Liontamer Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 (edited) ReMixer name(s): Jett Swole, Earth Kid ReMixer userid(s): 36756 (Jett Swole), 33453 (Earth Kid) Game arranged: Fate/Stay Night (2004) Arrangement name: When the Morning Comes Source song: Kie nai Omoi (also commonly translated as "Unforgettable", "Unfading Thoughts" or "Ever-Present Feeling") Source song Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L1DEvzsftw Source OST info at: https://vgmdb.net/album/1575 Lyrics: (Jett Swole) I am calling to you Through the stream of time Your appearance in the moonlight So sublime I entrust you with my body Noble king of knights I will fight with you If you will stay the night (Earth Kid) And if you call upon my aid I will swear I will be your blade Always there (Both) When you need me I will stand beside you If you'll stand beside me When the morning comes (Earth Kid) In our darkest hour Under blackened skies I will not betray The kindness in your eyes I will be your sword And never let your spirit die Though I know that soon We'll have to say goodbye (Jett Swole) And if you wait for me to come I will swear I will follow you Anywhere (Both) When you need me I will stand beside you If you'll stand beside me When the morning comes Til the end of time I will be Waiting for you still Endlessly I will promise I will wait forever If you swear you'll be there When the morning comes Additional comments: This was one of my alternate entries for Dwelling of Duels September 2023, but the idea of a vocal version of this song had been brewing in my head for a while and DoD's 20th anniversary month seemed like as good an excuse as any to get on it. It was probably my favorite song on the original Fate/Stay Night visual novel OST. Just about every instance of its in-game use is accompanied by a moment that tugs at the heartstrings something fierce, and while I don't know if it would have quite the same effect on people out of context, I did my best to try to capture some of that feeling in this rendition. Without going hard into spoilers, the lyrics were very much inspired by the first route of the game (Saber's route, more often just referred to as the "Fate route") and I wrote them from the perspectives of Shirou and Saber respectively. As for the rest of the arrangement, I played the bass and piano parts live and sang the Shirou parts, while Earth Kid sang the Saber parts. I'm not too experienced at the piano, and this was only the second time I've felt remotely confident enough on the keys to record and release anything played live on a midi controller. It's also one of the rare times I've put out a guitar-less track at all. That's about it, I guess. All things considered, I really like how this arrangement turned out. Hope you do too! Edited November 1, 2023 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted October 9, 2023 Author Share Posted October 9, 2023 Opens up pretty close to the source's belltones, and with some karaoke drum machine-type stuff, very stiff. Jett comes in with vocals at :31, and the recording sounds like the high frequencies got cut (maybe to eliminate hiss). Flat note at :39 as well during "your". Not bad chorusing, but the vocals also sound like they don't have enough power behind them. EK arrives at 1:01 with some nicely doubled lines, and her parts sounds much smoother yet forceful, so there's a quality disparity with the strength and pitch control from Natalya compared to Nikki's earlier lines, e.g. Nikki's doubling 2:26 and 2:34, it's a lot more wavering. There may be some post-production techniques (not just Auto-Tune), that could mitigate some of the shakier aspects of the performance, or it could be worth more takes to see what's more comfortable in Nikki's range. EDIT (10/10): Forgot to also mention, which I'm glad prophetik did, about the chorused lines between Nikki and Natalya not quite lining up, which is definitely noticeable. The piano at :16 and especially 2:59 also sounds too bright and really blocky, especially when it's there pretty much out there on its own. I know the source itself has a sampled piano, but it's got a softer, warmer sound to it and the attacks feel more varied per segment. The arrangement concept's definitely fine with me, the bass guitar tone sounds fine, and I like the lyrics. I wonder what the music judges can offer to improve the sound of karaoke-like percussion; the pacing seems intentional, but it just doesn't feel cohesive like this. Maybe they can also explain why the source tune flows better and doesn't present as stiff compared to this. Others can correct me if this sounds off-base; IMO, the percussion timing being so rigid is never going to properly pair with the singing. Even trying to perform the guitar and piano (and synth at 1:38) to fit with this beat is nerfing everything and actually sapping the emotion out of the live parts. I'd mainly like the instrumental to have more flow to it, and for Jett's vocals to have more power and control. I like her going outside her comfort zone; taking risks is good and you've gotta walk before you run. This is too karaoke-like in its current form, Nikki, but could be enlivened. I'm not sure it could be quickly be tweaked; I'd say, even if it didn't pass in some form, giving this another pass to see how you could improve this further may be worth the learnings. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 (edited) opening is bells and drums. i agree the drums sound pretty robotic, lot of high freqs. the keys and bass sound fine when they come in though. jett's entrance is pitchy and it stays pretty pitchy for a while. nat's entrance is notable as much because of how much more in tune her voice is - the first run here sounds heavily pitch-adjusted, but it's a lot more natural in the combined sections and in the second verse. nat, watch your ee vowel - it gets very bright and sticks out pretty regularly vs. the rest of your sung english. the combined sections were notably not sync'd very well also - unisons are the hardest things to sing together both for intonation and for timing, and this is a good example of why. there's some really nice moments with the vocals. the tempo moves a lot, but the parts where the singers sit back on the beat properly (like at 2:18 for example) really pop. similarly, when the vowels line up with the melody line (like at 2:35 or 2:52), it's a really nice feel. the background parts throughout are essentially just piano (sometimes only one or two notes sustaining) and bass, which is too little for a lot of the track. there's no pad work at all which i think is a mistake - as it is, the vocals are so loud that you can't hear anything else, but as soon as they stop singing for even an instant, it's like there's nothing underneath them. a more fleshed-out backing part would make a huge difference. i think that, similarly, the drums don't not work, but they're a missed opportunity. people rag on ballad drums as being paint by number, but percussion in a ballad serves a critical purpose of nailing down the beat so that you can sit back into it and not rush. jett's singing often rushes the beat and feels like they are trying to pull ahead, and a more firm and defined drum part that wasn't just there for the snare may have helped with that. i think this is an arrangement idea that really has some wings. i like the idea of a more minimal backing part and certainly don't think you need a fully-scored orchestra or full band behind the vocals. i do think it needs something more to help carry the harmonic components, thereby allowing the vocals to be a part of the whole rather than most everything you can hear. i also think that pitch-adjusting nat's voice and not jett's (or at least not enough) is tough because not only is it easier to hear intonation issues in lower voices due to range and how physics works, but also jett's voice is the first voice you hear and it scoops right off the bat. this needs some revisions i think, but like i said, i really like the idea, and the original's melody is honestly beautiful. NO Edited October 10, 2023 by prophetik music clarification Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted November 1, 2023 Share Posted November 1, 2023 I actually don't mind the composition here. I do see how it's a bit follow-the-bouncing-ball in that the vocals are usually echoing one of the instruments, but that didn't really leap out at me on first blush. I hate to say it, but Jett's vocals being pitchy is a real issue here. In such a minimal environment, it's hard to ignore, as are the timing inconsistencies. The other problem for me is that the bells have a piercing harmonic to them that hurts my ears and gives me a bit of tinnitus. They could stand to be low-passed a bit, certainly cutting out the 17kHz+ range. Ultimately, this approach needs the vocals to carry the piece, and they don't. Certainly doing more with harmony and percussion would help, but I'd personally vote in favor of this even without that if the vocals were better. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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