OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

[Polo]

I tried hard to get those details right, what were they exactly?

Specifically, they were shortening Squaresoft to Square in Yuna, Fei, and Terra's bios, adding the abbreviation mark in Super Smash Bros. Melee in Ganondorf's, writing out "Doctor" for Robotnik's Wiki link, anchoring Terra's Wiki link (and matching the label with it), writing out PlayStation Portable instead of PSP in The Prince's appearance list, replacing "and" with "&" in Me & My Katamari, removing his quote, changing the third reference link to Katamari's official site, and adjusting the GameFAQs labels for The Prince, Terra, and Bonus kun.

Two other adjustments I felt were needed (but weren't in any text files) were changing the word "story" to "start" in Yuna's bio ("Ten years prior to the start of the game...") and adding the word "with" in Bonus kun's bio: "...leaving him with little more than..."

You mean 028, right? I disagree though. Picture 028 is the WW version, while 094 is more like what most people's image of Zelda is. So I think that one should be it.

Yeah, 028. Forgot to double-check the number, heh. And 094 does feel like a better choice, so linking to that is fine.

For both the DarkStalkers and Mascots categories, we should be able to add text to the Category pages like any other entry, so we'd use those to house that stuff.

Ok, but what about the general info blurb about the darkstalkers then?

I think he means it'll be on the category page called Darkstalkers much like the word of thanks is / will be on the Mascots category page. Kinda like this:

Category:Darkstalkers
home / about / mixing / store
What is Darkstalkers?

To put it simply, it's blah blah blah tl;dr.

-- The Coop

Articles in category "Darkstalkers"
----------
There are 7 articles in this category.

(list)

[Dafydd]

Specifically, they were shortening Squaresoft to Square in Yuna, Fei, and Terra's bios, adding the abbreviation mark in Super Smash Bros. Melee in Ganondorf's, writing out "Doctor" for Robotnik's Wiki link, anchoring Terra's Wiki link (and matching the label with it), writing out PlayStation Portable instead of PSP in The Prince's appearance list, replacing "and" with "&" in Me & My Katamari, removing his quote, changing the third reference link to Katamari's official site, and adjusting the GameFAQs labels for The Prince, Terra, and Bonus kun.

Oh no. I must have uploaded old, unrevised bios by mistake or something. Sorry about that, man. Thanks for fixing all that stuff!

I think he means it'll be on the category page called Darkstalkers much like the word of thanks is / will be on the Mascots category page. Kinda like this:

Yeah, I realized this and wrote about it in my previous post.

[Linearity]

Progress report.

I'm halfway done uploading my bios. Everything looks fine so far.

I added "Jon Talbain" and "Jon Talbain (extended)" to a special Darkstalkers category, and I added The Coop's "Darkstalkers" piece to that category page. I then, just for experiment, marked that page as being in the Mascots category, which made the Mascots category page show a link to the Darkstalkers category page, calling it a "subcategory." We don't have to keep that there: it looks kind of ugly and is not very useful. At any rate, the "Darkstalkers" piece is still on the wiki as a bio, and it is also there as category page text.

I clarified the "Pictured from:" fields in both the Zelda and Solid Snake bios--as each of these bios is associated with two pictures apiece--saying "Game Title (as mascot #000)" instead of just "Game Title(#000)." The redirect notification makes these notes clear to anyone coming to the bio through the mascot image: "Redirected from OCR_Mascot_000."

I changed the Mario and the Mario (kart) bios a little; I integrated the links between them into the text of the bios. So whereas "Mario" had no link to "Mario (kart)", I made such a link out of the word "racing" in the Mario text. And whereas "Mario (kart)" had a very explicit link to "Mario" before the text of the bio, I removed that and linked to the Mario bio through the first mention of the word "Mario." Take a look, tell me if it looks like it won't work.

Still standing by on what to do about redirect pages for the Darkstalkers bios. As I think of it, I wonder if we really need redirect pages for the extended bios. I assume that we only need a redirect page when a user clicks on the mascot picture, so as to use the mascot name to direct her browser to the correct bio. But we don't want anyone to go straight from a mascot picture to an extended bio, so perhaps there's no need for a redirect page for those, and therefore no problem to resolve.

[Polo]

About the Darkstalkers category... I think removing the text "There is one subcategory to this category" would better tighten the appearance of the "Subcategories" chunk, but I'm not sure how to do that because clicking Edit only shows Dafydd's blurb in progress. But I did add "— The Coop" at the end of the overview (in the subcategory) for crediting purposes.

And remember, the short DS bios need their redirect pages, so be sure to create "OCR Mascot 103" for Jon Talbain. Hopefully LT will show us how to make collapsible sections for putting the extended bios on the same page as the short ones.

I changed the Mario and the Mario (kart) bios a little; I integrated the links between them into the text of the bios. So whereas "Mario" had no link to "Mario (kart)", I made such a link out of the word "racing" in the Mario text. And whereas "Mario (kart)" had a very explicit link to "Mario" before the text of the bio, I removed that and linked to the Mario bio through the first mention of the word "Mario." Take a look, tell me if it looks like it won't work.

