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*NO* F-Zero 'La Ville aux Sourdine'


djpretzel
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F-Zero meets Dave Brubeck? Nice concept, truly, but... major drum problems, or just me? - djp

Game: F-Zero

Remixers: Koelsch1, Rexy

Song: La Ville aux Sourdine

I first started working on this back in August when I was playing around with the Mute City theam on an organ. Then a few days later I re-wrote it in a dance style for a jazz quartet. I changed up all the chord progressions a lot. It used to have a really dissonent intro and ending, but Rexy didnt like the chords so she did something completly different.

The sax tone is pretty different than my past stuff. And Rexy seems to have gotten rid of the recording static. I have since also found a way to get rid of it.

I wanted to call it "La Ville aux Sourdine" but Rexy said it would sound stupid since "Sourdine" reffers to an actual muteing device, such as a trumpet mute. So she named it "La Ville du Silence" But this confused people since there is already another track on F-Zero called Silence.

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http://snesmusic.org/spcsets/fzero.rsn - "Silence" (fz-05.spc) & "Select Time Theme" (fz-08.spc)

Wanna point out that I like the arrangement ideas here. But I'm gonna be pretty quick on this one, as the major issues seem apparent. The percussion is basic and sloppily handled. The timing seems slightly off and it repeats too much, along with the piano on support. If it's gonna be like that, cut down the track length.

The sax performance needs to sound a bit richer and stand out in the foreground more; it's being overshadowed by the percussion due to the perc being so loud in comparison. Relatively solid performance from Bev. Sax work from 4:41-4:49 felt really out of place. Fairly good switchup to "Select Time Theme" at 5:03, though 5:17-5:19 sounded a bit off.

I'd like to see some suggestions from the Js on how to handle this jazzy percussion, both presentation and variation. Fix that up drastically and improve the sax presentation and I'd pass this.

NO (refine/resubmit)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.

Drum programming is really, really off here. Is this supposed to be swing?

Why you chose that particular hi-hat pattern is a complete puzzle to me. Really, I'm scratching my head right now.

It's cool that you're improvising. That being said, the solos are pretty awful, often stumbling into scale degrees that clash with the chord structure (although Monk did this, but he was intentional about it). Both the piano and the sax have really awkward phrasing, and generally futz around without any clear purpose save to fill space.

The piano comping is sloppy and doesn't groove even a little. There's really no quick fix for this, except to keep playing and keep listening to good jazz (if you need examples, Miles Davis Quintet, Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers, Ellington, Art Tatum, Bill Evans Trio, etc etc etc)

The drumming, in addition to being agitating is completely unvaried and full of out-of-time drum fills.

I think the drum pattern is a deliberate attempt to be "experimental" or something like that, but I don't know for sure. If that's not the case I'd suggest listening to some more Brubeck and really figuring out which beats to emphasize when you're laying down the drums...it sounds like you did these live, possibly on a keyboard, though I can't be sure.

If this is exactly what you wanted the drums to sound like, then i don't know what to tell you. It just doesn't work.

NO

Keep playing and keep boning up on your music theory. Remember, you've gotta know your instrument and the theory before you can throw off all conventions and do whatever the hell you want.

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Young man, you've got to do some SERIOUS boning! [/simpsons]

the first thing I noticed before the horrible drums came in is that the piano comping is very straightforward, both rhythmically and in the chosen voicings. root position triads get dull. once the vamp comes in at least you use an inversion, but it's always the same voicings. this gets really boring. please use sime different voicings and some different rhythms.

obviously the drums are bad. no need to beat that dead horse.

and onto the sax. everything JJT says is true, and there's little i could say about the sax that i havent said before.

Chaos isnt artistic unless there's order to compare it to.

NO

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