"Clipped Wings" -Corneria

[TheChargingRhino]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1cNg5GTkCUIc1NpNEpLaW1ocGs/view?usp=sharing

Tell me what you think. 

[Gario]

Is this WIP not reach the end? It can be pretty tough to guage how a lot of what you've got going here affects the track as a whole. Sounds like it trails off at the end, so you're probably not done yet.

You're probably aware, but the master of this is VERY quiet. You're likely doing this for the sake of the album (I assume this is for the Lylat System CLEAR album), but on the boards here I do suggest maxing out the volume in Audacity (using the Amplify tool) prior to posting it. It lets people hear whether or not there are issues with the EQ or limiting easier; if it's not amp'd to the maximum, it can be tough to tell whether raising the volume would cause production issues. In this case you're lucky - I can push 14 dBs without issue - but it can be an issue for other tracks, and it's impossible for others to tell without the right tools at hand.

I like the overall soundscape, though. Synthwave sounds like a natural fit for this source. You've got to be careful with your instrument blend, though - with so much going on in the background it can be tricky to make the theme/melodies stand out without having them be crowded out by the other instruments. I hear some pulsing from time to time in the theme, so be careful with your mix and be sure the most important elements are coming through clean.

The introduction wears its welcome out pretty quickly, and it never feels like it picks up the pace to make up for it. It's tought to guage, though, since this might be an incomplete arrangement; in a 6-7 minute song the introduction could be satisfying, but a 3-4 minute song would suffer greatly because of it. Just as a rule of thumb: 20% is a decent length for an intro, and 25% should be the absolute cap. Anything longer will leave the listener unsatisfied with the rest of the track; long build-ups need large resolutions. This doesn't feel like a grand enough resolution for such a long intro.

There are some wrong notes in this arrangement. The passing note in the guitar at 0:18 is a half step too low, and every similar occurence (such as in the orchestra hits, at 0:41 for example) is also the wrong note. Compare to the actual source and listen to the difference - it's pretty stark. If you were using a MIDI for reference, always compare it to the actual source as well, whenever possible.

The bass has a few oddities in it, as well. At 1:30 it leaps up a tritone, which sounds pretty... janky. You should avoid leaps like that in the bass in particular, as they're difficult to lead into and out of in a way that doesn't sound disjointed and random. Following that, from 1:32 - 1:34 the bass clashes poorly against the theme, being a half-step higher than what's being played above it. I don't QUITE suggest moving the bass a half step lower, since that would be the exact same note as it was two chords ago, but it does need to be changed to something different.

I'm being pretty tough on it, but it does have a lot going for it. I like the soundscape of it, the arrangement has a lot of slick flourishes to keep it interesting and overall the production isn't too bad. I look forward to hearing a more complete version of it.