Works fine, imo. Clever way to link to the (kart) bio; it's like how X links to his "full armor" bio using said words instead of a name.

I noticed the other day that Galbadia Hotel is down, and so is the Final Fantasy Shrine link in the bios of Barret and the Turks (since GH and FFS both have ffshrine.org in the url), so I removed them for now. Similarly, the Rival Schools Network link for the RS mascots is still DOA, hence the change to Justice Network. Don't worry though, I'm keeping a record of all broken reference links since we've started Wiki'ing these bios, and if any old links come back, I'll reinstate them.

[Dafydd]

Somehow I doubt GH would stay down for long. It's back up as of present.

Naturally, the extended bios for the Darkstalkers don't need redirection pages, while the short ones do. As far as I know, we still haven't decided on how to incorporate the extended versions. I think the info page doesn't need to be a subcategory. Whoever is interested in reading up on the darkstalkers will click the "category: darkstalkers" at the bottom of the bios. The info page doesn't need to be accessible from the "mascot" category.

Also, I've recieved a PM from a Darklink42 (I think) who had looked at the wiki, which, in case you didn't know, is open to the public through the links we've made in this thread, and found spelling errors and sentences that he didn't think read very well. He expressed concern that I might not appreciate him telling me about our mistakes, but I told him to post his suggestions here, so hopefully we'll be seeing him soon. I can hardly believe Polo could have missed something like spelling errors, hehe, though I'm sure there are plenty of sentences that could be rewritten to read better (even I find those sometimes).

[Darklink42]

Hi guys, I've been following this project for a while, and while cruising through what you have up so far I found some technical errors and awkward sentences that i thought you might like to know about and correct. They're just suggestions though, and I understand if you decide not to use them. So far I've only gotten up to 035 (Sephiroth) and I've tried to avoid the really nitpicky stuff (Other than some missing commas). Hope I can be of some help.

Here's what I have so far:

004Aeris- "But she's happier for his health and durability than her garden's. Aware that the Turks, scouts of the Shinra megacorporation, are seeking her out again, the girl enlists Cloud as her bodyguard in exchange for a date. And so Aeris Gainsborough joins the story of Final Fantasy VII." (<is a re-worded version of the 4th and 5th sentences of the first paragraph.)

-"Low-on Health limit breaks"- This implies that she only uses them only when she is low on health. It should say something more to the effect of "Curative" or "restorative"

-"Blessed from the ground up. This is also why Aeris is constantly pursued." More explanation without revealing plot details should be added. I'd recommend something like "Aeris is obviously more than she appears, and whatever secret she carries appears to be very valuable to Shinra, her constant pursuers.

007Leon Belmont: "That the other Belmonts use." - ["That future Belmonts would continue to use in their battles (with other vampires?)]

008Sonic: "After the end of Sega's hardware business" - ("After Sega's departure from making new consoles")

011Ukyo Tachibana-" As much of a heartthrob he is with the ladies" ("As much of a heartthrob as he is to the ladies")

-"...blindness of the Japanese film character Zatoichi" Should it be mentioned what film this character is in?

012Terry Bogard- fighting techniques, streetwise attitude(,) and otherwise laid-back personality.

-"a master of a brawling martial arts (style)" and really I'd almost want to rewrite that, something like "master of a style of Martial Arts incorporating brawling techniques" (<still ugly though)

014Ness- "although he has an affinity for psychic powers." affinity sounds like he enjoys them as a snack or a pet. More appropriate would be something like "although he has the innate ability to harness psychic powers"

016Chun-Li- I feel like the opening sentence should better explain who it is referring to. The second sentence should be the clarifying statement for the first one. I have no suggestions at the current moment, without re-writing the whole first three sentences.

017Cammy White- "Cammy first appeared in the 1993 game Super Street Fighter II" Is this accurate, or should it be listed by it's full title as stated below in appearances?

021Barrett Wallace- "this later led to a conflict between Barret and Shinra's troops in which Barret lost both his wife and his right arm." It is actually a conflict between Shinra and Avalanche (prior to Barrett) that causes the loss of Barrett's wife. This should be reflected, as I believe that it's the spillover of that fight which causes him to also lose his arm.

023Ulala- I'm not familiar with the game, but would it spoil the plot to say why she must imitate the Morolians? I ask because it feels like that's an important element of the character's story.

024Moogle- "And so Moogles continue to pop up." I like the sentence, but perhaps it shouldn't be on it's own line, otherwise it feels like it's tacked on.

025Bowser- "Bowser has appeared in many other games, most of them spin-offs of the Mario series such as Super Mario Kart, Mario Party(,) and Super Smash Bros., either as a playable character or as an antagonist. As a playable character his largeness and heaviness influence the strategy most beneficial(<feels really awkward there) to players that control him." perhaps "His largness and heaviness influence the strategy players use when controlling him"?

