HoboKa Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7c3b598e29b531ea6e5be6ba49b5870170 It's far from done, only at about 1:20-ish in length, but the main idea is there, as well as my drum skeleton. The flesh will come later. Is this okay so insofar? Update 1 http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7c3b598e29b531ea6e5be6ba49b5870170 Update 2 http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7ce04e75f6e8ebb871 Update 3 http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7c3b598e29b531ea6e5be6ba49b5870170 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Would you please post the sources Hoboka! You make me sad I like what you have so far, it's early, so I'm not really going to go into stuff that I figure you'll catch and change anyways Something seems to be off at 0:35 with the bg synth, or maybe it's just me. Build up to 1:00 may be a bit on the loud side. Love the panning near the end. That bass 'funk' thing is great at the beginning. I wanna see it again much more prominent later in the piece (my selfish request here:-P) Not a huge fan of the synth 0:58. Just kinda boring to me, doesn't seem to fit in. I give this my seal of approval, look forward to more -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 Would you please post the sources Hoboka! You make me sad I like what you have so far, it's early, so I'm not really going to go into stuff that I figure you'll catch and change anyways Something seems to be off at 0:35 with the bg synth, or maybe it's just me. Build up to 1:00 may be a bit on the loud side. Love the panning near the end. That bass 'funk' thing is great at the beginning. I wanna see it again much more prominent later in the piece (my selfish request here:-P) Not a huge fan of the synth 0:58. Just kinda boring to me, doesn't seem to fit in. I give this my seal of approval, look forward to more -H ummm hewo, you posted the wrong source tune. Let me get it up... well this "source tune" is actually a cover, but it's pretty much accurate to the note. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=x_Ny2TkWJwY but why doesn't my synth at 0:58 fit in? I don't want a generic saw sound or something of the like so...what else could I use instead? NO THEREMIN either lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 1 Open forums 2 Open mouth 3 Insert foot Posted the wrong source, it sounded close at the time, sorry about that. Anyways, let me hit on my thoughts with that synth. The song as is has all these high string type noises and the fun ascending and decending patern. Then the synth that comes in just feels bland as is. Of course, everything's my opinion, and it may be wrong. (not really, I mean I'm alwalys right, right?) I'm not really sure how to describe it (but I'm doing a lot of typing anyway) other then to say to me it sounds out of place. To go along with the music, I guess I'm saying something here should have some decay to make the attack seem stronger, rather then sound like a sustained note. Though the creative panning is fun. As far as what else to use, here's where my lack of experiance comes in to bite me. Bear with this next bit: I wonder if you couldn't layer a sine type sound or something on top of it, give it a long decay, but short quieter attack so that it makes the note louder at the begenning and shorter in the end with some echo. I'm refering to layering as making another track with similar notes to play at the same time, since I'm only half sure how to change the sound you have now. My other thought (lets try to use my new remix vocabulary; see if this sounds right) A subtractive filter on it to give it that more gruff sort of sound. I have this 'picture' of what I'm trying to say in my head, but I'm not thinking it's nearly so easy to come across in words. I do most of my stuff by mistake, so I'd prolly spend forever and a day listening to different presets to find my fix for it. Sorry I can't be more 'on target' with what I'm trying to say. -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 Okay I listened to some of your advice there Hewo. Thanks for the comments btw - they do help. Got update. Dig it here or at the top of the thread. http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7c3b598e29b531ea6e5be6ba49b5870170 This going in the right direction?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Have I mentioned I love that bass? This to me seems like it's headed the right direction. I like the changes to the drums at the beginning. A few more things I'm seeing: 1) A lot of sounds in this version are trying to really stand out at the beginning. Fighting for space. Specifically the high voice that comes in at 0:24 with the high notes that are already there seem to stand out more then in the last version. I don't know if going an octive lower would help, changing the synth or what; but to me it seems like they're both in the same range as is. 2) New synth at 1 min, I like it, not nearly as simple sounding as the old one, I think because of that it doesn't need such drastic panning as the old one did. Two birds with one stone. 