Final Sunset (progressive rock?)

[jabond23]

I wrote this track with just a couple riffs in mind and i'm really hoping you guys can give me feedback on it. Its got a sort of progressive rock sound to it. At least i think that's the genre this song would fall under. I wanna add some sort of lead, maybe a nice keyboard solo or something to the intro to help smooth it out a bit.

[Gario]

Meeeeetul. Always nice to hear from you (sorry I didn't see it before - original works forum isn't nearly as popular to surf ). I like the main riff ideas, and the texture is sweet. I'm going to say your methods of adding to them bug me (doubling at the fifth after the initial idea just seems a bit lazy and grating on my ears, for example - doubling at the sixth would improve the sound, trust me).

Somewhere in the middle of the song, your leads don't line up with the harmonies (can't say where - tindeck doesn't tell time )... Line em' up.

The solo towards the end sounds like what my older brother would call a 'SLAYER SOLO', meaning it really just hit random notes really fast. Try to keep the notes within your scale when soloing, and it'll make it fit in better.

Love the soundscape. Not much to say there.

Production has no issues - it's loud, grungy and heavy. The three basic food groups of Metul Mixing . Nothing really stood out as being clipped or anything, so you're fine there.

In progressive rock/metal, the ideas tend to evolve over time to different ideas, linking together as a story would. While this song makes one significant change, it's probably not enough to classify it as such. It's not really a problem with the song (it flows fine, and it isn't really too repetitive), it's just a clarification with the genre. My younger siblings hammer prog rock/metal into my head daily, so it's always going through my head, sadly.

It could use an ending that's significantly different from the idea that was playing there. Wrap the song up and let it out, I say. Keep it comin'!

[jabond23]

a 'SLAYER SOLO'

Lol, i know exactly what ya mean!

I uploaded the track to ocrwip so you can see the time now. If you could let me know where those issues you pointed out are at in the timeline i can absolutely go back and see what changes i can make. I understand, i think, what you mean by the parts where the double harmony is just a fifth note variation and nothing more. Also, i'll have the song just end instead of fading out like that. I'm usually not too good with endings, lol.

Thanks man.

[jabond23]

I made some changes, mostly to the harmonies and some general guitar stuff. It does sound better without just playing the 5th notes.

or

[Dj Mokram]

The intro is refreshing, and the harp that comes in from 0:07 makes it even better. Actually, that part reminds me a lot of Okami for some reason.

The guitar from 0:25 co-habit strangely with the piano. Instruments seems to be stepping on each onther toes here.

Can't pinpoint exactly if it comes from dissonant harmonies, chorus or dissident tone.

Nice variation at 2:00, short but eloquent. Like how it slowly comes back to the main melody afterward.

Part from 4:08 with the galloping percussions, I dig the progressive come back of the instruments and melodic material.

4:40 to the end is the high point of the song.

Galloping percus mixing with regular drums, meanwhile the full soundscape is growing and the song is really coming to life.

I'm gonna go and say that the galloping thing may be a reference to cowboys on their horses disappearing on the horizon with the sunset, thus Final Sunset?

My only real gripe here, is that while the song flows nicely, the transitions between parts are a bit rough somehow.

Imho, they would benefit from some reverse crash or subtle riff/mellow introduction.

Also, the song could use a real break, slower with a more subtle atmosphere comprised of fewer instruments and softer guitar riffs.

This one is quite different from some of your previous work. I enjoyed the calmness of the song, with its purely melodic parts, and its peaceful moments.

Overall clean production, and your performance, while having its regular fierceness toned down due to the genre/pace, was still sharp as usual.

A fitting piece to wrap up, say ...an album for exemple.

[jabond23]

The intro is refreshing, and the harp that comes in from 0:07 makes it even better. Actually, that part reminds me a lot of Okami for some reason.

The guitar from 0:25 co-habit strangely with the piano. Instruments seems to be stepping on each onther toes here.

Can't pinpoint exactly if it comes from dissonant harmonies, chorus or dissident tone.

I'm gonna go and say that the galloping thing may be a reference to cowboys on their horses disappearing on the horizon with the sunset, thus Final Sunset?

A fitting piece to wrap up, say ...an album for exemple.

Yeah, keeping in mind what you said about the intro and listening to it again i can hear waht your saying. I think i need a slower intro solo to keeps pace with the instruments. I also hear what your saying about the section change ups. I'm gonna add a cymbal roll or something of the sort to help bring it back in nicely. I've got the kick roll, but i don't think it stands out enough.

As for the name, i think your interpretation of it is pretty close. I always felt it had that kinda feel to it also. Almost like an ending credits theme.

ALSO, as for it being a perfect piece to wrap a album, i think you maybe right about that! This one won't be on that album though, probably the next one. I think its a great start to it though. Check your PM for the album info.

[jabond23]

Here's a quick update. I didn't change the intro solo, just brought its levels down so it blends better into the background. Everything else mentioned i touched up or fixed.

[Dj Mokram]

Since it's mostly a 'cosmetic' update, I'll focus on small subsiding problems.

Part from 0:25 = discreet guitars can give the illusion to blend in more effectively. But dissonance subsists in a few instances with some notes (0:33 0:35 0:37).

You have another small dissonance on one note at 2:32. Can be fixed quickly.

I'm unsure as if you've enhanced the drumroll at 3:03. May I suggest you make it start half a measure earlier, with two sparse kick-hits on the 3:02 mark?

Did you change something on the guitar part from 1:45? Somehow it sounds more pleasant to the ear now.

I'm still advocating the implementation of reverse cymbals to help transition from loud and full parts to more quiet moments, where the sounscape is thiner.

Namely on these marks: 1:59~2:00 - 2:47~2:48 - 4:07~4:08.

Other than that, sounds pretty great IMO. The song flows quite well as is, so forget my comment on adding another break.

A few minor tweaks here and there, and this one should be completed.

[jabond23]

Part from 0:25 = discreet guitars can give the illusion to blend in more effectively. But dissonance subsists in a few instances with some notes (0:33 0:35 0:37).

You have another small dissonance on one note at 2:32. Can be fixed quickly.

I'm unsure as if you've enhanced the drumroll at 3:03. May I suggest you make it start half a measure earlier, with two sparse kick-hits on the 3:02 mark?

Did you change something on the guitar part from 1:45? Somehow it sounds more pleasant to the ear now.

I'm still advocating the implementation of reverse cymbals to help transition from loud and full parts to more quiet moments, where the sounscape is thiner.

Namely on these marks: 1:59~2:00 - 2:47~2:48 - 4:07~4:08.

I took your advice and put some reverse cymbal samples at those time spots, fixed the note at 2:32, added the 2 kick hits at 3:02, AND changed the intro solo around to match the one later in the track. Whew, so that and the guitar part that harmonizes at 1:45 now plays 3rd notes instead of 5th notes. Gives it that more subtle feeling.

I agree that maybe now this one is done and i can work on another new after a few other things, lol.

[Dj Mokram]

Looks like I had missed this last update...

Well, sounds like you fixed pretty much everything that needed fixing.

Though for the intro solo, I think matching the later one maybe wasn't the best thing to do.

The previous solo was fitting the piece just fine really. It simply had some minor dissonance issues on some notes.

But you can indeed consider this piece finished, as I totally understand your will to move toward something else now.

I had this song in my head for a few days, and I guess it'll stay stuck here for a few more.