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*NO* Star Fox "The Beginning"

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My remixer name: Ernesto Javier Music
Real Name: Ernesto Javier Flores
website:  https://soundcloud.com/ernestojavier_music
user id: 36248

Game title: Star Fox
Track: Corneria Theme
Original Composer: Hajime Hirasawa
System: Super Nintendo
 Link to original music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMvkkqxs8m0
My comments: I tried doing a orchestra/rock version of one my favorite songs from Star Fox. Combining genres it is never an easy task but hopefully i was able to accomplish my goal. Enjoy
Edited by prophetik music
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  • 1 month later...

The soundscape quickly got cramped at :11 as more elements were added. I like the concept of the arrangement though, which on that level is a pass; this had good variations in instrumentation and textures that prevented the track from ever being repetitive.

The synergy with these parts (orch strings, vox, electric guitar, drumkit especially the snare) didn't fully click together, but works well enough that I think it can get by from some folks' POV. I thought this the mixing of the different instruments could use some tweaks to not let the soundscape sound so muddy, but will leave it to the musicians Js to elaborate on. For me, that snappy snare stuck out like a sore thumb and was too loud in many places (e.g. 1:12-1:16). The vox sounded slightly behind the beat, but that wasn't a huge deal. 

The ending also cut off a few seconds early, so we would need a fixed version if this passed. This was a brief track, only 2:20 long, so everything really needs to be clicking for me to be comfortable getting behind it.

Very awesome stuff so far, Ernesto. Maybe I'm being too tough, but I think it just needs some production tweaks to push it over the top, and the arrangement and part-writing themselves wouldn't need to be touched in any way, IMO. We'll see where the other votes fall, but good luck with the rest of the vote, and this definitely deserves to be posted in some form. I think if this got posted as is, Ernesto would listen to this later with more experience under his belt and hear himself how this could sound sharper and more balanced.

NO (resubmit)

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  • Liontamer changed the title to 2019/09/17 - (1N) Star Fox "The Beginning"

I like the orchestral metal direction for this source.  The core notation got altered to adapt to the sound palette, like with the piano and voice carrying the original guitar and orchestra hit backing in a more subdued kind of way, the expression behind the live guitars and its articulations, and the appropriate variations for the drum patterns.

But there is, however, a fair chunk of copy-paste.  The second rendition of the A section (0:50) is almost entirely identical to the first, with only the segue to the B section sounding any different.  And that same chorus variation got heard again at 1:45, with the only difference being muted drums for the first four bars.  Hearing the guitar go through the notation with the same articulations felt tiresome too quickly.  This flaw is something I'd like to see get addressed - whether it be original melodies, different harmonies, performance with entirely different rhythms, or any other ideas of yours.

The production values feel all over the place, though - I can identify your leads despite all the clutter, but the balance and rest of the mixing have areas of improvement.  Larry brought up the snappy snare, which does indeed need to get brought down a touch.  To address his concern about muddiness as well, it's notably a thing when the strings and piano are both heard together, so it's difficult to focus on one part without accidentally hearing another.  I also feel the orchestral stabs during the B section (1:22) are even overpowering the drums, so I'd also suggest bringing them down too.  The vocal timing didn't bother me due to its slow attack, but the transition between section A variations (0:44) did - it was like the fill accidentally got brought forward by a 16th beat.  I suggest you take a look at that area and clean it up.

It's a concept I'd love to get behind, but there are so many small issues that they all add up to a return to the drawing board, unfortunately.  It'll be nice to hear a future revision with less copy-paste, a revised mixdown, and that one transition getting fixed.  Keep at it, Ernesto.

NO (resubmit)

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  • Rexy changed the title to 2019/09/17 - (2N) Star Fox "The Beginning"
  • 1 month later...

great concept for a remix. love the idea.

there's definitely a lot competing in the soundscape throughout. a great example is the vocal synth (even robots need to breath, man, give her a breath here and there!). there's a ton of body to it in the lower/middle registers that totally hoses the guitar when it comes in on the solo at around 0:33, for example. boost the 2.5-3k range or so (vocal formant), roll off anything low, and scoop the mid a bit and it'll actually sound louder since the high boost will carry it better. that's one example. the snare, orchestra, and some of the guitars are all overlapping throughout most of the track and it's causing a lot of mud. notching everything into their specific shelf will really make it clearer while making it even more punchy, which is what it sounds like you're going for. also, a nitpick - you've got a cymbal ring being cut off at the end. maybe give it another second of silence after the track and fade your master to avoid that?

beyond that, i agree that there's a lot of copypasta going on here. rexy nailed that there's a ton of repetition throughout, which is an aspect of this genre that can really wear you out fast. i'd heavily recommend thinking about adding rhythms that are new and different throughout to add excitement on the second and third iteration of each section.

overall this is a great first effort. some cleaned-up mastering and more attention to the overall repetitive feel of the track would really improve everything dramatically.




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