026Vivi-"As a younger main character of Final Fantasy IX, Vivi is perhaps the most appreciated" (Underappreciated?).

-Should his appearance in KH2 be mentioned?

027HUnewearl- The first paragraph should be re-arranged so that the story descriptor is at the beginning. Something like this: "An explosion on the planet Ragol cuts off communication links between its colony and the landing starship, Pioneer 2. The Hunters onboard are the first group dispatched to investigate matters. This is the story in Phantasy Star Online, the first RPG...etc."

028Zelda- "An oft-made mistake made by newcomers to the Zelda series is (that) they figure..."

-"the series is in fact named after the damsel in distress present (<cut the present out)"

029Nall- "for its high price, until U.S. publisher Working Designs spun its reputation around with the release of Lunar: The Silver Star." ("...for its high price. That is, until U.S. publisher...")

030X(full armor)- "enormously powerful and purple wall of plasma" (the "and" there is not necessary, and could be replaced by a comma)

-"new abilities to (<"that" instead of "to") come with the upgrades "

032Fei Fong Wong- "Weltall time and again is almost a part of Fei in how extensively it is tied to and influences his fate." ("Weltall, time and again, is proven to be almost a part of Fei, given how extensively it is tied to, and influences, his fate.")

[Dafydd]

Thank you. I'll look this through when I have time. What say the rest of you? I've always been told that, when listing things, you separate them by comma, but the last one connects to the second last one with the word "and" and without a comma. Some of the commas you've added go against this "rule" by immediately preceding that "and", and my personal opinion is that those hinder reading more than they help. Naturally, commas may precede the word "and" at times, such as in the previous sentence, but that's because you're separating clauses rather than things that you're listing. I don't know what the rule is in English, however.

Example:

"I'm going to the store, dad's working, and last night my cat was run over by a bus." Weird sentence, but you get the idea. So, "and" preceded by a comma.

"This box contains apples, pears, pineapples, bananas and oranges". No comma. Again, this is just how I do it and I don't know whether this is correct or not. In spoken English, it's very common to make a pretty long pause between the second last and last items when reading a list like that, which would suggest a comma is in order. I realize this is incredibly nitpicky, and I might even be wrong, like I said, but so is bringing the issue up, so...

[Linearity]

You can always make a piece of writing better through further revision. Right now, I think our priority should be to publish what is already very good work. If we want, we can go and edit more after we're done, but delaying for perfection is folly at this point.

[Dafydd]

Yeah, true. But having the suggestions posted here in the thread is a good thing too. Also, there isn't that much we can do in order to get this published now - it's up to DJP and Liontamer. We're done uploading the bios, aren't we? All I still have to do, and can do before Larry gives us a final solution to the darkstalkers "problem" is to write that epilogue I mentioned. What then, other than ironing out the wrinkles, is still left to do?

EDIT: Ok, so we're not done uploading them. But almost! Again, if it ain't done by this weekend, I'd happily help out uploading the last few of them. Only 20 or so to go now.

[Polo]

a comprehensive post

You, sir, are the linguistics challenge I never had. Pleasure to indulge in discussion / debate / mud wrestling over English idioms and structures and all that.

004Aeris- "But she's happier for his health and durability than her garden's. Aware that the Turks, scouts of the Shinra megacorporation, are seeking her out again, the girl enlists Cloud as her bodyguard in exchange for a date. And so Aeris Gainsborough joins the story of Final Fantasy VII." (<is a re-worded version of the 4th and 5th sentences of the first paragraph.)

I like the way you paired the clauses to make the sentences feel more cohesive. Oddly though, starting a sentence with the word "aware" didn't jive with me, so I tweaked that sentence to get this: "But she's happier for his health and durability than her garden's. She's aware that the Turks, scouts of the Shinra megacorporation, are seeking her out again, and to escape their clutches, she enlists Cloud as her bodyguard in exchange for a date."

-"Low-on Health limit breaks"- This implies that she only uses them only when she is low on health. It should say something more to the effect of "Curative" or "restorative"

Good catch. I adjusted that sentence to note when and how her "spirituality" shows: "This sensitive spirituality is shown primarily through Aeris's battle defenses, which include healing, status-cleansing, and even shielding Cloud's party from onslaughts, blessed from the ground up."

-"Blessed from the ground up. This is also why Aeris is constantly pursued." More explanation without revealing plot details should be added. I'd recommend something like "Aeris is obviously more than she appears, and whatever secret she carries appears to be very valuable to Shinra, her constant pursuers.

What you're suggesting is a reiteration of what I say in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs, but in an ambiguous tone. "Blessed from the ground up" is a playful quip I injected to spruce up the bio when I first wrote it.

I don't see how it's too much to say that Shinra want her to show them where the Promised Land is if beforehand I'm detailing her innate abilities which, logically, would give reason to the corporation tailing her in the first place. Even if I left out what Shinra's doing (hurting the planet by sapping it of Mako Energy), casual readers could still make the leap themselves: "Aeris is being chased because of her powers..."

