POCKETMAN Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 http://ZimishOne.googlepages.com/NewSubmerged.mp3 This is a re-work of a piece that got no'd about 18 months again. Been working with it little by little. Not sure if I will ever submit it again. But feedback and help would be great! Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 It's quiet. Well, after 1:22 it gets louder. Too loud, in comparison. But you should raise stuff, most of it is too quiet. Your additional drums at 1:46 are way too loud by comparison, they're the only one needing to be toned down. Overall, volume balance and velocities need work. Heh, took me 1:22 'til I recognized it. And it was right there all along. The progression until then is, btw, repetitive. It also gets repetitive thereafter. I don't have a problem with the changing styles, but others might find it less than cohesive. As for source/interpretation, I'm fine with this, I think it's in the green, but the repetitiveness is gonna be a problem. Piano is really lacking in definition, needs more highs and lows. Raising velocity could fix that too. The koto sounds very dry, and there's something fishy about the timing when it comes in. It's also panned a bit too far to sound balanced. At 1:08 I'm once again reminded of how the piano sound is just... cut off towards its highs. The woodwind you've got there sounds like it's got more highs than the piano. There's a shaker/hihat, some hi-range rhythm thing coming in during the 0:20 section, and it just feels like arbitrary filler that's neither rhythm nor soundscaping, just noise. Your percussion ain't very good here, imo. The one panned far left is especially exposed and just... bad. You could improve it with finding the right balance of reverb, EQ, and not panning it that hard. By the way, you should use drums to emphasize beats, not serve as just soundscape and fills. Without it, the track gets weak in the latter half when it's supposed get stronger. Overall, I like this, but I'm not surprised it was rejected back when. It could be good, tho. Good luck reworking it, if you do. Please take the time to answer the questions in this post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
POCKETMAN Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 http://remix.thasauce.net/songs/POCKETMAN_SuperMarioWorld-UnderDepth_RTS.mp3 This is actually what I submitted. So, as you can see I have re-worked it a lot. But I do plan on much more. Ya, I hate percussion. Ha. I may just cut it. Thanks for the feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darklink42 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Well, it's a vast improvement over the original, to be sure. However, I have to say that this sounds more like a sampler of different directions you could go in without having picked any one specificly. But you do have cohesion to it, and that's a good thing. That being said, pick one of the four styles you have going here and take the song in that direction. Honestly, it feels like half of the song is an intro. As a matter of fact, there was another WIP where I said the same thing, and it applies here. Chop that intro down, and get to the unique bit of the song or just make the song longer. Either way, this feels too short in it's content. I don't agree with Rosovian on all of his points, but bringing down the EQ on the louder section would also be recommended. I didn't get blown away the first time I heard it, but head-phones changed my opinion greatly. I'm pleasantly surprised you actually make music. For all the pretension and delays you put into this sort of thing, you actually don't do too badly. Get your act together and you might be a remixer yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
POCKETMAN Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 I'm pleasantly surprised you actually make music. For all the pretension and delays you put into this sort of thing, you actually don't do too badly. Get your act together and you might be a remixer yet. Ha. Ya, i've actually been mixing for a while dude. I just rarely ever (twice) submit anything. I'm more about projects rather then my own personal mixing. But thank you. And thanks for the feedback. I think I will actually try to turn this into something. This game isn't mixed enough. Not recently anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSneak Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I agree that for such a big, highly followed title, Mario World isn't mixed enough. It's my favorite of the Mario platformers. Many claim Mario 3 is their favorite, but I see even less remixes there. I applaud what you've done here so far. It's contemplative and enjoyable, but it's not something I'd add to my collection. It may be a matter of taste, but for me, it doesn't carry enough of a melody for me to really be able to enjoy it. I want to get into the groove, you know, and I can't find myself doing that here. You are the musician, good sir, so I will let you take from that comment what you please. But whatever you do, good luck with your mix! Long live SMW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escariot Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Just because you like a game more than another doesn't necessarily mean that you remix the music from that game more than others... Sometimes, you don't have a workable OST for an enjoyable game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSneak Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Yes, I fully understand that, but if music is of comparable quality, generally the more popular game gains more mixes. It's a matter of interest and inspiration, on top of the quality of the source that gets things mixed. I'm sure you know that, though. Certainly a lot has been done with very little in many cases. Metroid's "secret room" song being an extreme example, Mario 64's "file select" screen being another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
progressive Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I'm going to break from the rest here and say that the first minute of your original submit is how you're going to get in here. Flesh it out, develop it, but don't stray too far, get too disjointed, or let it get too sparse, which is what happened to the rest. The final product has to be cohesive. You captured Super Mario World perfectly in that one minute. I'm sure your can do it with three or four more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
POCKETMAN Posted September 25, 2008 Author Share Posted September 25, 2008 I'm going to break from the rest here and say that the first minute of your original submit is how you're going to get in here. Flesh it out, develop it, but don't stray too far, get too disjointed, or let it get too sparse, which is what happened to the rest. The final product has to be cohesive. You captured Super Mario World perfectly in that one minute. I'm sure your can do it with three or four more. Thanks. I never really thought of just redoing it. With more depth and length. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Left-ear brass sounds too dry (e.g. around 0:30), as does the center (e.g. at 0:20) but the right-ear one is more annoying imo. Some transitions need work, check 0:40, 0:54, 1:07, and 1:55. The whole 1:50-2:10 section feels redundant. High frequencies are too loud by comparison. You seem to have forced a transition onto 0:50, and that makes the cymbal sound misplaced. Timing problem after the 0:50 crash when you're changing tempo. I can hear individual reflections in the reverb there too... And that's not a good thing. See what you can do about that. You've changed it a lot since last version. I like it, but it feels like you've used too many styles. Might work if you can blend it together more, but you might want to cut some styles from this, make it more cohesive. I do like the strength you've managed to put into it. Listeners, please take the time to answer the questions in this post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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