Liontamer Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=14308 metaphist aka Paul Ford pauleford@gmail.com Forum ID #8822 Little Nemo: The Dream Master Ending Theme Sorry for the wait, guys. I was excited that the complaints on the first sub were minimal, and I actually did most of the edits that same month. But I didn't want to rush it, so I let it sit while coming back to it periodically to make sure I liked it. Other obligations got the better of me, and before I knew it, a few months had already gone by. After letting this sit for months, I finally realized I should probably just submit it before I get sidetracked again! I don't have the same time I used to for music... I think the major issue from before had to do with fleshing out the main sections a little more. I approached that by adding a layer of piano chords in the two main sections. Some had a problem with the slow section in the middle being a bit too long, but there was really no way to shorten it without losing the feel. So this is it. Maybe this getting excepted would motivate me to finish up my many other idle tracks! ----------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.zophar.net/download_file/9083 - Track 19 Funny, this was too quiet before, but now it seemed on the loud side with this version. The beats from :41 ended up a bit too loud, IMO. The pad from 1:48-2:06 & 2:35-3:19 was too loud as well and muddied up the soundscape. I'd say tweak that. Now I'm not saying you can't ever repeat things, as there was a good deal of substance/variation in the arrangement. But 3:23 felt like too much of a cut-and-paste from :42's section and really weakened the finish IMO. Didn't sound like there was anything different until the move to the resolution at 4:00. Even something subtle like a change in the supporting writing or rhythms/beat patterns would have made the ending feel fresh instead of drawn out. Nice stuff at 4:09 for the very end. I could see this passing at this rate, and I still like it, but I think this should be tweaked one more time for the win with those minor volume issues and refining the final section. NO (refine/resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Cool instrument choices in the intro. The almost granular pad is a nice sophisticated texture, me like! The bass is a bit on the generic side but the superb writing (really!) outweighs that. Actually this is full of interesting writing. The main chromatic percussion is well handled and so's the electric piano. I think the beats and pad are a bit on the loud side, just like Larry pointed out. Tweak 'em! Otherwise the production is quite ace. As I said, very cool choice of sounds that works well together. I don't really agree with Larry that the cut-paste hurts the track. What's there is absolutely interesting enough to be repeated and you've added strings on the left hand that gives it that extra flair. The ending was pretty cool too. I say this is good enough for a yes if you fix the slight volume issues. If you want to do some changes in the final section while you're at it, be my guest, but it's not necessary to get my yes. YES(conditional on volume fixes) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Always happy to see a resubmit that takes our comments into account. It's nice to know there's a purpose to me explaining my YES or NO. I don't have the last version anymore, but looking at my old comments, I think they're addressed pretty well here. Volume is good, lead is stronger, good balance and clarity. It feels more dynamic. I think I'm comfortable with this as is, no conditional. Nice work! YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zykO Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 agreed with vinnie here. when a resub actually sounds like a product of our suggestions, it's a sign that you're serious about getting it passed. your changes paid off with me this is pretty good. i'm liking that upbeat groove to it and the arrangement is quite varied and interpretive. the instrumentation comes in pretty loud in spots... mostly the pad although i love the pad instrument itself. the track on the whole is very happy indeed, not that i'd think it was accidental considering the source and all, but it is effective in being chirpy. i'm all about the chimes at the end of the track. i think they're funky cool and as awkward as the volume levels are, the whole thing is ready to go. fix the levels and this done. YEScond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zircon Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 An exemplary resub... this really addressed the issues I had with the mix volume and production. The only issue I have now is at 2:46 or so the pads cause a little bit of clipping. A bit of EQ to remove some of the low-mid freqs that are building up, and/or the lows, would almost definitely help. Also, easing up on the volume of the drums like everyone else suggested would be a good idea too (~2db or so maybe.) I think these are easy enough fixes that a cond YES is all we need here. YES conditional Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big giant circles Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I don't believe I heard the original submission, so I suppose I'm giving this one a fresh listen. LOVE the glitchy pad right off the bat. Somehow I feel compelled to say something about Omnisphere now, but I wont. Crap, I just did, didn't I? Second impulse is this reminds me a lot of Ziwtra's Blue Shooting Star mix. The drum groove, and all the shimmering, sparkling textures throughout. It's a very lovely piece to tap one's toes to, and it's full of warm fuzziness. I really dig the reverse delay effects, and I actually really enjoyed the chime outro. I agree that the levels are a bit harsh at times, and I'm going to concur that ideally they should be brought down a couple dB before this gets posted. Without opening it up in Soundforge, I think the pad at 2:40 is actually clipping. On the arrangement end, I really like the jazzy, yet laid back vibe that this piece has. This is a really enjoyable track. I can't really think of a better word for it. Fix da volume/clipping. Welcome to the site! YEP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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