OceansAndrew Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 A lot of improvements here, nice work. The arrangement still needs a lot of work, so i'll be glossing over production issues for the time being. One step at a time and all that. The arrangement is a lot more interesting and some of the synth leads you have going are pretty cool. If you are going to build the beat up, do it faster, it needs to feel like the fight suddenly is starting. Otherwise suddenly hitting with the beat full on would work too. The beat for the first section is pretty strange as well, i'm not really digging the placement of your snare. The 4 on the floor later on is better but still pretty generic. The beat near the end is decent as well. Transitions are an issue as well; you have some cool melodic ideas, but they don't flow together at all, and don't feel as cohesive as they need to. Also, it kindof devolves into a theme and variations, which is pretty boring. You need another section that breaks it up a bit more; something punchy and not the same 1234-1234-1234-1234 that the rest of the song goes. Use some syncopation and some stacatto hits. You have a great chorus in the part at 1:23, now you just need to build around that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 What do you mean by not flowing or not cohesive? They don't conflict very badly IMO =/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sephfire Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I'd try to comment, but my Mac doesn't seem to appreciate media.putfile.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 okay, seph i'll put it on megaupload. OA digs my song, so I'm sure you'll like it too. It's not to say that it doesn't need improvement tho hehe. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KN2ISB91 Enjoy jimmy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sephfire Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I don't know the source, so I can't offer much help as far as that goes. You've got a lot of cool little sections going on. The intro is moody and the voice mixes well in there. Having it panned solid so far right is a little strange, but nothing huge. You could add a subtle delay panned left if you wanted, just for fun. Good subtle reverb on it, though. Once the techno kicks in, the need for some extra mixing work becomes apparent. The drums in particular feel muddied-out by the mix. The kick almost vanishes completely before all the other parts have come in. It could use much more oomph, particularly when used in a trance-ish section where that steady kick means everything. The deep bass synth/string is mostly responsible for the muddiness, I think. The gated synth's sudden intro is a bit off-putting as well. I think your strongest section starts at 1:24. The rhythm synth sounds great and the bass synth/string sounds all the better by giving it some rests between notes. The best parts of the whole mix seem to be when that synth isn't clouding up everything. Overall, you definitely got some muddiness issues to fight. It's good that your mix has dynamics, bringing the energy up and down and keeping things interesting, but yours do so at seemingly arbitrary times. You might want to refine those a bit. The drums are ok, but not terribly interesting. I'm assuming there will be more added to the mix, as it doesn't really have an ending. You've got a decent idea, but there's plenty of work to be done. I strongly suggest listening to some remixes similar to the sound you're going for and trying to pick out how they sound different from your own. Keep working at it. No one mastered this stuff overnight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 Ah but I like being authentic (asides from the drums) , I can definitely make it more concrete and less muddy/easier to follow, but I want it to be abstract lol. Plus OA's gonna collab with me so I think this is gonna get done well. Thanks for input Sephire, means a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sephfire Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Not at all. I feel bad for neglecting these forums so much lately. I look forward to hearing what you two come up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 Not at all. I feel bad for neglecting these forums so much lately. I look forward to hearing what you two come up with. As do I...as do I >:- ) BTW we're gonna add some more voice acting if Mike Z is still alive/around these days. If not then I can look around some more I s'pose... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted October 12, 2007 Author Share Posted October 12, 2007 very seamless ethereal sounds, very zen-like in a dark way.The production quality is very good. I think the only thing that i am not sure about is the drum beat composition. First i would say that when the synths start to build, it would be good to start the percussion up as well before the actual beat, as a kind of primer, even if its just a reverse cymbal effect or something. Also i would say that it feels like the drum beat comes in either too early or too late, in the middle of a musical phrase other than that its sounding really good. Oh you DID say something about my remix...Lol and I told you to do so on another forum my bad x_X. Got an update of it now, thnx for the input as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrototypeRaptor Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Hey, I agree with everything that has been said. Nice mix, coming along nicely. IMO, the vocals could be a bit louder - they are very well done. There are so many sections of this song, I could go on and on and on...to summarize, I like all of the ideas compositionally. Very fluid transitions makes for some interesting listening, I'll give you that. Execution is a problem - particularly bass wise. That kick needs to be doubled, distorted a bit, eq'd - it needs some resonance, especially with the general vibe I feel. There's some distortion among the lows as well, look at the levels of the instruments you have playing to fix that. Overall, I really like what's happening here, just needs a little more production and it will be good to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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