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FF8~Raine's Memorial~Eyes On Me

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I think first off you need to say more in your post than just a link to your remix, yes the source track would be nice for those that don't know it, but more importantly it would be nice to hear your thoughts on this, for instance; what do you think you've done well on? where do you think you need help? are you planning on improving this enough to be submittable? Do you even want people to critique this, or are you just posting it here to show people? I'm guessing since you've posted it under 'work in progress' you do want some critiques and advice, but still, some words from you would definitely encourage more people to give you help and advice if they know where you're coming from.

Anyway! First thing i want to say is you're definitely improving in terms or rhythm and timing from what i remember of your other tracks you've posted on here, there are a few awkward moments when it seems notes should be held longer, or there should be longer rests, but overall it's a lot more steady than other tracks of yours I've heard.

The main problem here is that the whole track is just the melody, and given that only one instrument plays at any given time the track very quickly gets predictable and thin. First thing you'll have to do to improve this is add a bass line and some chords, it doesn't matter what's playing those parts or how they're being played, just get them in! It will immediately improve the track just by making things more interesting (how many complete tracks do you really hear that are played just one instrument at a time which isn't a solo performance?). Maybe you could keep the piano ostinato at the start playing throughout the verse at least and have it change with the chord sequence?

When you've added some other parts I would suggest getting rid or the rain sounds, it just seems out of context (unless you were thinking rain, Raine...?) and unnecessary, if you're worried about the track sounding completely empty without it then don't worry, because the other parts I've suggested you add will make the rain redundant.

Sorry if this all seems a bit negative... I'd suggest you listen to these two arrangements of the same source, and pay attention to what the other instruments besides the ones playing the melody are doing


I'm not saying copy them, just listen to the other parts and get some ideas of how to build up a backing section.

Hope this helps, and stick with it!

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I have to agree with anti-syne in every way. You need to post more about your track and leave a source as well. I must also say that you should really consider using arrangement rather than playing in general. I don't think you quite have the skills to perform what you are doing. I'm hearing to many wild velocity changes and timing issues. You have indeed gotten better however, so that's something to consider as well. The lack of percussion is very detrimental to this track, as it becomes very bland to ears very quickly. I also noticed that there are no chords in the entire song. Not even a 2 note chord. I refuse to believe you have a monophonic keyboard, so I will say that you should add some chord work. You also need to add simply more tracks to this. You have that incessant rain going throughout the track, so it can't be that you lack the resources to add more tracks....so add more. You should have a bassline of some sort and perhaps some counter melodies as well. You also need some use of effects on your tracks such as reverb and delay. I could go on, but this is probably enough to consider for the time being. Good luck.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can tell you this, it will not make it through judges panel. Here are the reasons:

1. Very midi'sh sounding. If you want to use instruments like piano, violin, sax in your mix, you either find some incredibly good samples and then apply enough articulation to make them sound human OR ask someone to play the real thing for you. There are tons of people around here who can do that for you.

2. Only one instrument plays at a time will not make your track sound very interesting. So when you play the violin or sax as lead, make sure you have some instruments playing in the background to support the lead. Just the simple piano won't cut it.

No intention to upset you but this require a lot of work before you can hand it over to judges. Keep working at it, add at least some string chords, percussion or any kind of layer in the background, maybe some harp arpeggios can make it sound better. Also, rain effect can take a back seat when leads are playing.

Keep at it and best of luck! :)

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Yeah, sorry but this is a long way from being submittable at the moment.

It certainly sounds better than your first wip, but there's still a long way to go for this to pass initial judgement, let alone the judges panel.

There's still the same fundamental timing errors throughout this piece, making it all sound very disjointed, yes there are now more than one instrument playing at a time, but they all seem completely independant of each other. The chords for your backing (piano arpeggios) really need to be changing, not just playing the same ostinato constantly, this is one of the main things causing that feel of each instrument just playing it's own thing irrespective of what other parts are doing.

Secondly this is much more of a cover than rearrangement of the original, playing the same structure, and pretty much same notes and rhythm as the original from start to end. You'll have to make this your own in terms of arrangement, something to make it stand out.

DjMystix already mentioned the low quality of the sounds so i won't go over that again.

Sorry again that this is really negative. I really think the first thing you need to do is work out the chord sequence you're going to use with the melody then re-record it all, really sticking to the click track/metronome so that all the parts realy mesh together.

Please feel free to ask any questions if i haven't explained this well, I will (as i'm sure will many others) be more than happy to give you any advice so you can really improve this, so please ask away if you're unclear about anything anyone is saying here!

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