I did, however, alter the last sentence of paragraph 2 so it doesn't suggest her battle powers are the reason she's followed: "But Aeris is pursued for another reason altogether."

007Leon Belmont: "That the other Belmonts use." - ["That future Belmonts would continue to use in their battles (with other vampires?)]

The first sentence reads: "...the youngest known Belmont in any Castlevania game to date," which implies that there are other Belmonts in other CV games. I think just adding "would" and subtracting "the" would be enough: "...that other Belmonts would use."

008Sonic: "After the end of Sega's hardware business" - ("After Sega's departure from making new consoles")

Reread the previous sentence; your wording was already covered. Plus, Wikipedia says Sega "left the consumer console business and began concentrating on software development..." so the present wording isn't really a stretch.

011Ukyo Tachibana-" As much of a heartthrob he is with the ladies" ("As much of a heartthrob as he is to the ladies")

Better, thanks!

-"...blindness of the Japanese film character Zatoichi" Should it be mentioned what film this character is in?

He's in lots. Just mentioning the character should be enough for anyone curious about this other guy's movies.

012Terry Bogard- fighting techniques, streetwise attitude(,) and otherwise laid-back personality.

Tempting, but not necessary. See my note on commas below.

-"a master of a brawling martial arts (style)" and really I'd almost want to rewrite that, something like "master of a style of Martial Arts incorporating brawling techniques" (<still ugly though)

Just cut that second "a" and you're set: "a master of brawling martial arts."

014Ness- "although he has an affinity for psychic powers." affinity sounds like he enjoys them as a snack or a pet. More appropriate would be something like "although he has the innate ability to harness psychic powers"

Huh. I forgot that affinity means "natural liking" (sure, all kids have a "natural liking" for psychic powers, but how many are born with them?). I'll go with "although he has the innate ability to use psychic powers" because "harness" sounds like he keeps them inside himself, withheld from display (yeah, I know it can also mean to control or channel, but just to be safe).

016Chun-Li- I feel like the opening sentence should better explain who it is referring to. The second sentence should be the clarifying statement for the first one. I have no suggestions at the current moment, without re-writing the whole first three sentences.

watkinzez has an affinity for writing the first sentence as if it has nothing to do with the character, but it's really a lead-in to the mood or general idea behind the mascot he's writing about. But you're right about the second sentence not linking well with the first. I figure it can start this way: "Such is the strategy of Chun-Li, the only female character in Street Fighter II, who broke ground..."

017Cammy White- "Cammy first appeared in the 1993 game Super Street Fighter II" Is this accurate, or should it be listed by it's full title as stated below in appearances?

It's not a requirement to write out full titles in the body of a bio, but it is necessary for the Pictured from line and Selected game appearances list.

021Barrett Wallace- "this later led to a conflict between Barret and Shinra's troops in which Barret lost both his wife and his right arm." It is actually a conflict between Shinra and Avalanche (prior to Barrett) that causes the loss of Barrett's wife. This should be reflected, as I believe that it's the spillover of that fight which causes him to also lose his arm.

So "between Barret and Shinra's troops" is the clincher, is it? No problem, the conflict can instead be noted as "in the town". Simple, direct, spoiler-free, and keeps the first mention of AVALANCHE in the 3rd paragraph where it matters.

023Ulala- I'm not familiar with the game, but would it spoil the plot to say why she must imitate the Morolians? I ask because it feels like that's an important element of the character's story.

It's pretty intuitive if you ask yourself these questions: What's the problem of the story? What's Ulala's job? Does it feel like she's the main character? You may come to the conclusion that in order to get the scoop on the Morolian invasion and the uncontrollable dancing epidemic, Ulala must avoid the fate of everybody else by imitating the Morolians' dance moves, thus tricking them into thinking she's affected, while consciously finding a way to stop the aliens and save the people from their dilemma. Or something like that. Just fit the pieces together.

024Moogle- "And so Moogles continue to pop up." I like the sentence, but perhaps it shouldn't be on it's own line, otherwise it feels like it's tacked on.

I actually thought that once. To each his own, I guess.

025Bowser- "Bowser has appeared in many other games, most of them spin-offs of the Mario series such as Super Mario Kart, Mario Party(,) and Super Smash Bros., either as a playable character or as an antagonist. As a playable character his largeness and heaviness influence the strategy most beneficial(<feels really awkward there) to players that control him." perhaps "His largness and heaviness influence the strategy players use when controlling him"?

The original wording isn't confusing if read carefully, but your suggestion feels better when read at a casual pace, so we'll go with that. (And again, see below for the bit about commas.)

026Vivi-"As a younger main character of Final Fantasy IX, Vivi is perhaps the most appreciated" (Underappreciated?).

I don't understand. Elaborate?

-Should his appearance in KH2 be mentioned?

It could be, but it's not mandatory to list every single game a character has appeared in if the original bio writer doesn't feel like it. If Kingdom Hearts 2 is ever ReMixed on OCR, though, it would be added.