3) At 1:36, the nice slow chords for a bit are refreshing. I don't know how much you're doing after this bit, the source is pretty long. But something should prolly come after those so that they build into something. I personally like the second half of the source more than the first and would love to see it in there somewhere (killer guitar solo in the original8-O) As is, the chord section comes and goes for 12 bars, the song picks up into that mellow part for another 12, then just kinda ends. (this is about where said guitar solo happens) Because of the solo in the origional, it seems like it's building even though it's just the solo doing the work. In your without the solo, the song seems to be in decline. Hope this helps -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 .....................sighhhhh OKAY guess I got more work to do lol. I wish moar ppl would comment too T_T I shall look into the tips you've provided to me and see how I can improve this wip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 Update 2 is up!!! Grab it while it's still hawt. http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7ce04e75f6e8ebb871 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brainfog Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I'm going by the Whip that Head Boi mp3, assuming that's your latest version. I like what you're doing here. There are a few things I'd like to point out for you. Between 0:25 and 0:52 it sounds a bit cluttered. It's a bit hard to make out exactly what's going on there, and the bass line loses some of it's punch. I like your build up to the 1:00 mark and then going into the main part of the song. Eventually it slows down again and you go into the more quiet part. I love the silent part with the bass line taking the front again and then building up with the synths to the finale. The finale sounds good, but I'd have used that part to work in a version of that guitar solo that's in the original, make the finale really stand out. And use a few seconds more to let the sounds fade out at the end. That's my opinion anyway. I hope I'm helpful and not just a bother by telling you what I don't like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Mmhokay, class tomorrow (coming up stupid soon ), so this is my last bit for the night. As for commenting, I like to comment on one that people are activly working on instead of leaving a comment on lots of them (plus I lose my mind trying to keep track of more than 4 or 5 songs in progress at once. (I seem to remember... this very close to source, maybe J's won't like dis...) Lets see here. Okay, Ima listen to it a few times to nit pick. So that I can pick nits. (yeah, it looks like a lot, but it really isn't) 1) I've already mentioned that synth at 0:24. I'm hit or miss on this one, I've almost managed to talk myself into liking it:-P; but I still think it's in the same range as those high notes, which could end up in the way. 2) I hear more bass then before which is huge for me. Kudos there. 3) At 1:00 the lead synth comes in. One of the things I'm trying to figure out how to do is do like a gradual filter or effect with different intensity over several bars. (I've heard a few people do it, I hear it in techno type stuff a lot) I can picture something like that working well here; because it's the same thing 3 or 4 times there. Don't get me wrong, it's interesting and works well as it is now. I'm just thinking about what it would sound like with that effect. (and I'm trying to describe sounds in words again) 4) Build after the chords bit is great, after that the first idea comes back again. While it works well and sounds good, It's a 1 to 1 copy. You might consider a few very minor changes. Or that whole thing I talked about in 3. 5) The synth at 1:00 may actually be a touch too loud? 6) 2:28 I don't want those high notes back in right when that strong lead comes in. Ease up the volume over a note or 2 maybe. It's a bit too much all at once. *) It's getting to the point now to where I don't really have critisisims, more like 'oh oh oh! I wonder what this button does...' type suggestions Hope this helps -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 I'm going by the Whip that Head Boi mp3, assuming that's your latest version.I like what you're doing here. There are a few things I'd like to point out for you. Between 0:25 and 0:52 it sounds a bit cluttered. It's a bit hard to make out exactly what's going on there, and the bass line loses some of it's punch. I like your build up to the 1:00 mark and then going into the main part of the song. Eventually it slows down again and you go into the more quiet part. I love the silent part with the bass line taking the front again and then building up with the synths to the finale. The finale sounds good, but I'd have used that part to work in a version of that guitar solo that's in the original, make the finale really stand out. And use a few seconds more to let the sounds fade out at the end. That's my opinion anyway. I hope I'm helpful and not just a bother by telling you what I don't like. Thanks man. I'll adress those issues, minus the guitar part. I lack decent guitars and i don't feel like waiting on a collab member to make them for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 thx for your response to Hewo >_< keep on critiquing Some of your points are pretty useful this time too lol. Although I'm no expert at filter effects...such a pain oy. Thats why I love having VSTs do that stuff for me ANd here is ze UPDATE