HoboKa Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 http://www.fileupyours.com/view/218181/The_Femme_Fatalles_of_Space_verA1.mp3 Got this wip, whippin' away I *gasp* made a semi decent bassline!! And I think the progression is pretty OCR-savvy, but I'll let you guys decide that x_X, knowing how wrong I can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Hoboka... you have no source. How am I gonna yell at you for being too liberal (or conservative, but knowing you... lol)? You take the fun out of my life Anyhow, not bad at all. The swelling strings shouldn't swell for every note, as they are now, so I'd change the sample used. The drums are good, but not for the style your going for. I'd look for a more 'electronica' or 'techno' sounding drumset. The synths you use sound great. After a while, though, they get stale, so I would change the texture up every so often - it'll help. This is good, as it is, even though I can't compare to the source... Post the source and I can give some better feedback Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8YUKzyE9ig I had to look up the original, the whole time going 'Iknowthisone!Iknowthisone!ohohoh!' Anyways, lets see here, if I remember how to do this. The Good I like the very short metal sounding 'hits' in the intro used with the open hi-hat. The break at 1:24 I like, really pulling out those chords. (some day, I'll know everything I want about chrods, sounds like a minor something or other) I'm glad to see some of those PAINFULLY HIGH notes from the origional toned down a bit. Not sure what the origional composer was thinking 'Sir, boss fight not hard enough, make the music hurt too!' The Bad On drum intros and builds, I loves my dynamics. I would say the toms at 26 seconds could use a little bit of dynamic contrast. Varry your hi-hat a little bit to make it sound more human maybe? A 16th note here and there and/or velocity changes + stacking. The drums near the end get a bit repeditive. Needs at least an occasional cymbol or open hat to keep things fresher. Piano comes in at 51 seconds. While the echo is sometimes nice, there are also times when it gets in the way and ends up sounding like akward double hits. eg. 1:01 The drum solo ending that you've got screams 'BUILD UP TO THIS' but as is, it's just kinda thrown on the end. The Other This piece may rely too much on sustained chords over the top of the drums, especally near the end, where I find myself just getting bored. This is a problem with the origional as well, but I'm distracted by the whole jumping shooting thing in the game. <Removed, see huge text wall of death for explanation> A tad on the short side at 2:25. Some songs this works better for, some it doesn't. I could definatley see this being longer. That's all for now. -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 24, 2009 Author Share Posted January 24, 2009 Well as for one thing, it's not done, hence the drum fill at the ending. I usually post wips that are only half done so I can leave in tons of room for change. And are you sure you listenned to the lead properly?? It varies a ton from the bland original lead if I varied it any more, it'd become too liberal. And if I didn't make the chords sustained, it would sound like I was completely changing the song, since most of it relies on that. HOWEVER, I will definitely look into changing up drums as Gario said and the 2nd part with the distorted drums will get a lead to make it interesting. Sorry about the confusion guys - shoulda stated that this is more of a skeleton than a complete song. And thanks for commenting - I will attend to the issues that I see fit to change. Keep on reviewin' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 In reference to the ending: Erm, you had 3 sentences to describe the song in the first post; how was I supposed to know it's a skeleton? (I'm new and lazy, I don't know people yet, and I'm still learning my software) are you sure you listenned to the lead properly? Nope8-O I pop in here to point out the things that I hear. The lacking in original content bit could be cleared up if I'd added a bit more to it. "Mix seems to be lacking in original content somewhat" Actually, I'll edit that post and take that out. I wouldn't be surprised if that was supposed to go on someone else's and I got my open windows mixed up. I'm leaning towards this, because that comment makes no sense. Total Posts: 1,517 (1.64 posts per day) I'm trying to figure out the bit where I tell the guy with 1,500 posts what I (>50) think the Judges want? Which might mean that I told some other poor bastard that his source was hard to use because of the nature of the origional song. Now, as much as I like talking, putting thoughts about sounds into words is not easy. I like to justify what I'm saying. 'I'm bored with these chords, when does the end get here?' doesn't help much. Niether does 'dude, this is gr8, submit dis!' Let me try that again: Something about the coherence when you get the the sustained chords I don't like. When you lose that echo-lead that I like, the chords feel empty for too long, you do have something holding the melody, but it's weak in comparison to that first synth. There's alwalys the high bell part, or some sort of short note playing in the origional to keep it going, but it alwalys seems to have equal weight. I notice the origional has that low thing at transitions that I think is kinda cool that may work in yours. Or something else stronger. As alwalys, all my comments, are my opinions. AND I TALK A LOT I'm here trying to poke holes in something I usually like (I'm listening to day of despair - chaos angel remix3 now, unsubmitted