Maybe I can do something about the flute and the clarinet by adding more dynamics to them. I also have another clarinet sound with hefty vibrato, but I think it's a bit out of place in an arrangement like this. I prefer the simple one. Of course, the whole mix would sound much better if it would have been played on real instruments...but I only have that keyboard, so I have no other choice
I think the pauses in the original are the same, no drums and no other sound until beat 4, sometimes there is a drum fill with one hit before beat 4, but most of the time it's as empty, and with all the drums and other thingies going on in the original, I think the pause is even more noticable there.
But a friend of mine whom I showed the WIP a few hours ago also disliked it, but could not give me a reason for it, he said he didn't like the rhythm and also doesn't like the melody too much.
Oh yeah, and by the way, I will add percussion to the later parts of the mix, just the beginning is so laid-back (and I think this is kinda cool in some way)
You're absolutely right. The main difference lies in the fact that your mix is (I'm guessing) 112 BPM and the original is (also guessing) 184 BPM. As a result, one beat of rest in your piece is .5357 seconds, whereas a beat of rest in the .spc is but .3261 seconds, making your pause (even though it is the same number of beats) 164% as long in real time. But some drums and other percussion should alleviate that feeling of hanging and give the song a smoother feel.
Yes, I'm a nerd.