Liontamer Posted October 18, 2023 Share Posted October 18, 2023 (edited) Hello folks, I would like to submit my remix "Medusa Tower" to you. Remixer Name: Marillion Asturia Real Name: Peter Gotthardt Email: Submission Information: Origin: The origin track is the track "Tower" from the game Phantasy Star, released in 1988 on the Sega Master System. Composed by Tokuhiko Uwabo, 1987, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7MwSs7DpQQ The name of my remix is "Medusa Tower". I made this on my own. The remix came about because I am a big fan of this game and had now familiarised myself well enough with DAW Rytmik to give it a try. I always imagined how I would arrange this track. This is now my humble attempt. I Hope you will like it, and i am looking forward to read from you Best regards Peter (Marillion) Gotthardt Edited October 30, 2023 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted October 18, 2023 Share Posted October 18, 2023 starts out with some sfx including the SEGA theme, which is fun. we get some chippy drums right off the bat and some heavily lfo-panned synths that sound intentionally chippy with the melody soon after, and then at 0:36 the drums come in. the beat is pretty boomy initially and is pretty 80s arena in sound with loads of reverb. there's a synth bass soon after that's also pretty 80s. the mix sits in this combo for some time until we get a new lead synth at 1:11, but this is still build - the 'real' lead synth doesn't hit until 1:25. there's some dissonance where the long-delay synths run into each other on some of the chromatic elements at the ends of phrases. the b material shows up at 1:54 (depending on where you put the b material start). the shift in drums and groove here follows the original's overall shape. after a big drum fill, we get the a material at 2:21 with a lot of new ideas, which i like. there's a fun synth solo, there's some arpeggiated backing elements, and it moves through back to the b section at about 2:50ish. this is back to being pretty close to the original. a is back at 3:31, and it is back to being pretty close to the original as well, and it again goes through to the b section. this is too much repetition, especially with how similar the realization of each of these sections is to the original, and how even the drum fills are the same for each section. after the b section is a chippy realization of the a/b themes for not quite a minute, some sfx, and it's done. overall, the sound quality really isn't there. i think the 80s vibe you're going for is a neat idea for this game especially considering the context, but the synths are generic and boring throughout and they're also overused - there's no mixing up sounds at any point. similarly, there's no real dynamics, builds, or anything to drive energy throughout. the overly repetitive nature of the remix is to blame for at least some of that - cutting out two minutes should be fairly easy and wouldn't compromise what you're doing. from an arrangement perspective, there's not much outside of the synth solo that's not already in the original. mixing up what you're doing where and personalizing it more would be a great choice. i think the workshop could really be a great resource for this. i'd recommend you spend some time talking with the folks there, either in the discord or in the forums. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted October 22, 2023 Author Share Posted October 22, 2023 Opens up pretty thin, and with some fuzz, for the retro sound. Oh boy, the drums at :36 sound so rigidly timed and metronome-like, and then the bass guitar line at :42 also sounds very robotic. The drums should have never been mixed that loudly over the melody and countermelody; the balance just doesn't make sense. Unfortunately, this all sounds so mechanical, which works more with chiptune sounds, but not sampled instruments that are meant to be organic. Some good original writing at 1:10 in the front, albeit thin. Melody returns more upfront at 1:24. Oof, some off-key chord attempt at 1:36. Texture got super empty at 1:50, without adequate padding. In pricinple, I liked the interpretiveness of the writing from 2:20-2:48. The chiptune sounds were the most expressive aspect of the track, which is odd to say. In any case, too rigidly sequenced, too thin, too unexpressive. prophetik also mentioned some of the wholesale cut-and-paste repetition, e.g. 3:31; some further variations in the writing would be a positive but just as a matter of principle, since this isn't anywhere near a state of passing. Your next goals should be properly padding the soundscape and exploring how you can make your instrumentation sound more humanized and expressive. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 That initial chippy synth has some autopan on it that is disorienting to me right away, it is so wide and the rate is super fast. The drums, bassline and backing synths are very rigidly timed. I hear that off-key chord Larry mentioned. I think both Brad and Larry covered most of what I would also say about this track: the sounds are simplistic and robotically timed, and the writing is repetitive. The drums are stiff other than the drumrolls which are actually quite good. Most of your elements are sitting in the dead center of the soundscape so much that I actually checked it in mono, and I can't tell that much of a difference other than that auopanned synth and some reverb here and there. That's a missed opportunity to utilize more of the soundscape to make a 3D mix. Intro and outro are pretty much bookends. The solo is a very nice touch, you'd do well to add even more writing personalization throughout the piece. I feel like you have a solid start here and you may want to drop this into our workshop forum for further feedback and advice. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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