027HUnewearl- The first paragraph should be re-arranged so that the story descriptor is at the beginning. Something like this: "An explosion on the planet Ragol cuts off communication links between its colony and the landing starship, Pioneer 2. The Hunters onboard are the first group dispatched to investigate matters. This is the story in Phantasy Star Online, the first RPG...etc."

Sorry dude, gotta disagree with you. It's fine as-is because the 1st mention of the Hunters is the link to the 2nd paragraph and the character. The overview to the game / series highlights its features, the most in-depth being the storyline, which introduces the HUnewearl thus.

028Zelda- "An oft-made mistake made by newcomers to the Zelda series is (that) they figure..."

Nah, it works fine without the word "that."

-"the series is in fact named after the damsel in distress present (<cut the present out)"

"Present" meaning the damsel presented in the games. But since you got confused, I went ahead and fleshed it out ("presented throughout").

029Nall- "for its high price, until U.S. publisher Working Designs spun its reputation around with the release of Lunar: The Silver Star." ("...for its high price. That is, until U.S. publisher...")

I'm cool with that, sure. As-is, it's kind of a run-on sentence with conflicting dilemmas. Separately, however, they create a stronger springboard into the foray that is Lunar.

030X(full armor)- "enormously powerful and purple wall of plasma" (the "and" there is not necessary, and could be replaced by a comma)

The comma doesn't feel like a smoother choice, imo. I tried instead "...into a powerful purple wall of plasma." Unless Dafydd objects, the word "enormously" can be safely cut because the word "wall" is evidence enough of the shot's power.

-"new abilities to (<"that" instead of "to") come with the upgrades "

The word "to" doesn't feel like too bad a choice at first read, but "that" fits better, so gracias.

032Fei Fong Wong- "Weltall time and again is almost a part of Fei in how extensively it is tied to and influences his fate." ("Weltall, time and again, is proven to be almost a part of Fei, given how extensively it is tied to, and influences, his fate.")

PROVEN to be. Nice. Except for rearranging the first four words, I think the sentence now works fine this way: "Time and again, Weltall is proven to be almost a part of Fei in how extensively it is tied to and influences his fate."

I spent all night crafting my response, but still, thanks for such a comprehensive post. Nitpicks are what we're all about.

comma rules

"One, two, and three items."

"One, two and three items."

Both are acceptable forms when written. Whichever you choose, just stay consistent. I use the former structure.

You can always make a piece of writing better through further revision. Right now, I think our priority should be to publish what is already very good work. If we want, we can go and edit more after we're done, but delaying for perfection is folly at this point.

That's the nature of the beast. Deal with it.

What then, other than ironing out the wrinkles, is still left to do?

1) Uploading the last bios

2) Linking to other mascots (in the bios Dafydd uploaded; some of them are just bold text, last I checked)

3) Properly displaying the extended Darkstalkers bios and the overview, preferably on the same pages as the short bios

4) Writing and finalizing the project epilogue / preamble

5) Making sure the mascot images appear in their respective bios (djp / LT's job)

6) Site coding to make the mascots clickable and redirect to their bios (again, for the higher-ups)

I'm also waiting for any other real name-less writers to answer my PM, which seems less likely with each passing day.

Oh, and since Galbadia Hotel's back up, so is the link to the FF7 Shrine, which I put back up for Barret and the Turks.

[Darklink42]

Glad I could be of some service then. On the Vivi bio, I think I was just thrown off because I'm so used to reading sentences that call a character "the most underappreciated". I re-read it, it seems fine to me now that I think about it a little more. I'll have some more for you guys later, once I have time to read a few more, but I have to say that you're doing a great job so far.

[Dafydd]

1) Uploading the last bios

2) Linking to other mascots (in the bios Dafydd uploaded; some of them are just bold text, last I checked)

3) Properly displaying the extended Darkstalkers bios and the overview, preferably on the same pages as the short bios

4) Writing and finalizing the project epilogue / preamble

5) Making sure the mascot images appear in their respective bios (djp / LT's job)

6) Site coding to make the mascots clickable and redirect to their bios (again, for the higher-ups)

1) Like I said, I'll help... I also thought Lin was done when I wrote that. Hence the edit.

2) Man, what did I miss now? I'll go through them again and try to hunt those ones down. If you're right, then those are wrinkles a few sizes up from what I meant.

3) We'll need LT for that.

4) Yeah, that needs doing.

5) Yeah, not our job, and it's going to take a long time, too, I'm sure.

6) Same there. By the time they're done doing that we will have had the time to iron a lot of wrinkles out.

[Linearity]

That's the nature of the beast. Deal with it.

Nitpicks are what we're all about.

All right.

"But she's happier for his health and durability than her garden's. She's aware that the Turks, scouts of the Shinra megacorporation, are seeking her out again, and to escape their clutches, she enlists Cloud as her bodyguard in exchange for a date."

