*NO* Undertale "Synthetic Throne (Retrowave Mix)"

[Emunator ⚖️]

Artist Name: Noga Project

Honestly, it feels a bit heavyhearted sharing something here for the first time :)

My handle is lionovsky (IRL I used nick  Leva). To keep it short - spent a month crafting this, used basic FL Studio. This isn't my first cover - I previously made 8-bit arrangements though they didn't gain traction. Nowadays, after properly mastering my DAW, I started by reworking some old songs of mine before progressing to full-fledged remixes. I'd be delighted if you enjoy this.

PS: I'm actively uploading to my YouTube channel, but specifically saved this cover for OCReMix.

https://www.youtube.com/@lionovsky/

 

Edited 10 hours ago by paradiddlesjosh

[prophetik music ⚖️]

over 4db of headroom.

opens with a nice filtered synth fade-in, and similarly a lead that's initially very filtered and fades in. there's the first real hit of everything at 0:29, and it's a nice sound - bass has a lot of space as does the arp. percussion comes in around 0:47 and it's very simple. however, up to this point, we're just hearing what made asgore good - if anything, there's less here than the original. there's the first real break at 1:05, and it's also still pretty much straight from the original - just slowed down with some nice synth choices being made.

picks up at 1:26, and again, the vibe is nice, but there's nothing to my ear that's different from what instruments do in the original. there's a funky note at 1:44 that comes around a few more times after that. 2:05's shift is again a really nice texture - i love all the space in the synths. there's a filtered section after this as well, before a drop at 3:02. 

we get another run-through of the melodic material, and then a non-ending (not even a hard cut). that's a real bummer to end it.

gorilla in the room - i don't think there's enough arrangement here. i think that the synthwave vibe is really well-crafted, and the synth choices are great - but the asgore elements sound lifted in whole from the original, right down to the heavy delay on the lead track. there's so little noga project in terms of arrangement. if you'd personalized the melody line, or added harmonies, or updated chords, then i'd say this was great and ready to go since the mix sounds great. but what's here isn't enough arrangement. i think making it more yours would be so simple and easy! and then it'd be an easy yes vote. until then, though, i can't pass this.

separately, the lack of an ending is real bogus. even just landing on a chord would be enough, or doing a few bars of beat and bass before it drops. but what's here is almost worse than a hardstop ending because there's still some delay and verb elements hanging on, so it just sounds like you didn't render it right.

 

 

NO

Edited May 8 by prophetik music

[Liontamer ⚖️]

It'll seem like I disliked the piece when I mainly hear lots of unrealized potential. This was texturally empty, just way too thin and simplistic, which was unfortunate after a very promising intro with a cool sound. The volume of the elements in play doesn't make up for the relative lack of complexity here. Finally some beats come in at 1:26 to thicken things up more, but the part-writing is very straightforward and lacks that next level of sophistication.

prophetik said maybe there's not enough arrangement, and I get where he's coming from, but he's mistaken in how he attempted to articulate the issue. This is presented in a melodically straightforward manner, and that's fine. What was missing here was more complexity in the accompanying parts and more creativity in the sound design. This is already going in the right direction in terms of different instrumentation and different sound design, the combination of which does help this stand apart from the feel of the original, but clearly not enough yet based on prophetik's reaction. But this sounds like a work-in-progress, not a fully developed and finished piece.

Something like Charlie Atom's "Toriel's Pain" isn't where our bar has to be, but it's a great example of a melodically straightforward rendition with way more attention paid to the detail work of supporting writing that adequately fills in the textures, and killer sound design. That's not the bar, but it's a genuine North Star.

This is a solid start, Noga, but it still needs more writing complexity behind the melody and other sound design ideas to further personalize your take. Even if you don't end up reworking this one, you can definitely be proud of how far you've come with this. There's a lot of untapped potential though, so hopefully you keep developing your craft. If you haven't already, consider joining our Discord for more feedback and/or using our Workshop forum resources.

NO (resubmit)

[paradiddlesjosh ⚖️]

Adding a quick so-sign with my fellow Js.

One thing I'll point out as what I see as a detriment to this track: as well-established as the synthwave vibe is, there's a noticeable amount of repetition in each segment. Let's take the double-time at 1:26-2:05 for example: outside of a very subtle filter shift on the lead instrument, this whole segment sounds to me like four repeats of a four-bar phrase. Without fills or variations, these phrases grow stale quickly. And considering the melody line is carrying over from the build of the previous section, it's already worn out its welcome before the section is over. When LT is talking about the relative lack of complexity and sophistication, this is a big part of it. And I agree wholeheartedly with proph: the lack of a definitive ending is a big dealbreaker.

There's a strong start here, Noga Project; this track needs focus on the fine details and trim before it's ready for the front page. I second LT's suggestion about joining the OCR Discord server or checking out the Workshop forum if you're looking for advice or more options about finishing this one or making your next big track.

NO (resubmit)