*NO* Ys 'Save You Once More'

[Liontamer]

Contact Info

ReMixer: Black Box Opera

Name: Simon Plumaj

E-mail: redboxrazor@gmail.com

MySpace Music Site: http://www.myspace.com/blackboxopera

ReMix Info

Game: Ys, Book I & II

Song: See You Again

In the late 80s, video game music rose to insurmountable heights through a little RPG known as Ys. The CD version of this Turbo Grafx 16 masterpiece features amazing rearrangements by Japanese composer Ryo Yonemitsu that quickly set the standard for what music could do to define a gaming experience. The song See You Again is the ending theme to Ys: Book I and II.

Originally upbeat with a light feeling of sorrow to it, I took the song in a darker direction, adding some trance elements while trying to maintain a very game-like feel. Although my composition could never match those of the great Yonemitsu himself, I hope my remix of his great arrangement is something that would make him proud.

I have attached the song to this e-mail message. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. This is my first submission, and only one of several songs I've ever composed. Acceptance is never as worthwhile as progress.

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Ys & Ys 2 Eternal - (115) "See You Again"

Oooooh. Really unique intro, I'm loving it. It's really liberally based off the melody from :11-:13 of the source that it's essentially original, but I'm groove biasing all over it. When the lead came in at :38 though, the layered synths were ultra-generic, plus they sounded pretty lo-fi/lossy. Seems like once the textures became more complicated, you didn't know how to balance the parts effectively.

Man, you gotta do something different with that one lead. It came back at 1:50 & 3:53 and was just as unwelcome there. It just sounds abrasive and prevents things from sounding melodious. Better choice at 2:35, though I would have pulled back the volume of the supporting elements a little bit just for some more room in the soundfield. Adding that new instrument into the mix at 3:01 was a mixed bag. Good sound choice, but it only served to clutter things up more.

Your synth & percussion groove also got way too repetitive. I don't think you changed the foundation groove from :38 even once. It's a hot groove, and you might even be able to roll with it the whole way, but ONLY if the other sounds are well balanced and the arrangement displays better variation and dynamics via the rest of the composition.

Decent ending section at 4:45. The piano was a bit too tightly timed, but the style was good, so there wasn't anything really wrong with it. Man, if there had been some variation of that initial synth groove for the ending section, it would have been that much more creative.

On the arrangement side, I wasn't hearing quite enough direct connection to the source material. For a 5:15-long track, I need at least 2mins 37.5s (i.e. >50%) derived from the original. Yes, I'm going there.

Based off "See You Again" from the Ys & Ys 2 Eternal soundtrack, your arrangement seemingly breaks down like this:

:36-:47 of source ~ :25-:37, 1:50-2:03 & 3:53-4:05

:47-1:13 of source ~ :38-1:08, 2:03-2:32, 4:06-4:35 & 4:38-4:41

original writing ~ 2:35-3:01, 3:01-3:52 & 4:45-5:15

Source usage ~ :25-1:08, 1:50-2:32, 3:53-4:38 = 2min 10sec

In case there's something I missed, let me know, as it could mean the difference between 50% or not. In any case, I wasn't hearing quite enough arrangement of the source theme and would like to see more of it incorporated within the track to address those concerns.

More ties to the original, more groove variation, better sound choices on that one abrasive lead, and better sound balance are what'll get you to the big dance. Put your money where your mouth is and stick around here to learn more. I'd like to see you stay. Really cool first submission, Simon.

NO (resubmit)

[big giant circles]

I'm definitly liking the intro.

Yikes, until the trance-lead at :39. Way too detuned for my taste. And not just based on my personal preferance, that lead is just way too abrasive and invasive for the rest of the mix. Patches like that are best utilized for gating and support, and not so much a lead role like the one you've placed it into here.

The drumloop also could have used a little more variation. The very 80's-esque snare patch began to grate on me a little after a while. Also, the EQ in general seemed to favor the higher frequencies too much and left the bottom end to fight amongst itself for space to be heard, and it ended up causing a muddy blurry mess (Moreso through monitors than headphones, but still too much clamoring going on down there.)

Also, as is typical with most trance-type leads and instruments, both the lead and the saw synths have too much reverb going on which adds to the clutter.

As far as the arrangement, I think Larry covered that aspect pretty well, so I'll just tack my consensus alongside his.

Not a bad sub--some cool ideas, but still needs a bit of touching up and re-structuring in order to fully "get there"

NO

[JJT]

For a 5:15-long track, I need at least 2mins 37.5s (i.e. >50%) derived from the original. Yes, I'm going there.

Keep in mind, Larry is speaking for himself as far as this is concerned.

That being said, there's no such thing as incorporating too much of the source material, as long as its being interpreted significantly. Your submission would definitely benefit from some cleaner production, and maybe rethinking your choice of lead. LT and BGC are right on in this regard. As a small aside, the mixing on that piano at the end is pretty bad. Way to oo much verb, and it sounds like the mids and highs were boosted beyond what sounds natural.

However, you're showing a lot of promise with this submission. That intro is absolutely killer.

NO, RESUBMIT