The first sentence misuses the word "but" because there isn't a clear contrary statement preceding it. The possesive at the end of this sentence is awkward. The last comma of the second sentence should be omitted.

"This sensitive spirituality is shown primarily through Aeris's battle defenses, which include healing, status-cleansing, and even shielding Cloud's party from onslaughts, blessed from the ground up."

The last phrase doesn't make grammatical sense. It isn't clear what is blessed.

Time and again, Weltall is proven to be almost a part of Fei in how extensively it is tied to and influences his fate.

Why use the passive voice when it's unnecessary? It should be "Weltall is almost a part..."

I agree with you, Polo, on all of your other responses.

[Linearity]

Are we really publishing this part of the Dan Hibiki bio? It's misogynist. I know it wasn't meant that way, but it shouldn't be part of official writing.

Two bitch-slaps in one heralds Dan's first appearance, his status as both a parody and a weak character exploited in later games.

I replaced "two bitch-slaps in one" with "two of Capcom's taunts in one". We could do "two middle fingers in one" if you like, or something else.

EDIT: I finished my uploading. All of the bios are now on the site (yippEE!). I gave each short Darkstalker bio a redirect page with its mascot number. The extended Darkstalkers bios have no redirect page. All of the links made from the word "Darkstalkers" now link to the Darkstalkers category page instead of the Darkstalkers article, which is still present in the bios list. I removed the "[[Category:Mascots]]" tag from the Darkstalkers category page, so the link to it no longer appears in the Mascots category page.

[Polo]

For Aeris, I decided to cut the first sentence starting with "But..." and wrote the start of the next one this way: "She soon becomes aware that the Turks..." Tell me if there's a chance of misreading or leaving an unanswered question - or if that sentence feels too long. Also, last comma cut = smoother finish, thanks.

Since "blessed from the ground up" is misleading when casually read, I went and axed it. No big loss.

I had to double-check examples of the passive voice to understand why the former wording was preferred ("Weltall is almost a part..."), and I see now why it makes sense. Excellent cross-checking catch.

For Dan Hibiki, I don't mind the change from "two bitch-slaps in one"; if people are going to flame us for our work, it should be fact-based clarity, not in response to subjective slang. "Two of Capcom's taunts in one" works fine.

TRIVIA: Our articles take up more than 3/4 of OCR's Wiki. All we need is a mascot whose name starts with "Q" and our list will span the whole alphabet.

[The Coop]

Quistis of FFVIII anyone?

[Polo]

Even better:

I can picture his quote now...

Quote: "@!#?@!"

[Dafydd]

Lol, I thought that was an actual mascot. Hahah! Anyway, I'm now free to upload mascots and other stuff. I'll look through my bios and see if Polo was right about me missing out on some character links, then help out if anyone else needs any.

[Darklink42]

Here's my next batch of suggestions and such:

031Lara Croft- "and the many modes of transportation including jeep, motorbike, and kayak." ("and varied modes of transportation including jeeps, motorbikes, and kayaking")

038Azel- "For her many complexities, her inner conflicts, and her personality that is unique for a female RPG character, Azel remains to this day a much-loved fan favourite." (...and a personality unique to female RPG characters) ("favorite" is also spelled wrong)

039Toad-"His soft, goofy appearance and delightful disposition make him a hallmark of the Super Mario Bros. series." (I laughed hard, that is a great line.)

041Kyo Kusanagi-"Kyo Kusanagi is the poster child of the plus-populated roster in the King of Fighters series." (What does plus-populated mean?)

046Lucca-"her inventions also a catalyst for the events leading to the quest that is undertaken in Chrono Trigger. " [(her inventions also serve as) or more simply (her inventions are a...)]

-"unbeknownst to their home time" ("unknown in their home time") (unbeknowst implies that the home time itself is unaware, not of the monsters, but of her powers of fire)

047Jedah Dohma- "His visions of what's to become of the world around him is something he dwells heavily upon." ("are" instead of "is")

051Dr. Robotnik "...hands takes center stage in Sonic's adventures hereafter." (thereafter is more appropriate as the article does not expand on Sonic's adventures)

054Dr. Wily- "let them wreak havoc on the city of Monsteropolis in an attempt..." (I'm just curious about this, because I've never seen that name before. I haven't played a lot of the Mega Man games so...)

056Beat- "games such as The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker and Sly Raccoon" (Okay, so this is a cheap nit-pick, but it's called Sly Cooper in the states and even though I know that, and anyone with a brain can figure out what it's talking about, should it be noted that it's called Sly Cooper as Jet Set Radio is also appended thusly?)

059Earthworm Jim- "as well as Jim's own voice" (As well as supplying Jim's own...)

060Dracula- "relishing bloodthirsty fangs and piercing eyes" (Sounds like he likes vampires instead of being one. Replace with something more like "known for his bloodthirsty...")