other than here for review) That alone is hard enough for me, and I usually stand by 90% of what I say. Hell, this is miles beyond what I can do, here's the last thing I did: http://www.mediafire.com/?yjztgnwyke2 which is IMO not even up to the level of being peer reviewed here. So I have this fun time of not being able to do this stuff and going: HI, I'M NEW! HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO A) C), BUT ALSO THINK *stuff* If it helps someone, great. If not, disreguard it; at least I'm not just lurking here:-P Now, I have to go hunt down the post where the comment was supposed to go and fix that I will attend to the issues that I see fit to change. Keep on reviewin' Hell yes! Don't do what I say jus cause I say it. I never expect people to change everything I comment on, I just address all the maybes I can think of. If it were certainties I were addressing, I'd have less posts with less words. I talk too much anyway. <end of text wall here> -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 haha, no worries. I don't mind, in fact I took another serious look at my song and I realized that the breakdown part IS bland. So, I'm making that section half as long, though i don't know what to do after that, because I don't want to make the transition after the breakdown to be the exact same. And welcome aboard to OCR , just try to avoid posting in the general chat w/e u do , cuz the rabid elitists roam that "territory" of cyberspace and they will chew you up then spit you out. Good luck in your feature endeavors and thanks for the comments Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 I've been sticking to this, and looking at judge comments. Mostly playing with cakewalk at this point and so on. You know, I never did find where that comment was supposed to go. Might have been in one of the comment sections I aborted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 http://www.fileupyours.com/view/218181/MP3_Gendrayda%20remix_ver22mc2.mp3 better?? (its still not done, got another set of bars to go methinks) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I am told you have exceeded your monthly bandwidth allowance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Thanks for the source, dude, but now we can't listen to the track How sad. BTW Hewhoisiam, I just listened to your most recent track. You don't want it peer reviewed, but I'm going to anyway, so brace yourself! I don't see why you don't post up here - this isn't half bad, IMO. This is Norfair II from Super Metroid, right? The interpretation is slightly conservative, but the style is interesting enough niterpretation for this, so no problem there. The deep swells are interesting and keep the song together, but should be used a little more sparing than they are. Sometimes the harmony is odd, but tweeking the harmonies isn't too hard. I'd recommend sticking to the original harmonies a bit more until you get an ear for what works and what doesn't (which just takes time, practice and some peer reviews to guide you). The lead starting at 1:01 is odd, I'd change the instrument there to something with less built-in polyphony. Your drums are very well done - I'd recommend some dynamic work, but still very nice. The EQing is very well done, as well - something I don't normally say, so kudos Not OC material, but still an interesting interpretation of the piece. See, that didn't hurt, right? Post your stuff here on the WIP forums - it's what it's there for! Please, I love looking over other people's stuff and helping when I can... ..and sorry, Hoboka, for reviewing someone else's music on your thread. I'd love to give you more feedback when you fix the link. Post more, Hewhoisiam, and fix the link, Hoboka! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 XD, so as to not de-rail this thread, I'll start a WIP thread for the track I linked, with a little bit of explanation as to what is what. HoboKa - Get you a fine free MediaFire account to share your werk in the mean time With the bandwidth exceeded on this one, we can't download this one what meks me sad. I dun wanna wait 6 days to download it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 Now I can terrorize this site with my music on a new hosting program. > muahahah. http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7c3b598e29b531ea6e5be6ba49b5870170 thoughts? (by the way, still got about 8-16 bars to go so its not quite all done yet) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 1:52 A drum transition just feels out of place here, or at least the toms. As it is now, other then your intro transition, there aren't a lot of heavy tom type fills in the song. The origional (if I'm not mistaken) uses that really low transition sound with percussive hits; but I don't think that would sound good here either. Maybe just a toned down transition. Near the end there is a more background synth playing that seems to be off. Like intentionally played in the wrong key. I have to admit that I'm not the best at recognizing wrong notes. I just learned about pitch shifting wheel style in half steps, that can really change a sound. Maybe you can put it back in whatever key, or just shift a few of the notes to still maintain that otherworldly minor slightly 'off' sound, but make the majority of it sound right. As is, it seems to stand out too much with that sound that feels like wrong notes. From the first version, to this version: The piano part has changed to another synth and the echo that I was complaing about it gone. But I'm noticing now (and I wouldn't have thougha bout it earlier if not for hearing the changes) That piano really cut through where the new sound is much more subtle. I liked the piano's ability to cut through the sound, just the echo got in the way. I was thinking more along the lines that you could preserve the cutting through ability and and tone down just the echo. (faster decaying echo or w/e. I'm only so fluent in what can be done with the programs heh) Don't get me wrong, what you have sounds better IMO, I'm just pointing out the difference as I see it. ^.