djpretzel Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Hello! A remix of the Underground music from the Super Mario games. Also posted a thread on the forums: http://wwwocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=62759 Don't know if any more information is needed, if so just mail me. Enjoy! /Daniel Dahl aka Sunshine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 http://www.zophar.net/nsf/smb1.zip - Track 2 ("Underground BGM") I'll give you props for actually having a beefy intro here. Nice loud synths along with a nice pad underneath. The Mario sound effects get annoying/tacky as you kept using them. Things really kicked in at 1:00, and I'm not really a fan of the clutter. Though loud, it sounds resonably acceptable here, so that's nothing that affects my judgement. The source theme arrangement was staying too simple, but 1:44 at least changed up the ideas with an original section. 2:06 then started referencing the source very subtlely. By 2:28 the arrangement is retreading itself. There also wasn't much of an ending at 2:51. Sounded very "I give up"-ish. Write an ending to give the track some actual resolution for the finish. It's certainly alright for a trance track, but you've really gotta think of ways to rearrange the source tune further besides transposing the melody to the trance genre. Play around with the rhythms and weave original composition ideas into the "Underground BGM" melody; provide more ideas in general within your 3 minutes. The SFX gives the track a bit more material to fill things out, but don't use them so much, especially since it's just the same few effects repeated ad nauseum. Sounds too gimmicky and too much like a crutch for a lack of arrangement ideas, so perhaps scale that back. Keep working on it; lots of potential, Daniel. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Ascher-Weiss Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 The new progression was enough to make this piece interpretitive. The C minor was a no brainer, but Ab major was completely unexpected yet fits right in! In addition, the bass line has been changed into a melody, and that melody it self has been altered into a fourteen note pattern instead of a six note one. That seems like plenty of interpretation to me. Problems begin when the drums enter. The obligato synth's constant barrage of notes wasn't overwhelming at first, but now that the bass druming is hamering every downbeat, it makes the looser free floating synth sound like it's four note figures over and over, as though it's being retriggered by the bass drum. The bass INSTRUMENT is doing a great job, by only playing the off beats... great for that pocket you're trying to create. I'd suggest not always having a bass drum on everybeat, and sometimes ending the 16th note work midway through the bar, or even not starting it until midway and fading it out before the end of any given measure. This should be done frequently as long as the bass drum is playing the role of rhythmic taskmaster. The final problem is.... the lack of mr. developement. We end at roughly the same place we were in when you first introduced the percussion. The only true variation that took place during the in between time was the melody's brief hiatus. You have permission to change the instrument playing the melody, or even simpler, bring it up an octave. You can transpose the whole thing up a minor third [from C to Eb] and give the mix a half time feel for a while. If your back up pad plays eighth notes instead of sixteenth notes, your bass line hits off beats half as often, and your bass drum only lands once every FOUR downbeats, you'll be suprised by what a FRESH sound that will give a new section. SOOOO You want more variety, deal with the claustrophobia brought to us courtesy of the bass drum and 16th note synth combo, and why not have some clear build so that we end up somewhere different from where we started. Sound good? Okay GRRRREAT! n0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zircon Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Lack of development is probably the biggest problem. Sure, this is a neat dance mix, but it's essentially just the original melody + progression moved into a trance structure, and a relatively static one at that. I like that you used sound effects and some added synths as the song progressed, but you do need more than supersaws to keep this going. What you need; a better variety of synths, more motion within the synths (automation or fading), but most importantly, a more thought out arrangement with a different resolution. Until then I have to leave you with a - NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmony Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Lack of development is probably the biggest problem. Exactly. For the number of ideas that come up in this song, 3 mins is way too short of a mix. Variety and progression are the keys to bringing this trance tune to it’s proper place in the sun. From the beat to the stock trance synths, there's a lot of potential to expand on what' here. Love the SFX, but I agree that they get overused. Why not pull some more from the billion other Mario titles? This track is pretty enjoyable as a whole but it's just not a finished product yet. Keep working at it. NO (Please Resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Was looking around WIP a minute ago and saw a thread for this one. No wonder the forum link you posted didn't work. You messed up the URL. http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=62759 The next time you sample or arrange from someone else's work, explicitly state as much in your submission letter, as you did in the Works forum. Luckily this was further arranged enough to not be a violation in my opinion, but not giving that information in the submission letter to djpretzel comes across as shady. The MIDI issue wasn't a problem in the case though. The fact that you mentioned it in the WIP thread means you weren't trying to hide it, but just be aware that if we're not aware of it, and someone ELSE points it out (we can't check every WIP thread involving a submission), it has the possibility of making you look as if you're not being completely upfront on purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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