A few comments I wrote when I read these the first time:
Random Hajile - To You;
It did not sound like shakespeare, although it sounds like you enjoy that style.
This was very fun to read, but the first word that came to my mind was "pretentious".
That said though: I don't like it.
Barnsalot - Night's Bygone Fantasy
Sort of like Random Hajile's problem, except you can't pull it off nearly as well.
Advice: stick to language you are comfortable with
OK people, what's with this trend of trying to sound like you're writing from another time period?
Kholdstare - Semiconductor
<3