062Karin Kanzuki- "One must get the hand of these combos to be effective with Karin." ("hang" instead of "hand")

-"Using her family power she tracks down the roving Sakura and does eventually emerge the victor" (It implies that she inherited some sort of tracking power. Not sure how to fix it though)

064Mario (kart)- "Mario has starred in his own kart racing series since 1992, and has since continued as a strong venture of the Mario franchise." ("...since 1992, one that has continued...")

065Snake-"his track record on missions has earned himself a reputation." (should just be "him" instead of "himself")

-"Snake is a clone of who is said to be the greatest soldier in the 20th century," (of the man said to be...)

068Squall Leonhart-"Sporting a fur-trimmed leather jacket, a gunblade on his shoulder" (stylistic choice, but I feel like it should be "sporting a fur-trimmed leather jacket and a gunblade on his shoulder...")

Quick note. Aeris"...and to escape their clutches she enlists Cloud as her bodyguard in exchange for a date. And so Aeris Gainsborough joins the story of Final Fantasy VII."

(I think the "and so" can be dropped, and potentially replaced by "thus" or some other word. The reason is because there are two "and" modified sentences really close together.)

[Linearity]

Darklink42, I was begrudging your suggestions at first because this project is elderly and wants to pass away, and your editing can only prolong its life. But these you just posted are good catches, and I thank you for them. My responses are below. Polo should speak only for Polo when equating our collective modus operandi with nitpicking; I don't particularly like nitpicking. And I still want to publish this and be done as soon as DJP and Larry are ready to finalize.

The reason is this: whenever somebody goes back for more editing, I feel a need to be involved, because what is being edited is two and a half years of work in which I have invested a considerable amount of time and effort. I can't just sit back and let the others take care of it, as it seems watkinzez has done, because I want a say in how all of my work turns out.

Polo, you seem to have a lot more free time than I have to devote to this project, and as such you are better equipped to develop the project as you see fit. I simply can't keep up with you; I can't discuss everything with you and debate what changes to make. If we continue to fine-tune the project after this weekend, my schedule demands that I walk away and submit to whatever you and Dafydd and newcomers come up with.

Therefore, I ask you, Dafydd and Polo, that we decide to be done with the project's content. It is marvelous as it stands now. If it were only half-complete, or still in rough draft form, my request would be ludicrous. But it is not half-complete or rough; it is grand. I haven't any more time to give to it, and I ask that you not put in more time without me.

031Lara Croft- "and the many modes of transportation including jeep, motorbike, and kayak." ("and varied modes of transportation including jeeps, motorbikes, and kayaking")

It's nitpicky but good. Changed.

038Azel- "For her many complexities, her inner conflicts, and her personality that is unique for a female RPG character, Azel remains to this day a much-loved fan favourite." (...and a personality unique to female RPG characters) ("favorite" is also spelled wrong)

This is fine as it is. Favourite is the British spelling.

041Kyo Kusanagi-"Kyo Kusanagi is the poster child of the plus-populated roster in the King of Fighters series." (What does plus-populated mean?)

Good point. Changed to "heavily-populated"

046Lucca-"her inventions also a catalyst for the events leading to the quest that is undertaken in Chrono Trigger. " [(her inventions also serve as) or more simply (her inventions are a...)

Probably a typo. Changed.

-"unbeknownst to their home time" ("unknown in their home time") (unbeknowst implies that the home time itself is unaware, not of the monsters, but of her powers of fire)

Excellent.

047Jedah Dohma- "His visions of what's to become of the world around him is something he dwells heavily upon." ("are" instead of "is")

Righto. "...are things upon which he dwells..."

051Dr. Robotnik "...hands takes center stage in Sonic's adventures hereafter." (thereafter is more appropriate as the article does not expand on Sonic's adventures)

That's the difference between "this" and "that." I'm leaving it as is.

054Dr. Wily- "let them wreak havoc on the city of Monsteropolis in an attempt..." (I'm just curious about this, because I've never seen that name before. I haven't played a lot of the Mega Man games so...)

It's right as is.

056Beat- "games such as The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker and Sly Raccoon" (Okay, so this is a cheap nit-pick, but it's called Sly Cooper in the states and even though I know that, and anyone with a brain can figure out what it's talking about, should it be noted that it's called Sly Cooper as Jet Set Radio is also appended thusly?)

It's fine. Ship it, as they say.

059Earthworm Jim- "as well as Jim's own voice" (As well as supplying Jim's own...)

You're right, that works better.

060Dracula- "relishing bloodthirsty fangs and piercing eyes" (Sounds like he likes vampires instead of being one. Replace with something more like "known for his bloodthirsty...")

I think "relishing" probably was meant to be "brandishing" or "flourishing." I changed it to "brandishing."

062Karin Kanzuki- "One must get the hand of these combos to be effective with Karin." ("hang" instead of "hand")

Yep.

-"Using her family power she tracks down the roving Sakura and does eventually emerge the victor" (It implies that she inherited some sort of tracking power. Not sure how to fix it though)

I think it's "family's power" or, more clearly, "family's influence." Changed.

064Mario (kart)- "Mario has starred in his own kart racing series since 1992, and has since continued as a strong venture of the Mario franchise." ("...since 1992, one that has continued...")

