Hey I really like the sound of this mix. Really suits the melody of the song. I think what you have going sound-wise is really good and most of the feedback that I can think of is more about the structure and presentation of it.
1. I think it's a tad repetitive. Unfortunately it's the nature of this song because there isn't a whole lot of source material to work with. So what the original lacks in diversity needs to be made up with instrumentation, rhythm or style. For Instance, the main melody part appears at 0:20 and 1:10 but they sound the same but with only 1 synth removed. what would really benefit this remix is some variety in the repeated parts. Try having new lead instruments entirely or changing up the bass rhythm.
2. This kind of goes with point number 1. The mix is really punchy and I think what might be a nice addition is some suspended chords, ARP's, notes or SFX over the time. Maybe something in the high end to smooth it out a bit? That will give it some more context and the punchy parts will sound even heavier in comparison to the overtones that you put it in.
3. 1:42 i'm a big fan of. The melody is busy here so you don't need to add much. Maybe double up the lead synth? I like the change in the bass here.
4. You could try making 0:20 - 0:38 a bit more of a gradual rise and make 0:38 a bigger section. Gives it a but more dynamics rather than being full force most of the time. Just a suggestion.
Overall it sounds great man I really hope you keep working on it. Can't wait to hear more from this!