http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=3897495d660a541fd6baebe61b361f7c3b598e29b531ea6e5be6ba49b5870170 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Wait a sec, if I remember right, didn't EWJ have that attack where he'd pull out hit worm-head and beat people with it? I only ever played the one on game boy:puppyeyes: Ah right, the song. Wait, only SOME of my vast... resoviour of knowledge and... (mostly) opinion is useful? I'm crushed! lmao. Again, I'm down to the nitty gritty nitty picky. Right right right, song. I'm getting there. Quick recap of things that I've said that are the same (I assume you're not changing these, you need to say that in yooos post, so I stop telling yooos about them) 1) Voices at 0:24 2) Oh yeah, no killer guitar solo? Pweese? Nit picks on drums: 1) The Ruff grace notes should be quieter. 2) Stick across snare at the beginning could be brought up a bit. 3) Some velocity changes on the 16th triplets and 32nds on the toms would give you a more realistic feel for those fast notes. Other stuff 1) There's a bad note hold over right at 1:35-1:37 The echo hold over is messing with the first chord a bit. 2) Cakewalk has a 'transient shaper' that would help the main lead synth at 1:00 tone down that hissing sound some. It sounds intentional and to me sounds good, but don't know if you'll catch crap from the next guy. I don't know if FL has anything like that, but you might consider it. (it sounds good now too, again I'd have to play with it to be sure; or just to play with it) I keep getting the feeling comparing Sonar to FL is like comparing apples to a 1959 chevy. Not even in the same ballpark, but anyway. That's it for now. I'll listen to this a bit more later. -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 hmm the note doesn't seem off key to me. And no guitars, nor the solo part, because that's a very small portion of the admittably short song. Besides, I want room to add my own stuff, seeing as I'm not really reinterpreting the main melody much. I'll see what I can do with the :24 voices and the drums. Later though, because my ears need a break from this wip. Man...I'm still vexed that my Legend of Dragoon FLP got corrupted - because that might have been my ticket to OCR months ago. Oh well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 The note isn't off key, but the echo of it comes back onto the chord part that's right after it. The note holds over and cuts off, then comes back as an echo. And it ends up running a little bit to long. It's the last voice to decay. Very minor, but worth pointing out. Picking nits hoboka, picking nits. Sorry about your legend of dragoon mix, I have that game lovingly decorating my game shelf right now. EDIT: And where's my guitar solo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 The note isn't off key, but the echo of it comes back onto the chord part that's right after it. The note holds over and cuts off, then comes back as an echo. And it ends up running a little bit to long. It's the last voice to decay. Very minor, but worth pointing out. Picking nits hoboka, picking nits. Sorry about your legend of dragoon mix, I have that game lovingly decorating my game shelf right now.EDIT: And where's my guitar solo! Which part of I won't make the guitar solo part, can you not comprehend T_T I'm not gonna make iiiiit. Rawr. lol...if you want it so badly, then get the midi for this song and do your own version :D I'll see to that overly long note tho. And I guess that it's a good sign that its only nits and picks you've got, as opposed to major issues. (also if you'd like we can do a legend of dragoon collab sometime ;-D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I'd love to collab, but I'm using Sonar, and I'm not sure how to make a CWP file work in FL, or visa versa. If we can get something to work it sounds good though. As for that note: the note isn't overly long really, it's just the last voice to cut out. The usual last note is a high voice. (all your orchestra and band people do this) But in your rock type music, it's a grab bag for stuff like cut offs. So, very minor:tomatoface: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 I'd love to collab, but I'm using Sonar, and I'm not sure how to make a CWP file work in FL, or visa versa. If we can get something to work it sounds good though. uck...you should use FL studio or Pro Logic...*bracing for other remixers to come down on me like angry wasps* anyways, there's still an ez way to collab. Trade midi files of our work >...okay so it's not easy - but it works. & lol @ visa versa I thought that its vice versa...holy crap word check doesn't like that word...okay so we both can't spell >< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 No Buttville? No Guitar solo? NO GUITAR SOLO?!?!? WATZ THS SHAAAAAT~!!!! lol, jk. No source, but if I recall, the source was pretty simple to start with, so... yeah. The bass sample you use sounds very GM. I'd find something else for that. One of the snare samples sounds like the head of the instrument wasn't tightened properly... I notice you use that sample a lot in your mixes. Please stay away from it - it sounds like a sample of a high school snare drum. Ick. The tempo is laid back, but the mix you made calls for a faster pace. Experiment with the tempo and see if you