Yes.

065Snake-"his track record on missions has earned himself a reputation." (should just be "him" instead of "himself")

-"Snake is a clone of who is said to be the greatest soldier in the 20th century," (of the man said to be...)

Yes.

068Squall Leonhart-"Sporting a fur-trimmed leather jacket, a gunblade on his shoulder" (stylistic choice, but I feel like it should be "sporting a fur-trimmed leather jacket and a gunblade on his shoulder...")

Yes.

Quick note. Aeris"...and to escape their clutches she enlists Cloud as her bodyguard in exchange for a date. And so Aeris Gainsborough joins the story of Final Fantasy VII."

(I think the "and so" can be dropped, and potentially replaced by "thus" or some other word. The reason is because there are two "and" modified sentences really close together.)

Changed to "thus."

[Dafydd]

I understand where you're coming from, Linearity, so how about this - from now on, we will stop rewording phrases, but we will always be on the lookout for spelling errors and missing periods. Commas will be less of a concern. Actual fact errors, if any, must be fixed though, don't you think? Also, the list of games in which a character is in can still be updated as more and more games are remixed. Updating those lists is not an imperative, but I'd be willing to add games to the appearances lists if someone (an casual visitor, for example) posts about how Mario was also in, e.g. Super Mario Land 2 (which hasn't been remixed yet, but when it has a remix on the site, I can add it to Mario's appearances). This does in no way behoove you to do the same. I understand why you don't want anyone messing with your bios behind your back. Still, like I said, DJP is probably going to take a pretty long time adding this new functionality to the site, and in the meantime, we can at least let Darklink42 post his suggestions. He is well informed that considering them is at our discretion.

[Polo]

Polo should speak only for Polo when equating our collective modus operandi with nitpicking; I don't particularly like nitpicking.

Okay then, to clarify: my personal work ethic dictates that I catch details that can reasonably be fixed if I can help it.

Polo, you seem to have a lot more free time than I have to devote to this project, and as such you are better equipped to develop the project as you see fit. I simply can't keep up with you; I can't discuss everything with you and debate what changes to make. If we continue to fine-tune the project after this weekend, my schedule demands that I walk away and submit to whatever you and Dafydd and newcomers come up with.

Linearity, I know you put a lot of time and effort into this project since before I joined, so I understand your feelings about wanting these articles to be savored for the love already put into them. I apologize for stressing you out by bringing up equivocal details that ultimately don't really need to be fixed. But thank you for taking care of Darklink42's new suggestions; you saved me some time by giving some of yours.

What does plus-populated mean?

It's like saying "over-populated" but without suggesting there's too many fighters to keep track of. But never mind that because Lin already changed it.

Monsteropolis is written in the Mega Man instruction manual: "It's Mega Man versus the powerful leaders and fighting forces of Monsteropolis — that strange multi-faceted land of robot-like Humanoids."

Dafydd, do you think a note about regional differences could be something you'd mention in your project blurb? Just in case people think "favourite", "realise", "colour", and so on in some bios are wrong.

"To purchase this domain name, Please contact us for more information." So says the Core Design website (Lara Croft's creator). Probably because there's 0 employees, according to Wikipedia. Hence the link removal. (I will still update broken links, just so you know.)

[Dafydd]

I will mention the regional differences, yes.

[Linearity]

I understand where you're coming from, Linearity, so how about this - from now on, we will stop rewording phrases, but we will always be on the lookout for spelling errors and missing periods. Commas will be less of a concern. Actual fact errors, if any, must be fixed though, don't you think...we can at least let Darklink42 post his suggestions. He is well informed that considering them is at our discretion.

That sounds like a good compromise. Spelling and periods don't really call for much debate as grammar might. And I feel comfortable deferring to you guys on correcting factual errors. Let's agree to leave the wording and grammar as it stands and I will be at ease.

[Darklink42]

That sounds like a good compromise. Spelling and periods don't really call for much debate as grammar might. And I feel comfortable deferring to you guys on correcting factual errors. Let's agree to leave the wording and grammar as it stands and I will be at ease.

Hey Linearity, I don't mean to be coming in and mucking up the works if that's what you mean. I understand, and I already talked to Dafydd about this before I even posted anything, that I am essentially a random guy who is coming in and throwing a bunch of stuff out. Like I stated at the beginning, I'm just looking to help, and if it's creating too much extra stress, I'm okay with stopping. I'm not trying to create a ton of new work for you guys or anything like that. If anything, it's merely because I think the site deserves a polished feature (as I know you guys do as well). And in with that in mind, I thought I'd be helpful in doing some editorial reviewing. If you'd like, I can hold off on phrasing changes (as those are probably the least helpful and most time consuming to consider) until you guys have finished everything else that needs to be done, and just focus on spelling, grammar and typos. (Though I have to say that, for the most part, there haven't been a lot of those which is awesome.) Again, I'm sorry if I'm getting in the way more than I'm helping.