*NO* Dragon Warrior 4 "Twisted Systerz" *RESUB*

[Liontamer]

2nd RESUB
1st RESUB
Original Decision

This is Audiomancer, once again. This is another attempt at Mara and Nara's theme from the fourth chapter of Dragon Warrior 4. A few things I did differently this go around is use high and low pass filters and shelves on each individual track, instead of just on the master. I changed the percussion samples, lowered the volume on the percussion, and changed some of the patterns/fills. I also changed some of the synths, and added some automated filter, flanger, and comb filter affects to the ends of some phrases to add variety to the sound. In addition, I brought the melody components closer to center/ reduced the panning. I did the same with the different snare drum sample. Written on Caustic 3, a mastering pass done on FL Studio. Original inked below, arrangement attached.

 

Thanks ahead of time for your consideration, I'm enjoying the challenge of trying to mix and produce, even if difficulty is higher than I expected;)

 

Original

 

Dragon Warrior IV (NES) Music - Nara and Mara Overworld

 

[Liontamer]

Hey Eric, it's going to sound like I inherently dislike this track and am actively trying to discourage your submissions. Having judged an earlier version, there's some writing improvements, but also still some significant production drawbacks.

The panning's too wide, and I saw the comments in the Workshop, but I'd argue parts are bouncing around the stereo field too much; it's nothing where I'd NO an otherwise cohesive arrangement over it, but it's potentially disorienting.

The opening line as well the core kicks/beats in particular are extremely barren; they don't resonate anymore or fill out the soundscape. I'd have to say as far as the sound quality and mixing that it's a step down from the previous version. I thought the previous version would have passed the bar of ye olden days pre-judges panel, but this makes less of that case. The brief shot of the lead at 2:05's very piercing.

This will sound wrong and insulting; you should step away from the track for a little while to reset on account of this resubmission sounding markedly worse from a sound quality standpoint (strictly with the synth choices and seeming lack of effects).

Let's see what the others say, and I may come back to this to co-sign on other judges feedback if they hit on relevant aspects I couldn't articulate.

NO

[Emunator]

I hate to say it, but I think Larry is absolutely right here. This does not sound like it's an improvement over the previous submissions. It feels like you are getting diminishing returns on your effort with this track and in some ways, even backsliding in the wrong direction.

I'm going to drop some general creative advice, speaking from personal experience as someone who struggled a lot during my formative years as a musician. I hope this is well-received and not taken in any way that might seem to be discouraging or out-of-line, because I would love to see you find success with your submissions and I know you've got it in you. You've clearly got an ear for arranging and writing catchy arrangements, and your passion for creating music is there which might be one of the most important qualities that anyone can have in a creative space. But I think you could benefit from rethinking your strategy here.

I've found that I grow far more as an artist from trying new ideas than I do from poring over my older attempts and trying to polish them. From what I'm hearing, you seem to be at the point in your musical journey where you've still got a lot of room to grow on certain fundamental areas such as sound design, mixing, and production, and I strongly believe you will see a greater benefit from simply practicing as much as you can. Watch video tutorials on Youtube. Seek out new free plugins and sample libraries that can help you unlock different techniques and learn how to take advantage of. You'd be amazed at what is out there for free these days - check out Spitfire Labs for some creative sample libraries that can bring some texture and personality to your tracks, or just search "Free VST 2023" on Youtube and you'll find a trove of options. Find your favorite artists on OCRemix or elsewhere, download those tracks, and put them in your DAW side-by-side with your own arrangements, and see what you can learn about mixing, balance, and effects. Then, put it all into practice and create as much music as you can, and don't spend too much time on any one idea at this point. That can come later.

I think if you refocus your efforts to any or all of these areas, you'll find a lot more reward for your effort in the long run. My gut tells me that you'll be blown away by how much you've improved after 6-12 months of absorbing knowledge and focused practice.

Again, I hope you take this advice in the spirit that it's intended, coming from someone who struggled a lot during the first few years of learning music and didn't feel like I was getting a lot out of my effort. You've got some strong fundamentals and a great work ethic, but seeing the results on this string of resubmissions suggests to me that there might be a better path forward for you to get where you want to be

NO

[Chimpazilla]

I agree totally with Wes and Larry.  This arrangement is awesome and full of creativity and shows real promise, but the sounds and mixing are just not up to par.  It seems like the more you mess with this track's sound, the worse it gets.  There are times to abandon track, fall back and regroup, and try new things. Sometimes a track is so enmeshed in outdated skills and ideas that it will actually hold you back rather than allow you to move forward, if you continue to agonize over it.  I say this from harsh personal experience!  Been there, and done that.  Heck, sometimes I still go there, and do that, but I am able to pull the plug sooner if something's a fail.

You are going to want to be sure you have the best listening equipment possible, whether that is excellent headphones or monitors in a treated room.  Listen to reference tracks on your equipment to make sure you know what you are hearing.  Then spend time really digging in to learn mixing techniques.  I think you did a good job with the automated effects, but your basic EQ is overblown.  You say you've done "high and low pass filters and shelves on each individual track" and it sounds very overcooked at this point.  What's left is all mids and mid-highs.  There's no need to mess with every sound so much with EQ, other than reducing low mud out of elements that aren't kick or bass.  If something sounds particularly bad or problematic, don't hesitate to replace the sound with something more musical and pleasant, rather than spend too much time trying to tame the sound.

You'll want to be using better sounds, either synth or samples or whichever you have access to.  You'll benefit from using a real DAW (if you aren't already, it isn't clear to me anymore which software you're using).  If possible, you may want to find a tutor to teach you basic sound choice/design and mixing techniques. One of the best things I did for my own process was choose someone whose music and production I really respected, and I reached out and asked him to mentor me.  He was flattered, and he ended up being my teacher off and on for about three years.  What he taught me (including how to be brave and trust my own decisions) allowed me to really level up in my production.   

I really do think you can do this, as this arrangement is still very good in my opinion!  But it simply must sound better.  I relate totally to what Wes said about going through this process as a new producer.  It can be frustrating, sometimes even humiliating... but if you hang with it and stay open to advice and keep seeking knowledge and practicing skills with mini-wips, you will advance. 

I hope you can feel from all of our votes on this track that we believe you have real promise.  Please don't give up, but dive in and learn how to get it done right.  We can't wait to hear the results!

NO