TheHands Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Game: Dungeon Explorer System: TurboGrafx-16 Song: Overworld Theme Wanted to give this song a shot basically since I started learning music, decided to see what I could come up with from FL. First Version: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7135219 Second Version: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7152972 Third Version: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7221359 Current Version: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7540822 Source: Starting at 2:52 (everything before that is earlier in the sound track) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kmH0MaI1lw I appreciate all feedback. Just bare in mind that I'm still new to FL, and generally know jack about mixing/mastering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHands Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 This is a bump. I know it's not Sonic, Squeenix, or Nintendo, but please give feedback. Just because it's obscure doesn't mean right away that it won't be worth listening to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Dude, grow some patience. I can hear the source. Nice take on the source, but it could use some more melodic interpretation. You did something towards the end that was pretty good, just needs more of that. Drums need come in stronger on the beat when they get going. The drum intro was fine, but too loud compared to the rest of the drum track. Should crash into the track at 0:40 instead of falling into a loop. Also, no hihat, just occasional nudges on the ride? Dude, think like a drummer. Almost everything is a little too exposed here. The first melody instrument could use some subtle cuts to its attack and EQ. Needs more variation too, at least in the writing. The instrumentation doens't bother me, you could get by fine with those (may have to tweak them and, of course, process them). Transitions need work too, you just end each section hard, needs to transition more naturally from one block of music to the other. There. Good luck with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHands Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 Sorry if I seem like I'm trying to rush it, if I don't work on it while I still have the drive to do so, I'll never finish it. I actually like the original a lot, and I don't want to see this project die like the rest of mine do. Thanks much for the feedback, I was worried that it'd be too repetitive. I'll see what I can do to fix that. I'll also introduce the guitar-ish thing earlier on, since that's what plays with the melody the most. It was included almost as an afterthought, but it seems to be the most important part based on everyone I've showed this track to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHands Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 Updated. Did some playing with the hats, but I'm not sure I'm going to keep them as is. Varied the main melody, introduced a few things earlier for coherency. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7152972 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Quirky synth-poprock instrumentation, I like it. I can hear you're a beginner, but that's alright. The a-part has a good drive, especially the second time around. There's variations, and there's structure. I like how you build each part each time they come around again. I *love* that fake electric guitar. It's fake, but it sounds great. It sounds like not all the notes are exactly on the beats. How did you enter the notes? I don't know anything about FL, but humour me anyway. You might want to quantize, although the wavering does add life into it. It should be on purpose of course. Or maybe I'm just hearing things. The intro is a bit long. When the beat and bass come in at 00:40, there should be a crash cymbal or something to emphasize it. Now it just ..starts. In the b-part, the upper notes on bass sound like a separate instrument, it's does not sound like realistic playing imo. I like your basslines otherwise. Drumming is overtly busy, simplifying a bit would make it more a solid groove. High-speeding is ok. --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHands Posted January 9, 2009 Author Share Posted January 9, 2009 Newest version, took a few things into consideration and started adding the sort of changes I want to the sounds to try to make it a little more full. Shorter intro, less ADHD drumming, and slightly more controlled mixing. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7221359 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 quick comments: The intro is better (I still miss that crash cymbal hit I mentioned ) and you've fixed the weird bass notes, good! Drumming's better too. I (continue to)really like how you build/layer things as the piece progresses. And the basslines too. --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHands Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7540822 Finally found the time to do some more work on this piece. Now it's got the crash in the beginning and more work done for the EQ. Otherwise, there isn't too much changed. Just updating for the sake of keeping this song alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulinEther Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Your version has a lot of energy (probably because of the drum sequence). But some of your drummage strikes me as weird. I think those are toms - they seem just randomly placed in here and there, but without particular meaning. I also think the drums are rather loud with respect to the rest of the instruments. They're too exposed. Could have transitioned better into :48-1:02. I think those are toms here too, they just seem so out of place. Try something else other than the toms. Or maybe make them softer. They just strike suddenly out of nowhere pretty loudly. The inclusion of that short fake guitar solo is awesome. Really added something and satisfied my need for something new. And carrying over the guitar through till the end of the mix worked. Still, your mix needs more changes to the source throughout. And I think you have a great opportunity to do so in the introduction, or, perhaps, you should reprise the introduction in a modified way at some point, probably after the solo, and build on some new take on the source and try to resolve this puppy (or whatever term of endearment you use to describe this work ). I don't really like the resolution of this piece. It seems somewhat haphazard and I think it could be due to the fact that you're mostly just alternating between two chords (i'm still working on hearing and understanding chord progressions so I might be off.) Overall I want this piece to be longer! And, maybe, the chords to go somewhere too lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I'll have to say I really like the toms in the part where the piano plays the little two-note melody (00:48 onwards and before the solo). You could try to make them 8th note later to be more groovalicious (just an idea to try out if you like). I agree some of the tom fills are placed strangely, bar 12 instead of 16 which would sound more natural. I'm all for strange stuff but it's a bit flow-breaking and not working really well. Might be because they're slightly loud/stand out in the mix. --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHands Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Your version has a lot of energy (probably because of the drum sequence). But some of your drummage strikes me as weird. I think those are toms - they seem just randomly placed in here and there, but without particular meaning.I also think the drums are rather loud with respect to the rest of the instruments. They're too exposed. Could have transitioned better into :48-1:02. I think those are toms here too, they just seem so out of place. Try something else other than the toms. Or maybe make them softer. They just strike suddenly out of nowhere pretty loudly. The inclusion of that short fake guitar solo is awesome. Really added something and satisfied my need for something new. And carrying over the guitar through till the end of the mix worked. Still, your mix needs more changes to the source throughout. And I think you have a great opportunity to do so in the introduction, or, perhaps, you should reprise the introduction in a modified way at some point, probably after the solo, and build on some new take on the source and try to resolve this puppy (or whatever term of endearment you use to describe this work ). I don't really like the resolution of this piece. It seems somewhat haphazard and I think it could be due to the fact that you're mostly just alternating between two chords (i'm still working on hearing and understanding chord progressions so I might be off.) Overall I want this piece to be longer! And, maybe, the chords to go somewhere too lol. Biggest problem is that the original source pretty much drones on two chords for the chorus (arpeggiated, making up the main melody used in the intro/etc) and four very minor changes in two root chords for the verse (the one with the piano as lead, rather than the synth). Usually when I start to go further with it, I end up going too far to the point where I don't even recognize it. I'll see what I can do to shake it up a bit though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulinEther Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 And I'll be waiting for your updates. Cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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