^; The chords have been shortened, which helps the flow methinks. I really like that new bell part at the end. Other then the above statement about the notes, I like the idea of having the different instruments coming together in the end. Now, I know you said it's not done, but have you given some thought to what kind of ending you want? (in general. Like the drums from the first version or this latest sort of abrupt spread and dispurse end) -hope this helps He Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Ha, it's a little on the conservative side (for you, Hoboka), which means the interpretation is probably just right Like I said before, though, it is a bit too static for me to wrap myself around right now. When I talk about texture, I'm speaking about how the instruments shape themselves arounds the notes... kind of hard to explain. If the choir is singing in block chords, then starts to arpeggiate the chords, then your changing the texture. I seriously recommend changing up the texture of this piece from time to time. The mix is muddy when all of the instruments are out. Seperate them using the powers of EQ or of panning. Right now, they sounds like one massive instrument. I actually like this one better than the original. Yay, keep up the good work. Sorry about the review that wasn't addressed to you earlier. He wouldn't have posted his stuff otherwise - Hope you all understand! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 Ha, it's a little on the conservative side (for you, Hoboka), which means the interpretation is probably just right Like I said before, though, it is a bit too static for me to wrap myself around right now. When I talk about texture, I'm speaking about how the instruments shape themselves arounds the notes... kind of hard to explain. If the choir is singing in block chords, then starts to arpeggiate the chords, then your changing the texture. I seriously recommend changing up the texture of this piece from time to time. The mix is muddy when all of the instruments are out. Seperate them using the powers of EQ or of panning. Right now, they sounds like one massive instrument. I actually like this one better than the original. Yay, keep up the good work. Sorry about the review that wasn't addressed to you earlier. He wouldn't have posted his stuff otherwise - Hope you all understand! Funilly enough, they are seperated using panning effects and EQ. I think that I just have too much middle going on...I'll see if I can fix that later. As for the texture, I can prob do something creative with that as well. More so, rather. And I'm glad you prefer this over the original ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7c3b598e29b531ea6e5be6ba49b5870170 update (though this was actually made before I read your guys' comments - I just addressed other issues that I already knew about, as well as added some more spice) correct me if I'm wrong though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Why do people not update their first post with the latest mix! We have to wade through the entire topic to try and find the latest non-broken download link. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 Why do people not update their first post with the latest mix! We have to wade through the entire topic to try and find the latest non-broken download link. Because then OTHER ppl complain about ppl doing THAT. Can't please everyone dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Mhokey, I've been putting off the review on this (nothing personal) for a few hours now. Time to get down to business. I have to say I like what you have right now, I'm trying to put into words what I want to say, bear with The last bit, person preference or whatnot, it seems to me like the trumpet synth could use a few sharp dynamic changes to really bring it out, while not making it so front and center ALL the time. I do think the sound of the thing is much improved over the last version, so kudos there. As far as Gario and texture: I don't really understand what he's saying about texture, and I half see what he means about the mids being one big instrument. It just seems to me like there are too many middle sounds, not that the EQ is off or anything. Maybe an instrument change or somefig? Though you said you had something in the works for that, so I'll wait and see. (again, the disclaimer that I'm not the best at this sort of thing, I'm getting there slowley ) As for the very end, I want something to go with that cymbol hit. I like triplets with descending dynamics >.> personal preference. (what you have works. Just a thought ^.^ The ending 'all instruments in' bit may be a bit long. I could see a break at 2:27 working well in there just for some breathing room. I don't know if you're going for more length or no. But it could be a 2 birds with one stone kinda thing. That's all I got for now. I look forward to the updates. -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dafydd Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Because then OTHER ppl complain about ppl doing THAT. Can't please everyone dude. You can always do both... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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