, not a terribly helpful descriptor for me. The instruments present in the intro are the main bass (with triangle sub) and the lead from the melody both playing in unison; a couple of effect synths which emphasize particular notes/beats; and what you referred to as "that quirky accompaniment" which comes in later. Based on that information, would you be able to identify which bass you're talking about?

Thanks again for your input! I'll definitely be making use of your comments as I continue to work on this piece.

[MindWanderer]

Well, what I had meant by "breakdown" was starting at 1:57, but the original stuff I was complimenting was specifically 2:26-2:44.  Not so much the SFX portion of it, but that starts off with a little bit of original music, and ends with a reverse crash leading into a solo lead.  None of that was in the original, and that's the kind of thing you need more of.

There are several approaches to making arranged remixes, but unfortunately it's largely a creative process.  Riffing on existing melodies, playing sections out of order, taking a melody line and making a harmony line out of it or vice-versa, stripping out key components (with or without replacement), adding completely original content, etc.  For me, it's mostly a lot of futzing around, either in my DAW or in my head, until I get a "eureka" moment.  Not sure if others have a more refined process than that.

What I meant by the "buzzy bass" was the bass that's used at the very beginning of the piece.  It has a mid-frequency timbre that sounds very much like a fly buzzing in your ear.  Because of that "buzz," the bass sounds much higher-pitched that what it's actually pitched to, and the result is a sound that lacks low-end.

[timaeus222]

The timbres are quite similar until 1:57 when you actually introduce the strings as accompaniment. That leaves the soundscape lacking in dynamic contrast, and unfortunately makes this feel more plodding than you intended. If you skip around at 0:00 - 1:57, you'd be hard-pressed to figure out where you are in the arrangement with your screen turned off.

So, that would tell you that textural diversity is a good way to add a sense of progression to this, and it's just not present quickly enough yet. As others have suggested, a more distinct lead sound would be a good first step. Right now, there's no clear climax, and evidently no clear breakdown.

Not really sure what to make of 2:28. It just sounds like a complete stop in the arrangement and the starting up of a brand new track, except it's the same source tune, and the same textures as at 0:00 - 1:57. So, this stops your arrangement flow in a way that if I were to stop listening at 2:32, then I wouldn't think that there is more to the track.

Here are two examples of music with a large amount of dynamic contrast. Here is a track walkthrough of the second example.

[jnWake]

I like how you slightly changed the rhytm of the original for the base riff. I don't like how long it repeats for though.

At 0:50 you introduce the main melody of the song but don't change either the synth or the drum pattern so, as a listener, it doesn't feel like much has changed. Hence, I'd suggest you look into changing some synths here and there and add more percussive elements. For example, you could try a higher pitch for the melody while keeping some of the synth bass and trying some variations to the drum pattern. That section's melody is fast paced and somewhat erratic so having such a slow rhytm with it doesn't gel well IMO.

At 1:23 you do a drum breakdown of sorts, but sadly it doesn't have much effect since most of the attention still goes to the synth bass. I'm not exactly sure what to suggest for this part though.

The synth string samples are very low for most of the song, a nice exception being the 1:56 section where they shine. It feels very refreshing to not have a gritty saw being the lead so that part is my favourite of the arrangement. IMO, this is the kind of stuff you need to focus on. A cool bass supplementing the rhytm and a fresh soundscape for the lead. I have to point out that the tuning of the synth string is a bit dubious, especially on the first note of the melody. Is there some bending going on?

Overall, I feel this has potential. I like how you rearranged the melody for the intro but didn't like the lack of variation in the drum patterns/synth usage. Section from 1:56 to 2:27 is the strongest one since the slower synth string melody is a great complement to the calmer mood you're going for here. You just need to figure out how to make the 0:50 melody fit into the mood you're going for.