Underwater Wonderland

[Kautzman]

Even More Edits: Minor re-balancing, Drums kinda messed around with. Minor changes.

More Edits: Finally got around to Normalizing Velocity, something which was long overdue. Fixed the majority of the layering problems by re-balancing the piece. This includes panning a few of the lines which does wonders for it. Played a little bit more with the drum lines in the name of "Interesting, yet fitting." Strings starting at 1:31 pending removal. They seem out of place until 1:43. DireDireFinal16 is the most recent currently. A few more fixes and I'll probably try to resubmit. Now I'm going to bed .

Edits: Bridge added at 2:05. Various parts rebalanced as an attempt to fix some of the layering problems. A few parts shortened, removed etc.

Original version was rejected but rightfully so, over the weeks that it was in submission status, I already had done a ton of work on it and got a lot of feedback so since then, it's been much improved from the original. I want to run it by this forum until I resubmit.

A few things I need suggestions and opinions on:

1. Right now, I have a quarter note bass drum moving the song almost the entire way through, I played with the sound a bit so it's to the point where you shouldn't "hear" it, but you "feel" it instead. Regardless, that line gets very boring but I really don't know how else to move the song without rocking the boat too much. Ideas and comments on how that line is now are most appreciated.

2. I played a bit with the idea of making a bit of a more interesting rhythm with cymbals starting at 3:06. Twas' an idea a friend had to spice things up a bit and I kinda like it but it's easy to like your own work so I'm looking for your opinion about such things as well . (This has been altered quite abit since.)

3. The piano descant from 1:54 - 2:05 is pending removal unless I can fix it. After hearing people's thoughts on it, I agree that it's out of place. (Has since been removed.)

4. Comments on instrument choice are very much appreciated. Forever, I've been stuck arranging piano music so my tastes in instruments are far from refined.

5. In the judges review, they mentioned layering problems, something I also agree with now looking back, the current build posted here has very minor adjustments to help start solving those problems but for the most part, the conflict of layers still exists. Now, what I'm scared of doing is removing/blending/oversoftning the lines to the point where you don't really get to hear everything and then suffers from the opposite where there is no content at all. Suggestions on how to fix this mess are more than welcome. (Layering has been redone since. Things Mesh a lot better but I'm still looking for critiques.)

Link to most recent build: http://www.mkautzman.com/DireDireFinal17.mp3

Link to traditional build: http://www.mkautzman.com/DireDireFinal.mp3

Alternate Instruments for the synth descant that takes over during the end (Currently in use. Due for some further changes yet, but nothing major.): http://www.mkautzman.com/AlternateInst.mp3

Original Rejected build for those curious: http://www.mkautzman.com/DireDire.mp3

[Cyril the Wolf]

To help with the layering problem, some how drop that cool pad back a little bit more. Or give it a bit more in the way of reverb. I really like the background noises, but they could be quieted down a bit through the quiet parts, I know it seems like they should stay there but it may help.

That piano descant shouldn't be piano, that's the problem in my mind. It should be some sort of leady synth instrument probably... even a harp sound would do it better in my mind. Unless you just want to remove it. As far as the layering, I think you would be a huge amount ahead by lowering down that cool pad, becuase I can hear how it messes with everything else. I like the fact that it builds up as it does, and the synth descant actually doesn't come up enough, but let me see if your altrenate is any better.

Okay, find the middle ground between the altrenate and what you currently have, and I think you will be on your way.

Keep in mind that I am very inexperienced compared to some who hang around this part of the forums, so there probably is a lot more that could be improved upon, these are just the things I hear.

[Rozovian]

There's little I can say. This sounds like something I would have included on the ocr cds I gave my parents for xmas, so I think it's ocr-quality. It is, tho, in the more boring end of ocr-quality material, but I get the feeling this is a remix for chillin', so I can overlook that.

Towards the end, tehre's some kind of traditional synth, square or so, that plays something reminiscent of Tallon Overworld. Using a crystal pad or something like that might help, but rearranging its timing would porbably be ideal.... in addition to finding a more high-quality instrument. The last playthrough could be with the square synth tho, that's something I remember from listening to tracker songs, something I like.

I'm a little concerned the main melody is just copy-pasted from source, so some interpretation would be nice. If I was a judge, I'd relisten to the source and if there's no interpretation of the source lead melody, I'd give this a borderline NO. But, that's _if_.

In other words, boring, but enjoyable.

[Kautzman]

I'm a little concerned the main melody is just copy-pasted from source, so some interpretation would be nice. If I was a judge, I'd relisten to the source and if there's no interpretation of the source lead melody, I'd give this a borderline NO. But, that's _if_.

Truth be told, it's built quite heavily off the original melody and maintains a lot of the original melody in the song. What's altered heavily is the background. The melody in my song has small alternations but nothing much larger than an extra note here and a grace note there.

Something I did consider when making this is how conservative it is. Obviously, it remains a problem to some degree .

Thanks a ton for the feedback. It's always appreciated