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Super Mario Bros. 2 - "Waking Toll"


JH Sounds
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Ummm. Well, the ambient sounds were pretty interesting, but this mix goes nowhere. It needs a ton of work, but there's potential. Try adding some melodies (or at least counter-melodies) of your own, and change it up from time to time. I don't think you can do this with only one instrument and a pad. A good rule of thumb is that if someone skips from 1/4 into the song to 3/4 in, it should should sound distinctly different or at least more developed. So good luck!

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I was expecting a fat beat to come in around 30 seconds or so, but it just keeps on with the Enya feel, which isn't really a bad thing, but like I said, I was expecting some beats and some variation. Also, I was hoping that the notes would be more accurate to the source. It seems that the extra notes just take away - Sometimes less is better and it would be better to have some sort of pause or change in instrumentation to set the main line from the bridge. This is more like one drawn out singular theme, which is nice and pleasant, but you could do so much more.

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PRODUCTION

[X] Drums have no energy

STRUCTURE

[X] Lacks coherence overall (no "flow")

[X] Not enough changes in sounds (eg. static texture, not dynamic enough)

[X] Pace too plodding

[X] Too repetitive

PERSONAL COMMENTS (positive feedback, specifics on checklist criticisms, any other thoughts)

I put a check for the drums because -- where are the drums? I myself can only listen to a drumless piece for so long until it starts to grate on me, unless it is a particularly well-written piece that just doesn't lend itself to drums. This is not the case with this piece, unfortunately. Need to throw something in there, even if it's just low-key.

I couldn't find much in the piece in terms of direction. It didn't seem to be GOING anywhere or have much of a purpose other than an airy-floaty feel that didn't inspire much.

Sounds/synths could use some change-up; some are used for far too long.

When it does try to go somewhere, it usually seems to wind right back where it began with just a few new synths layered on top of the old ones this time around.

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Writing as I listen.

Now first of all: A song doesn't necessarily need drums. So far, I don't think there needs to be any here. It could work perfectly fine without some forced beat in the background, given that the intro implies this will be a lullaby-kind of a song.

Now, what buggers me immediately, are the strings. Is it just one note at first? Doesn't really work imo. Also the sample could be better.

Some velocities in the main melody would be nice.

The bells are simple, but I like them. If they sounded more like church bells, I would probably like them more.

K, done listening.

What you have here, is good imo. It doesn't aim to be epic, but instead it's a little song that's trying to fit in with the big ones (if that made any sense to you), and therefor I like it. Not every track needs to be grand size. I imagine if there was a Mario play (as in theater), this kind a song could be played when the show is drawing to an end.

Fix the strings, and try to make the bells more "church-like" (you know what a church bell sounds like) with some echo, not too much naturally, and after that put some minor velocity changes on the key notes of the main instrument, and you'll have a great little track here.

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