timaeus222 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 This is one of my favorite themes in Black/White, and I just got some insanely cool ideas on this! I do plan to submit this. :3 I have a hunch the drums may need modification, and maybe the tonal suitability, but that's just me so far. I'm using FL Studio. Totally influenced by WillRock and Diggi Dis. ;D Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Sj8DpYZu_Q "Mirror 1" "Mirror 2"Remix: http://www.box.com/s/jsyp66te9t945fk12gi6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electric concerto Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 OMG-MY-EARS!!! That e-piano at the beginning has GOT to go/change/SOMEthing! And why does it sound like all you did with the drums is stereo separation? Try putting some drums on one side of the stereo spectrum and some drums on the other side. This song could use some variations. It sounds like the same instruments all the way through. I know it really isn't, but it has that feel. More... dynamics? More drums fills plz. Overall, a kinda boring song IMO. I would love to see excitement in this, as I hear a ton of potential. Have a sax go crazy after the retro synth solo or something. Give it JUICE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 There is a bit of clash with how the piano sounds here - in particular 0:13 and 0:15 sound a bit ugly. The drums also could use some tweaking. It is completely devoid of any oomph in the snare. I think the synth could benefit from some snazziness thrown in, as well as brought forward. The song sounds overcompressed , and it shows towards the end of the song. The electric guitar sample also doesn't sound too hot. The arrangement hops around a lot without really developing a central idea, and the song just sort of ends. There's some potential here, but the song needs a lot of work put into it to make it more interesting and enjoyable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 There is a bit of clash with how the piano sounds here - in particular 0:13 and 0:15 sound a bit ugly. The drums also could use some tweaking. It is completely devoid of any oomph in the snare. I think the synth could benefit from some snazziness thrown in, as well as brought forward. The song sounds overcompressed , and it shows towards the end of the song. The electric guitar sample also doesn't sound too hot. The arrangement hops around a lot without really developing a central idea, and the song just sort of ends.There's some potential here, but the song needs a lot of work put into it to make it more interesting and enjoyable. I knew the snare needed work. Just wanted to make sure. The song isn't overcompressed until the last three notes. I'll fix that. The electric guitar "sample" isn't really a sample. It's an acoustic with a virtual amp. Perhaps you could suggest some amping features you would have put or something. I have Guitar Rig 4. The saw wave lead was meant to not have too much resonance, but I guess I could increase the treble some. The arrangement shouldn't sound too random if you listen to this song, because it was kind of based off of it. More drums fills plz.Overall, a kinda boring song IMO. I would love to see excitement in this, as I hear a ton of potential. Have a sax go crazy after the retro synth solo or something. Give it JUICE! It honestly doesn't seem like you know what you're talking about. You weren't sure of a lot of things, and you seem to only advise to your preference. No offense, but there are things you said that aren't true. Electric Pianos can sound really nice, and there's no reason to not have an Electric Piano intro other than if it seems prolonged. Also, a sax might be too bold for this type of remix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electric concerto Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Fine. Take your song and shove it if you're going to be an ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 I never tried to be an ass. All I said was that if you don't know what you're talking about, do some research, get experience, and contribute with positive motivation. This is a remix community, not a criticism-heavy forum. I just want information from a sure person. I even said "No offense" by the way... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelPanic Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 All I said was that if you don't know what you're talking about, do some research, get experience, and contribute with positive motivation. This is a remix community, not a criticism-heavy forum. I just want information from a sure person. It doesn't have to be positive, it just has to be constructive. Which he was. If you can't take constructive criticism, don't take any criticism. Would you rather hear that or "sounds cool!" Also, when you post in the WIP forums you are submitted directly to criticism. Anyways, semantics aside, the song: I feel it kinda drones in the beginning, might want something softer compared to the syncopated guitar, like a pad synth earlier in the song. The distortion you use makes the genre hard to define. I feel like it could be a jazzy version, but then it feels dirtier than that, so I think you wither want to work in a higher octave for the distortion in order to get a cleaner note with plenty of distortion, or include a cleaner countermelody, because the melody just feel out of the song. I love 1:30 onward. Dat melody is niiiiiiice. I think that part is what makes the song for me. Build up to that. It's awesome it exists, but I need to feel it coming, and be glad it came. All in all, a good concept and pretty good arrangement, I suggest working around with genre as this source is quite versatile, because I think with the synths you use it could be an awesome techno song, or with the guitar you use it could be some nice club jazz. Test the waters and see what you get (maybe even post it here for some compare/contrast? ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electric concerto Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 I never tried to be an ass. All I said was that if you don't know what you're talking about, do some research, get experience, and contribute with positive motivation. This is a remix community, not a criticism-heavy forum. I just want information from a sure person. I even said "No offense" by the way... Sorry, I was being out of character, been a bad day for me. Let me post what I would NORMALLY post to what you said. My type in music is all types, all preferences. I do not stick to any one genre or style, so you cannot hold that against me. I love all music, listen to all types music, but I am only best at making trance, though I'm trying to fix that. What I was referring to about the piano was the EQing. It had a low sample quality to it and therefore had a piercing frequency to me. THAT is what I was complaining about. I LOVE the sound of an e-piano, just not that particular one... I've been in the music business since I was 5. I'm now 27. You do the math. I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I'm definintly no noob. The