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I like the sources, and agree that they could make a sweet piano solo. I'd suggest focus on amping the emotional force of this piece with dynamics, with varying velocity on the individual notes to make it more alive. As a an amateur pianist, I would feel a little bored with the performance of this, though a conservative arrangement isn't bad in and of itself. Might I suggest a couple piano mixes from the site for study? kLuTz's 600 A.D. in Piano and Pyro Paper Plane's Lone Star. It's hard to make a programmed piano sound alive like these, but studying them could really help. Good luck with this piece!

Edited by Souperion

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Fixes:

color variation

humanization

mic position 

added silence lead in

no comp eq band dynamics

 

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It certainly feels a fair bit more alive and less stock-like. I'm noticing some jarring notes here and there, especially during the first minute and a half. I'd suggest looking over where you are putting the emphasis (extra velocity) and balance it out ever so slightly. I'm still an amateur at the craft myself, and there are a LOT of subtle nuances to figuring out how to make a piece like this feel living. But I think you are on the right track. Try making the emphasis variation a bit more subtle to avoid those blaring parts (EX: right at 38, the high note, right at 44, right at 49.) If it still feels like the particular part needs some emphatic statement, try making it a chord or some other ornamentation. Study some piano solos for ideas. I'd suggest a few: JJT's The Flood Plain, Jormungand's Dark Star Scherzo, and jdaster64's Cocoa 'n' Cookies.

You're getting somewhere with this, keep at.

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