Liontamer Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 I have read all rules of the website and believe to the best of my personal knowledge that this submission is in compliance with governing rules and standards. In regards to the requested information from the website: ReMixer name: Pharaohmone Real Name: Steven Darling E-mail address: pharaoh@pharaohatem.com Website: pharaohatem.com OCremix.org "userid": 33717 Link to the submission in question: Submission Information Name of game(s) arranged: Final Fantasy XIII. Name of individual song(s) arranged: Serah's Theme (English Version) Link to the original soundtrack (if it is not one of the sound archives already available on the site): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDfqCNgeHTU&feature=player_embedded Your own comments about the mix, for example the inspiration behind it, how it was made, etc: I provided the vocals for this song myself. It ironically took thirteen takes, some of which are hilarious because I included personal notes on why how I just sang it was NOT how to do it. The post-processing of my voice was done to emulate the breathy style of the background vocals to a number of tracks from the Final Fantasy XIII soundtrack, which I fell in love with despite it being one of the few Non-Uematsu scores. I don't know how to classify the genre, does "listenable" count? My girlfriend has been encouraging me to do vocals for a while, and this track would not have happened without her support. Lyric information: Make my wish come true, let darkness fade to light Show me there's still hope, show me it's not over Battles we can win, our struggle lies within Will we live to greet the dawn? Love will not leave you, hate will not heal you Promise me one day that peace shall reign For all other information and inquiries, please reply to this posted e-mail address. Thank you for your consideration. Steven Darling "Pharaohmone" pharaoh@pharaohatem.com ---------------------------------------------------- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDfqCNgeHTU - "Serah's Theme" Would have liked to have heard more done with the stuttering synth writing at some point, but it was still a good additive element that combined well with the source melody, even if the timing was rigid. Really weird percussion stuff at :17 & 1:41 where the timing felt slightly awkward and the drums didn't gel with the other instrumentation. The vocal performance at :26 was pretty beginner-ish (effects aside), and the vocals were mixed poorly. The effects coupled with the mixing/balance made it too difficult to make out the lyrics. The arrangement also sputtered out at 2:33 with no real resolution, one of the few instances where I'd complain about a fadeout ending being a cop-out for a lack of ideas. You have some potential though, Steven, so don't be discouraged. Keep at it and you'll be making some more cohesive stuff. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 The speeding up of the source and the stuttering worked surprisingly with this theme. Right now the song feels a little too coverish due to the fact that it's following the vocal melody almost verbatim, and a lot of the piano elements remain the same. I'd love to hear you expand out on the source, maybe write an alternate second verse, or change the melody around a bit. Vocal arrangements can be finicky in that they either sound too much like a cover, or too far from the original, so it's a fine balance to keep certain elements the same and change other things. Don't be afraid to experiment. I'm a little put off by the use of the autotune. For the most part I like it as a stylistic choice, but the high notes are what I'm not really feeling. From what I can hear of the vocal performance itself, I would suggest working on supporting your sound a little more, which will help the projection a bit, and give you a fuller, cleaner sound. It also might help to use multiple recordings panned in the background to make the sound fuller. Larry is pretty much on with the mixing issues. It's a little under-balanced overall, making it hard to make out the words at times of the vocals. The bass drum feels like it's a little overpowering in a lot of sections (especially when the vocals first come in). Take a little bit of time to check that out and clean things up. I'd also like you to do a little humanization on the piano part to give it some life. I think you've got a good start here, and I'd encourage to re-take a look at this and fix it up! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 I do like the stuttered synths as well, and don't remember them in the numerous in-game remixes of this track. I thought the vocals were way too processed to be audible. I was hearing tons of effect, but not much actual vocals. I am somewhat of a vocal nublet, so I can't offer detailed crits, but definitely work on breath support and projecting your voice more. The arrangement was pretty close to the original, and could use a little more personalization. You started out pretty good, with some unique touches, but once that was set, it got somewhat automated, and it skated along. It's a little difficult because this specific song was all over the game in different variations, so add some more! As for production, it seemed like there were some mixing issues with balance, and also, the piano was way mechanical. Keep at it, as you have a good start, and listen to your girlfriend and keep singing! No, please resubmit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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