agree. For me, the song didn't start until 1:36. Before that, it was a little boring... It could start there, and extend past the written ending and I don't know if the first 1:36 would be missed that much. After that point, though, it starts sounding pretty good. At 1:36 - 2:28, I mean it when I say the piece could start here. This would be an excellent introduction to it. Because of the, erm, shortness of the source, you'll need a lot of material like this to make this song an acceptable length for OC. It's a good section; make it your first When 2:28 comes rolling in, it gets a lot heavier (and cooler). I enjoy how thick the mix sounds here in contrast to the proceeding section. It sounds like it needs to be longer... I'd love to collab, but I'm using Sonar... uck...you should use FL studio or Pro Logic...*bracing for other remixers to come down on me like angry wasps*Eh, I use Reason; it seems to work for me. Use whatever is comfortable for you (trying to swat the angry wasps away...)BTW - I NEEDS MOAR GUITAR SOLO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 I'll agree with the production issues and the like, but I'm keeping the progression as it is. And the starting of 1:36 doesn't really sound like an intro, but more of a break down, I'd have to mess with the entire progression of that part to make it intro-ish...too much effort and stuff. You see FL Studio doesn't have the easy rearranging qualities as Reason does...probably it's biggest flaw there - so I'd spend like 10 hours fixing that shit, especially with all my tracks haha. Too much effort at this point, especially since I've burnt out the song, but thx for the comments Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Just so we're clear, my snare drum NEVER sounded like that when I was in high school:nicework: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 Just so we're clear, my snare drum NEVER sounded like that when I was in high school:nicework: I hate you guys, you know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I hate you guys, you know Speaking of which, where's my guitar solo HoboKa? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 Speaking of which, where's my guitar solo HoboKa? /commit suicide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Ok, Hoboka, you asked for a critique of one of your songs -I agree that the bass sample at the start is a bit weak. If you can find something more meaty to replace it with, that would help. I don't really think doubling it with that synth is doing the job either, though. -Wrong note? in bassline, the very last note in the phrase feels like it should be another half-step higher. -Kind've weird phrasing a bit in. At :26 you've got a fill, which leads into a new section. Now, you've only got 3 measures before your next fill - which makes it feel like you skipped a measure somewhere. Same thing at :33, you start a new section there, wait 3 measures, then do a key change. It doesn't really seem to make sense and feels jarring to this listenter. Try organizing things in 4 or 8 measure sections to give the listener some landmarks to get oriented. -I'm also not feeling the snare sound at the start. It seems to fit in better later, maybe because it's layered more? It's too exposed at the beginning, though. -Hmm, that airy lead thing isn't doing the trick here. It's too weak to use as a lead, just sounds like kind've a mess in the background, sorry . There's also a lot of brightness because you've also got a very bright pad in addition to this lead. Replace that lead and it should help. -1:02 brought a welcome change to the texture a bit. Changeups like this really help a mix out. I'd even go further and change up some pads, arps, and other stuff to make a greater contrast. -Breakdown at 1:36 is a good idea here, though transition is weak. The only thing that's hints at something new is drum break. Other instruments need to lead into it as well. -2:04 suddenly comes in (needs transition work here too), but now things are very low heavy. This whole section till 2:28 has a weird soundscape, it needs balancing IMO. The background arp is actually pretty cool and could work. -2:28 transition is a LITTLE better but still needs work. This section needs more contrast from earlier hashes. I hear you've layered the bass some more, but it needs to have more of a hook for the listener to make it worth continuing to listen to. You haven't really brought new writing to this section, just layered the instruments more. I'm not familiar with the original, so I can't really comment on OST arrangement. I think this mix suffers from some odd phrasing and some weak synths. It does have some good things going for it as well though, as mentioned above. Hope this helps. EDIT: You see FL Studio doesn't have the easy rearranging qualities as Reason does...probably it's biggest flaw there - so I'd spend like 10 hours fixing that shit, especially with all my tracks haha. Too much effort at this point, especially since I've burnt out the song, but thx for the comments Why would you think FL isn't suited for rearranging? It's probably more how you're using the playlist rather than program limitations. Are you writing everything into one pattern or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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