First of all, really tight playing, very nice! I'm feeling that heart rate expansive vibe from beginning to end, job well done for sure.
If I'd have to give some constructive feedback I'd say:
- The arrangement could do with some more change in dynamics; for example, when the new theme kicks in at 00:53, the rhythm guitars keep bashing on like they did before, but maybe longer strokes rather than staccato hits would bring out the drama of the melody some more by allowing for it to stand out. 2:29 does that very nicely: the rhythm guitar suddenly changes to unison and this contrasts really well with the previous section, making for renewed tension. In general, maybe a bit more contrast between sections in terms of rhythm guitar & drums would benefit the structure of your version. You have to keep the listeners on their toes, they have to crave for the feeling that the next section will bring
- The drums seem to start out of nowhere; a few cursory kick drum hits and bam, full on double bass antics. Actually, the whole dynamics-contrast thing I just touched upon also goes for the drums. Constant double bass and going full out loses its power after a short while. Maybe try experimenting with some different drumming patterns, some half-time riffs, ask a drummer with an electronic drum kit to provide you with some MIDI-files of actual drumming etc.?
Where the mixing is concerned, the first step would be to create some more clarity and punch by purging most of the bass frequencies. The bass frequencies should be reserved for the kick drum and the bass in this kind of genre, and the guitars should not interfere (as much). As soon as the low end sounds clearer, you'll see that everything will have a lot more punch and impact.
However, in general I'm really feeling the vibe and digging it! Nice job!