reason I made it seem like I was "unsure" was to leave room for personal interpretation. I want you to think you came up with the idea. I'm not here to get famous, I'm here to listen to good remixes of my favorite VG songs. No offence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 @electric concerto: No worries. I just don't want to feel like I'm insulting anyone or being insulted. The electric piano was under the effects of a virtual guitar amp. It was weird that it sort of worked for a while there; the preset was actually called "Vocal and Piano", so I thought it would have worked since it improved the soundspace. @Pixel Panic: Yeah, I do know that criticism doesn't have to be positive, but I just meant that if there is criticism, there should be positive assurance to keep the remixer motivated. Thank you for your criticism too. I'll see if I can do something different with this, but I REALLY want to start off the remix with that electric piano. Maybe I can fix the EQ of everything for now. :{} I'll also try some stuff with reverse cymbals and new drum samples. EDIT: Will add V2 here later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 Bump! Here's the V2! http://www.box.com/s/51mm1f2pbk4fd9tpdu5f Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 The second one really seeems to fix most of the problems I had with the first one. I think the arrangement is nice, and it has a cool feel to it. Good stuff so far! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted February 27, 2012 Author Share Posted February 27, 2012 Thanks! I finished the V3! I made an "intro" to 1:30 and I changed the first "hardcore" electric guitar to a similar synth to the one at 1:30, to foreshadow it so there won't be any surprises. http://www.box.com/s/mi1j7nvkvzx8itojudx1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I think putting a subtle flanger on the electric piano at the beginning would go a long way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calum Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 To be honest, the original sounds more retro/jazz than your remix. By reducing the harmonic language to a 3-ish chord progression (the chords you use sound like open fifths at times or just triads - whereas in the original the chords are more extended and specific jazz chords) and so it has lost its character to me! The accompaniment is washed in so much reverb as well that it's hard to hear the harmony clearly. You experimented with harmony in the very introduction with the E. Piano but you left it there. I found the whole mix kind of meandering. I liked the synth/guitar solos. But again it's all on one level and that might have to do to with your drums which are fairly repetitive as well. Consider going half-time at some point or double time or taken them out or just the kick or any of these. So to conclude: mix up drums + I WOULD retain a closer chord progression to the original (you don't have to) + lay off the reverb on the chords + get a larger sense of structure in the piece which can be articulated by the drums and other instrumental changes. It's good but there are a lot of things that set the original a way ahead - right now I have little reason to listen to yours over the original. I'm too tired to be nice BUT take all of that constructively please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Rex Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 The melody is lost at times behind the overbearing chords, namely in the beginning ish. also, at 1:52, you have a piano with the melody/variation doing some rocking solo, and it wasn't very apparent. bring that out. the song had some dissonant echo afterward, you might want to check that out. I'd echo the complaint about the reverb on the echo. some good ideas, but it just needs some tightening and fine tuning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 11, 2012 Author Share Posted March 11, 2012 To be honest, the original sounds more retro/jazz than your remix. By reducing the harmonic language to a 3-ish chord progression (the chords you use sound like open fifths at times or just triads - whereas in the original the chords are more extended and specific jazz chords) and so it has lost its character to me! The accompaniment is washed in so much reverb as well that it's hard to hear the harmony clearly.You experimented with harmony in the very introduction with the E. Piano but you left it there. I found the whole mix kind of meandering. I liked the synth/guitar solos. But again it's all on one level and that might have to do to with your drums which are fairly repetitive as well. Consider going half-time at some point or double time or taken them out or just the kick or any of these. So to conclude: mix up drums + I WOULD retain a closer chord progression to the original (you don't have to) + lay off the reverb on the chords + get a larger sense of structure in the piece which can be articulated by the drums and other instrumental changes. It's good but there are a lot of things that set the original a way ahead - right now I have little reason to listen to yours over the original. I'm too tired to be nice BUT take all of that constructively please Actually, there ARE some really good harmonies in there. You just can't hear them because of the strange reverb you apparently hear. I'll see what I can do to fix it in the future. It's the effects from a Guitar Rig preset ("Psychedelic Delay"). I'll just need to modify it. And I am aware of the structure problem, but it's just hard to figure out a working structure without having a remix of a similar style I previously made that "had a good structure". This is my finalized "structure", but I'll be modifying the feel of the structure later. the song had some dissonant echo afterward, you might want to check that out. I'm aware of that echo. It's from a Guitar Rig preset ("Psychedelic Delay"). I'll just need to modify it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 Okay, I finally had time to get back to this: V4: http://www.box.com/s/17652d93351f36b1a672 Improved/Different drums, non-subdued piano solo #2, less reverb on the rhythm guitar, misc. mixing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tesselode Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Alright here we go: -It sounds like that electric piano at the beginning has no decay. That bothers me; it's unnatural sounding. -Everything feels too loud. You probably have some of the less important instruments, like the piano sound in the background, turned up too loud, and it's making everything feel compressed. As a side effect of this, the song has no variation in volume. -Last, I'm not sure what this song is trying to be. The piano part in the background gives it kind of a foreign feel, but the electric guitar and the drums make me disagree with that. Your song is a mixture of different styles, but it doesn't seem like anything in particular. So yeah, maybe I'll like your remix more if you give it a clear direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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